Okay, so here is the link to read what I have written so far of my short story. I’ll be updating it probably daily, and would really like your opinions on it. Thanks.
Tag:
Flowers
Autumn is here….the season where everything dies…. I love this time of year and I’m glad that this will be the last season I ever experience…its something soothing about watching nature die….the leaves fall…the grass turns tan…..the bugs die…..flowers wilt away…. seems like the perfect time to die….
I think my life isn’t half bad. In fact others tell me “what do you have to be sad about?.. you have it so good”. Well,  you see I actually feel invisible. I don’t feel  like a matter or have a purpose on this earth. I am 22.. I thought when you become older you stop feeling this way because of hormones. But these past few months I haven’t felt well. So far I don’t eat very much lately, I’ve been wanting to change how I look, I’ve been drinking more than I used to. And I would commit suicide only if I wasn’t hurting […]
It’s nearly midnight and what’s happening? The thoughts are returning…..The voices are speaking..no, YELLING at me >.< I can hear them now….. “Die ***** die!” “Who says you’re worth living?” “You don’t deserve to live. Your own parents didn’t even want you. HA!”
The thoughts destroy me, kill me, suffocate me, eat me alive. My demons…they’re real. They exist. I don’t want to go on but..I have to. Not just for myself. I’m not living for myself anymore. I’m living for him. And her. For them. They may not care about me but I love them with all my heart.
It’s like…I can scream at them and […]
If anyone has ever read this amazing book (my boyfriend got me to read it and it was absolutely fantastic; I find reading takes my mind off the wear and tears of reality) then I have a question for you: What is your opinion of the Nac Mac Feegles’ view and optimism of death?
Taken straight from Wikipedia (it was the best way to summarize it.):
“The fearlessness of Nac Mac Feegle warriors in combat is derived from their religious belief that they cannot be killed, because they are already dead; they believe that they are in the afterlife, and that any Feegle who is […]
I walk upon this lonely road in a garden of the damned,
Where everyone will sleep one day and the ones who want to rot.
Their flowers wilt and spoil and brown from famine;
It isn’t true when people say they haven’t fought.
There’s blood among roses and posies and wildflowers,
And you don’t need thorns to make it so.
They slowly bleed up to the final hour;
Then nothing can save them and they feel alone.
There’s blood in the leaves and blood in the trees, everything decked in crimson,
No one seems to notice – except us, we do;
I wonder if they’re […]
On TV or in books the protagonist is always described as “ordinary girl”, someone that just looks like no one special but turns out to be very special to just the right boy… People always want to stand out, be that little bit extra pretty, extra smart and just special. I just realised from the very beginning that I had no shot at being special in a good, charming way and extra pretty never kicked in either. I lost the “cute” when I turned about 12 and it just never came back. Instead I just grew tall, and big and insecure. I faked confidence well […]
i once read that the easist way to die is to drowned or whatever i just cant believe that i could be gone that fast but what is it like??? the afterlife is it what i imagine it? flowers, freedom, no one gives a shit what you are?? or if your emo or whatever or is it a big ball of fire? who knows i guess ill find out soon..
Sunny yesterday my life was filled with rain.
I have given up to the point of no return, I can’t get out of bed, I don’t go to school, I don’t do anything but sit on my lazy ass all day. My dad has decided to not pay for post secondary, he however will pay me back for every semester I pass , that seems fair to me, it makes for a better excuse as to why I don’t want to go, it’ll be because I’m “saving up “. Im so content with mediocrity  it’s pathetic I don’t want to strive for anything better i just […]
When the sun sparkles, it makes me glad. A gleam of a smile, it’s nothing like sad.
The flowers arise and the draft sways the trees. Â Mommy, can I go outside please?
A luminous colour of green showers the turf, oh how much I love the earth.
A crack. A cling. A noise from above.
The thunder breaks as I clench my velvet glove.
The sky dims over the splendour, I crouch down, am I the only to surrender?
The devious rain, slashing at my back, something’s coming, something I lack.
Mommy rushes over, gripping my arm. Runs to the house, takes me to the warm.
I look out the window, look out […]
Hey. I’m the Knight of Flowers. I’m Hungarian, 23 years old and have a great job which comes with superb salary. My problem is I can’t stop thinking about who I was: a f’in poor guy who worked for anybody just to earn the money to pay the rent, buy some food. Now I’m rich but I don’t want to be successful because there are people starving or get killed for no reason. Wait, there is a reason: human’s cruelty. We live in a world where most people are evil, only act when their action results in benefits. You can be lucky, have a great […]
Ever just watch pet fish? Watch them swim around in their bowl? Wonder if they are unhappy swimming in circles, seeing the same things, eating the same things, doing the same things? Does my fish, Flex, even know that my other fish, Murs, is in the bowl with him? Does he even notice the rainbow I put in their to help give them some scenery and something to swim through. Just like school, jobs, and sports are just thrown into the world to give us something to do. The flowers, trees, and ‘mystical wonderlands’ are just scenery to spice up the fact that we are just living in a bowl. Oh, and that fish next to you […]
I had a revelation today.
Wait, can you only call it a revelation if it has to do with religion, because I think after my last incident with a priest I won’t be having any revelations anytime soon. Oh well, point is I had a “light bulb” moment, and not really a bright one.
Pun not intended.
Let me take you back to my formative elementary school years: Here’s Violet Blake. She likes to wear foofy dresses with flowers on them and ribbons in her hair. Violet thought she was going to have so many friends, turns out, she was wrong. WAY WRONG. Instead of having a happy […]
I looked outside of my window this afternoon and noticed, as if for the first time, the wooden pillars that hold up a sheet over our patio. My thoughts instantly went to ‘I can buy some rope and hang myself there.’ and I smiled. It’s kind of pretty, it’s right next to a large bush of flowers that grows above our shed.
I think it might be too short for a proper hanging though, so I’ll have to somehow fix it.
It feels nice to have a decision.
“I sit here contemplating my life, I wonder what it has become. I raised four beautiful children on my own who in turn have given me two beautiful grandchildren.” Now why would someone who has that want to commit suicide?
Lets take a deeper look into the life of this young woman who seems to have it all: She’s a single mother who’s children have grown and started their own live’s in other cities, even in other states. She hears from them maybe once a week if not longer unless they need something. They know she’ll always be there. A woman who finds herself alone […]
I am living to make people happy, I’m known as the colorful rainbow who brightens up the day where ever i go,I try to make everyone happy so im always smiling and im nice to everyone and when ever anyone needs advice they come to me. I remember when i was so depressed and suicidal and used to self-harm all the time but i don’t do that anymore, now i look at the workd differently it’s like one morning i woke up and realized there was nothing to be sad about,there was nothing to hate. Whenever j was really low i would always remember “there […]
So I’m startinq to let the real me out.I miss sayinq bi power on my status on Myspace lol.(Like three years aqo)I don’t know If I am bisexual.I’ve refused to answer that question In the past year and a half.Am I still attracted to boys???I don’t know,I just don’t know but I love qays tho!Yall judqe to much tho.It started when I was In eiqhth qrade.I started to qo boy huntinq with my old bestfriend causse I didn’t want her and my ex to do It and I quess I qrowed a feelinq for them.I only told three close friends,One was my old bestfriend.Couple days later two […]