Everything is my fault it seems , I can’t be happy for more than a two hours , I’m giving up , I push everyone away so they won’t get hurt when I’m gone , and maybe by making people hate me it won’t be so hard . I’m giving up and I’m counting down the days . I can’t wait to be free from everything I can’t wait to be somewhere where I can be happy . I have given up and I have set my mind . I hope I can help others I hope one day people won’t be so sad that […]
Tag:
Giving
Did I plan on being dead by now? Yes.
Am I ready? Yes.
Then I got the phone call. A shot at a job in my field. I have to take it.
It was easier when I could add up all the pain. The lifelong depression, the disconnection from relationships, the alien-like quality of being in my own body and mind, and to top it off: my career at a standstill.
It made it perfect timing to leave.
This job won’t make me happy. I already know the routine. Nothing will ever make me want to live.
But if I get this, maybe I can muddle through a little while longer […]
This feel like giving up I am in my late 30’s no wife or kid’s no career . I gave up on love then I fond the girl of my dreams every thing I always wanted . It was like finding a female me . Tells me she never going anywhere and were going to have a life together then she dumps me because of a mistake form past and a dream that I would hurt her. Tells me she had to many issues to be in a relationship . Then only to find out she started dating a buddy . That put me in […]
Depression
Depression is not something easily understood. It drains the life out of you. You just fall and can’t get up. It requires so much for you to stand up, specially by yourself. People can lend you a hand but it’s just that they’re out of your reach. Depression is not funny or cute. It is something that consumes you. It takes over you and you feel like you’ve lost control.
Anxiety
Anxiety is not something you can understand just by learning about it. It is something that you have to experience in order to understand. It is fear. It prevents you from doings things. Making friends. […]
Imagine your mother going upstairs, into your room and finds you dead, hanging from the ceiling fan. There is no going back. You just wanted to end the pain not your life. You hurt everyone that ever knew you. You didn’t just end your pain, you gave it to some els. It’s not just you that are wanting to end your life. Now it’s your younger sister or brother that you have passed these thought down to. They start to cut.. last week your mother found your goodbye letter, she unfolds it carefully while tears are running down her face. After she reads the letter […]
Look into my eyes,
What do you see?
Look into them hard,
Look at the real me.
Empty and dark,
Spirit is dead.
Feeling the numbness,
Inside my head.
Heart cold as steel,
Heart cold as ice,
Giving my love,
It paid the price.
The heart it beats on,
Keeps the body alive,
Demons inside me,
It’s where they thrive.
The struggle goes on,
Goes on each day.
The fight comes to an end.
In the coffin I lay.
I am 21 years old. I work at walmart because I failed out of three colleges and can’t go back. I live at home with my mom, stepfather, brother and friend. I’m single and have no on I can really talk to. I’m still in love with my ex even though she is over me and back with the girl she kept leaving me for and breaking up with for me. She can’t make up her mind I guess. My mom is my best friend and her and my brother are the only reason I haven’t tried to kill myself. I don’t know why I’m […]
It’s a shame that it had to be this way
It’s not enough to say I’m sorry
Maybe I’m to blame
Or maybe we’re the same
But either way I can’t breathe
Either way I can’t breathe
All I had to say is goodbye
~Secondhand Serenade; Goodbye
I can be tough
I can be strong
But with you
It’s not like that at all
~Avril Lavigne; Wish You Were Here
And I will swallow my pride
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye
~A Great Big World; Say Something
I’m sorry I wasn’t enough
For you, for my friends, for anyone
I didn’t know much […]
I have now concluded the first chapter of my short, indecisive life. The gates to all the winding paths, that had once been closed off to me, have been destroyed and now just their ruins remain isolated in my memory.
Only my body has the power and strength to take me where I am destined to travel. My mind is forbidden to make any more choices. I will not let myself depend on anything but the simplicities of life and the natural beauty of the untouched and untainted wonders.
I now walk whatever path I happen to find myself on, without any pretentious guidance and […]
This is a long story, but, I’ll tell it. I’m 15 years old. I tried suicide numerous times. I am obsessing over a girl. You see, I started liking her in last year, and it started out as a physical attraction. Then, it turned into something else. The school year ended. Over the summer, she was all I thought about. If I was out with people, I didn’t care about what was happening there, I cared about what this girl was doing. I stayed awake most nights thinking of her. The next school year came around. I asked her out, she rejected me, of course, […]