I promise tomorrow I’ll be active and try my best to help you out in any way I can, but I’m having a really shitty night rn. I already took my meds and even had a reiki session, as well as meditation, but I still feel in the edge of a panic attack. Just wanna get the hell out my mother’s house. Wish i had somewhere to spend the night.
I prayed for all of you earlier.
Hope you’re doing fine.
I made some lovely sausage rolls and chips and I am about to settle down and FINALLY watch the first part of Mockingjay! Â I’ve been waiting to do this forever it seem now, blimey.
And I’ve got some lovely chocolate biscuits to indulge in after my lovely sausage rolls.
Yes, I know that it is very late over here but I don’t work tomorrow, so a bit of naughty is totally fine.
Maybe I would be different if I had someone to speak with. Someone that I trusted. Unfortunately for me, fortunately for others, I don’t.
But I guess that’s fine. No one ever cared anyway.
I am such a coward. I wish I would just be brave enough to forget about everything and die. But im a coward and I hate myself even more for it.
I’m afraid I’ve gone bad again. Well let’s be honest… I was never fine.
I’ve quite my job where I had to handle all the sexual harassment from my boss.
My “friends” don’t really reach out to me. I kind of don’t care yet it hurts .. does that make sense?
Still planning on my second attempt.
I did buy an anxiety toy so I can at least deal with that somehow.
But to be honest. The day for me to go seems closer and closer. Slowly.
Scared and hurt he looks around
No one moves or makes a sound
Wipes his tears away and runs so far to hide away
One fine day he sits there
On a hilltop in open air
Looking for something he can’t find anywhere
From the outside he looks fine…
When you look deep down inside
You can see the anger flaming up inside his head
From the outside he looks fine…
When you look deep down inside
You can see the anger flaming up inside his head
Scared and hurt he looked around
Looking up at us he frowned
Fought his tears away and ran so far to […]
so I met someone about a month ago and since then we’ve met and hung out a few times and talked consistently. All is well, and I don’t care if it doesn’t escalate. I’m happy being friends.
However, I feel like I’ve worn out my welcome. Conversations have become shorter and less frequent. Less uhh, ‘lovey dovey’ style. No more emojis or flirtatious conversations. Talking in general has almost come to a complete halt.
And by all means, it’s fine. Her life is not mine to keep. But still, it sucks gradually drifting especially with all the effort I try and put in.
I guess what I have […]
I have a health issue that im trying to address. Everyone ignores when i say this. They just think im crazy over some bs. That is fine. But dont insult me. I dont bring up your drinking problems, your previous drug problem, the fact that you are two faced toward everyone. I dont bring up that you were previoulsy a a prostitute. I dont judge you all. How dare you judge me, but wont even listen to me when i try to explain my health issue. Thats fine. Believe what you want. i hope you all die or end up homeless, instead of me. Im […]
Every day I wake up, dreading everything and anything that could happen during the day. I get to school. Everything’s fine. Walk down the hall my friends wait for the bell in and sit with them. Just fine. They start talking with each other, leaving me to my thoughts, and suddenly everything around me goes quiet. It’s like a little island. Just me. Reaching out for someone to notice the little, nerdy, fat girl who just wants to be loved. Then the bell rings and everything is fine. My friends call me to walk with them to class and we joke around as if nothing […]
I went to see my therapist a week ago. I told her I was starving myself, and that when I do eat something small, I purge. She looked at me and said I was fine. I don’t think I’m skinny enough anyways, but what bothered me was that she just glanced at me and in less than a minutes she decided I was fine. Is that normal for therapists to do? Or I am just exaggerating and I’m perfectly fine? My psychiatrist said the same. But everyday the first thing I do is weigh myself. I love seeing the number drop. I hate when it […]
Hi guys. So after living with my grandparents for a month, I thought my mom would finally cool off and be like a normal person you know. I came home on the Christmas Eve. She was fine. We hugged and she was normal and I started acting normal. I thought we were fine. The next day she was still fine. Then the third day she got irritated with everything I do again. The fourth day she didn’t even talk to me that much. Today is the fifth day which is 29 of December. She got angry over a small thing like why I never try […]
I want a painless way to die. I don’t want comments telling me to rethink and that everything will be fine. Just give me a few painless ways to die please.
Today was fine.
But fine is not enough.
And I cut myself for fun.
Because I can.
Because no matter how happy I get,
I still rather be dead.
Why are ppl so inconsiderate? ! A prime example of shit that happens to me… I WAS asleep. I was actually having the best sleep I’ve had in 2 weeks. She sends her kids downstairs to be away from her & they play on the xbox. Noe the xbox is right next to my “room”, with just a curtain dividing.
Do of course, kids being kids, they start yelling & making sound effects & the boy kept calling to me, reminding me that I had to show him something. Â She knows that I cannot shut kids voices out, like she, their mother, can.
So of course I […]
…because one day we will all be Dead 🙂
It’s always nice to know that my family unanimously agrees that I’m a world class fuck-up. They expected me to completely and utterly ruin anything and everything for everyone at a wedding, and was completely baffled that everything turned out fine. But they are still dissapointed for a reason they refuse to enlighten me about. What in the holy hell have I ever done wrong? Whatever, it doesn’t matter what I did they’re still going to hate me for who I am regardless of what I do.
HI. I’ve just found this site. I know if my boyfriend or friends or housemates knew I was here they would be devastated. But I am struggling.
I first attempted suicide and began a relationship with self-harm aged 15. I’m now 30. I have a standard abuse history. I most definitely am not original. My parents emotionally and physically abused me. My friend raped me at a party when I was 16. My boyfriend died when I was 17. My friend’s father used me as a sex pet when I was living with her family when I was 17. My boyfriend beat me when I was […]
I don’t want to die I just want to be scared and if that means dying than that’s fine… I’m not afriad of committing suicide, I’m scared if I were fail… What people would think of me.
Red against white, who will win?
Silver metal, my deadly sin, some days I don’t wanna win.
Feeling high, feeling numb, lost again in this-
Eternal bliss.
But the scars that cover my wrist are so damn hard to over come.
Hearing the words they say, seeing the looks they give
Telling myself I’m not good enough.
I’m worthless, that I’m not allowed to breath-
Don’t say I’m not, don’t tell me I’ll be fine.
I don’t wanna see the light, at least not for tonight.
I wanna be dreaming of a lost happiness
Of someone loving this crazy broken person
Of not being shattered
You ask me if I’m okay, I say I’m fine.
I Lied
“Do you want a hug?””No”, I replied.
I lied
“Something wrong?””No”, I said.
I lied
The only time I tell the truth is when I’m broken down, and crying.You say It’ll be all right
You lied.
Every night I go to sleep suicidal. Every morning I wake up fine. But what type of life is that?
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