Sometimes I just do things and don’t realize how fucked up those things are until it’s too late. It’s like something just takes over my mind or body. I have sex with boys that I don’t really like then I get mad at them for calling. I am not a good person. Or I don’t know how to be one. I don’t really know. I always say that I’m not just one of those bitchy girls who plays mind games and fucks around. But I am, that’s exactly what I do. In fact, I’m probably a lot worse than all those girls because the entire […]
Tag:
Fumble
I feel like that again. Like all I can do is cry. And be depressed. And hate myself. My tears feel like razor blades. My heart aches. Yet again, I’m not who I seem to be. I’m empty. I’m scared… I want to be gone, so no one has to deal with the pathetic excuse for a person that I am. And so I can be done with this. Disgust is the only thing I see in myself. I’m the one who made myself like this. And there is no way to fix me. I depend on pills to keep me alive, to numb my […]
Do you see the light
At the end of the tunnel
Is it bright?
Come on now don’t fumble.
One slow step at a time
You can make it
You’ll be fine
Come on go bit by bit
You’ve reached the gates
Is it what you thought it’d be?
Look it’s the three fates
Dancing to sad symphonies.
Will you be waiting for me through the strife?
The comes with hell
I think it’s time to pay the price of life
Death come take my soul without fail.
Empty streets, forsaken buildings,
Numbing sleet, deficient shielding,
Foundations crumble,
Hollow grounds rumble,
Lonely and lost,
Pale, cold and humble,
A dull pain in his mind,
While his absent hands fumble.
Sitting alone in the midst of a broken city,
He deserves some care, some love and pity,
A fallacy – his sorry image might delude,
When observing this twisted being in solitude.
The failing architecture that surrounds him,
Tall and formerly grand,
Built with the ingenuity,
Of warmer hands.
Drops of sorrow fall on shattered road,
Unrestrained anguish, where rain once flowed.
The cooling liquid,
That runs from […]
It has stopped.  The agonizing cries have ceased.  No longer will I see shadows chasing my footsteps.  I have materialized once again to bathe myself in a world of love.  I see smiles and happiness all around me.  I am beyond thrilled to feel a touch or witness a smile guided in my direction.  I am a victim no more.  The sun shines on my face.  I moisten my lips and wait for it’s beauty to bestow it’s essence upon me.
Yet, Â I cannot feel it’s grace. Â It does not come. Â The faces start to blur and laughter no longer blesses my ears with it’s sound.
The dullness […]