I just stumbled upon that term today. I read up on nihilism before but Existential Nihilism basically holds that life does not have any real meaning or value. I started looking up nihilism when my aunt accused me of being one. When I read about it, it seems to follow my thought process. I see it as more of a neurologically built in philosophy
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This job did its job. It took me some to understand what has fallen through. I was freaking out initially because such changes always seem terrifying at first. I recalled a post of mine where I wrote that I can’t follow my way because I have to bear the burden of sustaining my body/ I feel obligation towards my parents/ I hate society and can’t help influence of people while interacting with them. It now seems that all these things were direct or indirect products of my not having a job. I am saying that because these things are vanished now, I no longer feel […]
Leniency
It’s kind of hard to
At this, moment
What does the music, tell me
Oh, mercy
Go, go, follow
Truest light, yours
I’ve met, Mr. Mime
Or Jynx
Destiny
Far-away from
Whirlpool and tornado
What’s my name
Not this time
Polywag
.
Lyrics:
Gathered like sheep
Mindless like these walls
You’re expected to fit the mold
and kill with a blindfold
Devastated cultures
Justified by “protection”
This is how you win your elections
By occupying
These damaged homes
Generalized
To be a threat
To our privileged lives
Explain to me
The meaning of genocide
Cause in my eyes
That’s what I’m seeing
“So line em up
One by one
And some have fun
Killing everyone”
Who elected these right wing nuts?
With a bloodlust for every country that’s not like us.
(I tried hard to be proud of my service, but all I could feel was shame.
Racism could […]
I don’t know why it’s so hard to survive in this world. It’s not fair. The rich people live easily and they don’t have to worry and I have to struggle every damn day. It’s hard and I’m trying to carve out a path for myself. Sometimes I wish I was never born. I think it might’ve been easier. I don’t have to struggle to find full time work, I don’t have to pay bills, and I don’t have to worry about anyone. When I think about it I think I’ve suffered from depression on and off for a long time. I’ve contemplated suicide on […]
Not sure how to go back.
To the time and place of contentment.
Always looking forward to something.
Sanguine.
Fastforward. Decades pass.
Alone and disconnected.
Betrayed by God
Not having the common decency to exist.
Just as well. Turns out, he’s a dick.
Betrayed by life partner.
A wound that will never heal.
Powerless to trust or forgive.
The cyclops has no will to live.
Hello all i beleive by the time you read this it will be to late so im just writing this for my family and ill leave it up so they can see. Ive finally reached the edge ive been battling depression and suividde since i was 13/14 years old and attempted it for the first time when i was 13 but i was not able to go through with it im 21 now i have streaches of good and bad but this year has really been it for me i recently moved back to my small hometown about 2 yrs ago after being away for […]
I should not be alive.
The moon and I have a unique relationship. I’m a cancer and cancers are called “moon babies”. I often stare at the moonlight. It’s fascinating to me. My dream life would be sitting on the moon, in the pouring rain, in quietness with my dog. I daydream about life being that simple.
I fucking hate everyone in this life. Everyone is selfish and hypocrite. They are saying that they care about you/him/it but in reality they just don’t give a shit. Everyone is doing what the ”majority” (the others) is doing. If everyone has an account on a social networking site (twitter etc) you also need to have one otherwise you are consider weird and strange. If you are not the man with the nice looking appearance and the fancy hairstyle you are also consider outcast (mostly in women). If you are not interested in things like sports & music just like the others do, again you […]
Do you ever think your happy but a repulsive assholes points out your flaws? That happens to me all the time, but look at it this way. You’re a barbie from an outlet store a few bumps and scratches, anyone who doesn’t appreciate You is a snobby asshole. They keep saying they want the real thing, but they’re ignorance has blinded them from the fact that barbie is plastic after all. If you trust me, put “I’m an outlet barbie” in your bio and use the tag #outletbarbie in your pics and I will follow you we can be IG buddies if you want??
I’ll follow the trace of your breath’s exhale
down a river of gold with a shattered glass sail
I’ll visit lands of sapphires and lustrous ebony
to find the taste of ambrosia equal to your beauty
I’ll write poems with glass, in words melted with sun
and sing ballads of skies for the most beautiful one
your tears are the straw I will spin into stars
to become iridescent and celestial martyrs
blessed by the presence of a prophesied king
I’ll put perennial wax on your magnificent wings
let me embellish your body with invaluable jewels
to demonstrate my undying love for you
you’re a shimmering blaze of […]
I went on a trip last week. It was really fun-the sites, the trains, the plane, the hikes and so much more were all unique experiences. I guess it was a taste of freedom. Yet as always, when I returned, my life was still here. I got my exam results which were published during the trip. All the hard work, all the pain, all the anguish.. Meant nothing. I am nothing. I thought that really focusing and working hard would help me… But it didn’t work!!
It let me taste heaven if just for an instant before plunging me back to hell. This […]
My whole life I’ve felt that I will never live to anyone’s expectations and I haven’t. My sister is really smart and has this good life with her boyfriend, my dad wants me to follow her. I tried but I can’t, I can’t just go through school like it’s nothing I actually have to work unlike her, and I will never marry a guy because I’m gay and I kinda have a fear of men. So no matter what I know I will never be good enough, I wish I wasn’t a coward and hurry up and pull the trigger
I just feel numb and cold. My skin feels tight and i feel like i’m suffocating. Why am I here? What am i suppose to be doing? My head feels heavy trying to figure out what path i should follow. What is Life suppose to be like? i should want what other people do right? Family, Love, Success? But i don’t. It doesn’t lift this heaviness in my chest that feel everyday. it feels suffocating to me. That can’t be all there is to life. I feel like i was born in the wrong time. Maybe i should have never existed and should be wiped […]
At least tell me if you can’t help
Can you help toward guide me
You know that we’re still, friends
Forever, I don’t know what’s you delio
Living in the dog-house, the monkey
Doesn’t walk-around anymore is me
Goddamned, don’t let me curse, anymore
What about, your other pal, then
I need the collaboration to termination
Of a, of, of a, reptilian
And I am, the ancient, living, now I know
Of the existence through, this pain that none a soul
I will conquer, I’m talking, out of this blue
Retribution is not a vengeance
Why does it say, see a snake, do you still follow
In the detail, I’m talking about, out of this blue
On to another, hey, you […]
My mother is literally a few paces away. If I went and told her right now that I am planning to kill myself, she will take me to a mental hospital. I could tell her.
But I won’t.
I have letters to write and grades to make. It’s not time yet. I’ll hold on a little bit longer. I have to follow my plan.
Well guys i’ve been through a lot in my life and im only 21.. i just love talking to people and getting to know everyone like i wanted to be treated back when i was younger.. i was always alone and always picked on by so many people… i was made to feel so worthless and so empty. It come to the point where my own parents didnt even want to know me :c For 4 years they still havent seen me.. or talked to me and that hurts, mainly cause my bro and sis follow in my moms footsteps and listen to her… My […]
Since the TBI and NDE I have felt ready to transition.
Despite decades of therapy, death’s call only gets louder.
For each of us it is not if, but when: as per nature, or assisted.
There is nothing mystical to discuss. There are no wounds to others of concern. (The few who know me will be unsurprised.)
Tomorrow will be a new day with or without my participation.
Do not follow my path.
I am not a martyr.
My ego cries to be useful.
My ego cries to die.
I am lost.
people should really work on being more positive and encouraging, yeah people may not care about you and you may not have a strong support system but you owe it to yourself to care and love the person you are. yes easier said that done, but don’t be so negative about it. get into a mind set that you will change for the better and you are already half way there. change your attitude and things tend to follow. JUST A THOUGHT. xoxo