“I guess everything happens for a reason. With love, goodbye.” These are the last lines found in the suicide note of my close friend Melissa Cameron who died nearly five years ago. Melissa and I were close friends in high school with a common struggle, we both suffered with extreme depression and thoughts of suicide, and although our friendship was originally formed on much lighter principals, it quickly turned into a relationship based on secrecy and what we considered to be “support.” Due to our suicidal tendencies, sharing ideas on different ways to kill ourselves became normal conversation, and we eventually made an agreement that […]
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funeral
So I’ve been fighting with depression through high school and so on, due to relationship troubles (or the lack thereof). But after graduation and freshman year of college was where it nearly killed me. (Twice.)
Winter quarter, I met the love of my life. Everything about her was perfect, except for her abusive family. She would cry in my arms each night, telling me horror stories of her childhood and adulthood. Months passed, and we helped each other through the days. Around Valentine’s Day, she hadn’t spoken with me for three days, so being the idiot like I was, I thought nothing of it.
Until I got […]
Not depressed coz somebody died. He was old, never knew him well, he was my paternal uncle, he barely cared for his own kids let alone me.
I braved my social anxiety to attend the funeral. I had an idea what it would be like, and I’m not sorry I went. I was dreading being asked what I do etc. That didn’t happen.
No, I was a part of something, accepted and my presence unconditionally valued as I am a family member and this branch of my family are very keen on family.
It was a nice short service at the crematorium, and there was no God stuff, […]
the other day i started planning my funeral i wrote evrything down ….i just need balls to actually end it
You never came back, you said you would but you didn’t, and I guess it’s more fool me for ever thinking that after all that’s happened you would. But they said have faith, in time you’ll see, he’ll come back. But time was of the essence, so I took it upon myself to come find you and even tho I thought I never would have I did. You were happy and I saw that which only made it worst. Cause I was miserable. Couldn’t you see what you’d done to me? You made me want you so much that noone else would do. So […]
No one has the big picture in mind. It’s sad. Everyone is preoccupied with their little pointless material things and pointless humdrum routines to really look at what happens after everything is gone. What will you have left? Where will you go?
I guess I’m still pretty mad over what someone said to me. Someone I never expected to say such a thing. That if I end it, he won’t go to my funeral because he can’t glorify someone who does that to themselves. I never once asked for glory or sympathy. Only for an understanding ear. Maybe to be talked out of what I want […]
I guess lonely is the right word I’m a 24 year old male and literally nobody cares about me. All I want is to talk to someone . I hate my life.. I hate me. I really hate me. Â I just want it to be quick I’m slowly losing my sanity cuz my daydreaming.. Or fantasy world is the only place I’m happy I know fucking pathetic.. I’m not good with pain and I don’t want to put my fan through funeral expenses like just feed me to the gators. I just don’t know what to do
I put this gun to my head
I pulled the trigger I’m dead
i drank the poison
to break from my prison
baby my blood is frozen
you tried to make me revive
because you want me to survive
its to late you said your goodbye
the fault is all mine
I call your name
but to you this is all a game
the scars of time never fade
all this pain that you made
the cuts cover my wrist
i never got to rest
take my blade
give me life that you made
i scream i dont want this anymore
it all sinks to my core
you come to my funeral as i beg you not to cry
i really did try
i told you […]
Why do I bother? Why the FUCK do I even try anymore? After spending a few days in the psych ward, I would have thought that things would be a little better. You are just as goddamn selfish and self-absorbed as you ever were! What if I HAD killed myself, you *****? What would you have done then?
Would you go to your goddamn aerobics class instead of going to my funeral? “That’s how life is, and you just have to get over it. Stop letting every little thing bother you. You’re just like your daddy, I can’t talk to you!”
Maybe because all you ever want […]
A couple of months ago, when I was a hair’s breadth away from ending it all, I prepaid my cremation and paid off my credit card so the executor of my will would have no unexpected bills to pay before ordering my assets distributed.
Posters here from the UK and possibly Australia and NZ will recognize this as the hymn tune for I Vow To Thee My Country, played at the wedding of Diana Spencer to the Prince of Wales and again at her funeral. It was her favorite hymn.
This version has different lyrics and is better known in the USA. The tune is by an […]
My father died when I was 9, cardiovascular issues. My stepfather went to prison for 15 years when I was 12. My mom has struggled ever since to make ends meat. I’ve never had a father figure growing up. My grandfather has had various heart open surgeries, he’s had cancer and now I’m Seeing signs of amnesia. He can pass away any time of any day. My mother has a couple issues, she just found out her cancer tests came out high. I don’t know what to do in life. I dated this one girl, Shannon. I thought she was the one for me. She […]
Whether you want to be buried, cremated or idk, what would you like your ideal funeral to be like? (Assuming you’d want one)
For me, it’d be small and intimate. I’ve told my family one million times, I’d much rather be cremated. I think it’s cheaper and more environmentally-friendly. No viewing, in my opinion, would be necessary. Just remember  me the way I was. Nothing fancy.
Ideally, I’d like my ashes to be thrown into some body of water–which one? I really don’t care.
How about for you all?
i think everyone goes through everything in their head before committing suicide. How everyone will feel and how everything will be afterwards. I guess I’m finally on that stage. I have nothing else to think. Anything that pops into my head it’s to get away from everyone. Stop hurting people I love. And to leave the people that dont need me anymore. I dont have a purpose here. Who am I kidding? I just haven’t committed into really leaving because I want to be here to see everyone else’s reaction when I’m dead. When they’re in the funeral. To see the trueness in people. Now, […]
Would you come to my funeral? What thoughts would go through your head as you gazed at my cold, pale body? Would you feel bad about everything that you did? Would you miss me, years later when you’re married and have a family of your own, would you even remember my name? Would you cry for me? Do you miss me at all? Is there ever a piece of you that wishes you hadn’t made the decision to cut me out, freeze me out of your life? Will my name ever drift into your mind, years from now? Will you even know why?
Really sucks when you tell your family that you are suicidal and the first words out of their mouth is “you’ll burn in hell”. WTF!!! That’s the furthest thing from my mind when i’m holding the razor blade to my wrist. She did not even ask me why I want to do it and still hasn’t. That was over a week ago and I saw her today and told her again my suicidal urges are growing stronger. Even told her about my dreams I have been having where I go to my own funeral after I commit suicide. Still nothing. I am not telling my […]
this question seems too obvious I know..but i am just too curious..
i have been thinking “then what”?? for a very very long time. Every ones gonna die, may be today, tomorrow , 10 years later..IDK.. and when you die, would you like an elaborate funeral, and memorial??
I am a Hindu Brahmin and we have an elaborate funeral rite that extends over an year, plus elaborate commemorative services every year hence forth.
you can read about it here, if you are interested:Â http://in.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090820093602AA3uumz
And I wouldn’t care less about whats gonna happens to my “body” once i am gone. I don’t want an “elaborate rite” .. they can […]
   Something that I’ve learned recently is that when somebody very close to you passes away, the process of grieving that we human go through never really goes away and it can come back at any moment and smack you down hard.
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    On July 24th 2008, the day after my 23rd birthday, my dad was diagnosed with ‘Small Cell Lung Cancer’ and it was devastating to my family. He’d had a pain in his shoulder and when he had gone to the doctors they suspected pneumonia. With the confirmation of cancer, he was told they could not cure it but could prolong his […]
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