Depression hits you hard in the face its like a hard slap. However hard you try to not let it get you down it still will and it will drag you harder and faster down that deep black hole, people will tell you how easy it is to get you out the hole and that life gets better but ive been a good person yet still nothing good has came my way im just gonna be alone all my life and no one should give a shit because im not a person anyone should waste their time on i just need to leave this awful […]
Tag:
gonna
….you have to kill the person!
I’m in so much pain and it’s only gonna get worse.. there’s only one way it will truly stop.
Idk how I’m gonna keep going at this rate
I’m gonna try and make/keep a pledge this winter to not feel the cold loneliness of winter and the holidays. Of course I will feel lonely, but I want to try my best not to make excuses to why I’m so lonely, blaming it on the cold and the holidays. I don’t want to be desperate for some one else to be there. I don’t want to provoke sympathy from others by claiming “the winter’s are so lonely, they are the worst”
I want to make a pledge to be strong and endure, unshaken. I won’t let my mind be taken over by the cold […]
Your eyes are always so red and tired.
You were the one who taught me Endurance, but one day, the bottle’s gonna be filled up. There’s got to be a limit.
Aren’t there times you just want to scream, to shout and to throw things around?
How long can you stand, how long more can you endure?
Spending all my time trying to find my feet and then I lost my legs. Look at me like where’s the happiness, but if only I can grow it like hair I’d be all in this. Don’t look at me like my woes reproduce like lice, standing over me like you’re Jesus Christ. Nail yourself to someone else who needs saving, or walk on water if you like, as long as you walk away.
Because I don’t need release from this..no need in letting go..the meaning in between the seams are splitting just to show you what I know. If I find it hard to sleep tonight, […]
Could someone please talk to me? I haven’t been myself in awhile now and I don’t know what to do. I suffer from a form of depression that destroys my relationships with family and friends. I am sad. Always. I bring people down when I try to talk to them about my sadness. They have family and friends and children and they are happy. Then I come along and tell them how sad I am. They try to entertain me but after awhile they don’t want to hear it. My parents call me selfish when I tell them I’m thinking about suicide. They tell me […]
Tonight, I had a close friend to me decide that he hates me. He decided I wasn’t worth it anymore, and he told me to f**k off and kill myself. I’m not gonna lie, that hurt me terribly. I wish I could just disappear and never come back. I’m feeling so guilty.. What if I really am the problem? I’m starting to think I’m the problem. I mean, can you blame him, our anyone else, for walking away from me? I’m a *****. I’m stupid. I’m pretty ugly too. I’m fat, I’m mean, I’m prudish, I’m snooty, and I am a terrible person. I’m a […]
The ‘no harm in trying’ spell no longer works to motivate me. I think of my failures, how it became almost constant, and I just lose faith in any light of hope.
Now, there is ‘no point in trying’ at all. Everything isn’t worth it anymore.
Living in a country in which the majority of its people has very little, if any, empathy on ‘suicide’, I really don’t think killing myself is gonna change anything. People do not care.
I’m stuck. So badly. I just can’t go on.
Even the dog wants me gone. I heard growling last night & found her staring right at me through the window & growling! Plus every time she sees me she cowers, like I’m gonna hit her. I haven’t done anything except block her escape holes.
The friend has now moved in & I am reduced to staying downstairs, eating muesli bars for dinner, simply cos there’s not enough for me. Not enough food, not enough room.
Oh & those who are wondering, I managed to plead to stay for another few weeks. Not that I think it’ll do me any good.
I’m scared to die but want to.right when I’m about to down some pills I think about what’s gonna happen after and chicken out. I’m NOT Christen so I don’t believed I’ll go to hell for doing so. But were do I find the strength to kill myself?
I need to get help for my manic depression for once. Always been scared of seeing a doctor but yesterday I finally see its only a short time before I completely become useless. I’m running out of time. I’m a 32yr male.
Please, if you can.. tell me your experience with manic depression, what your doctor told you and treatment and your opinion on the whole experience. Please tell me as much as you can cause I’m so scared to be put away. It’s gotten so bad and starting to literally get out of control.
It has to stop or I’m gonna just kill […]
I often found myself on this site, in my darkest days when i’d thought i didn’t want to live anymore. I have tried to kill myself 3 times by overdose. I just can’t describe the feeling i have to anyone, i literally battle every single day of my life with suicidal thoughts. Next year i will be 20 and i have never felt loved by anyone in my entire life, sure i have a boyfriend and to the outside world he probably seems caring and loving, yet somethings missing. I have told him the way i feel and the things that i feel would make […]
I had an epiphany today. Sitting in my geometry (or geography… Maybe it’s geology. I really don’t know) class it came to me; I know how I’m going to die. I’m gonna call some local dive bar up (because what will transpire shouldn’t be witnessed by anyone under 21) and tell them I’m a Romanian Gypsy magician called Bogdan the Mysterious, and am come a long way to teach the wonders of the gypsy people to the west. Once they give me the ok, I look for 8 willing midgets and a trained juggling bear to participate in this once in a lifetime opportunity.
When the […]
So they blocked this website at work. I’m not sure if they saw that i was visiting it an inordinate amount daily or it’s a coincidence. I can’t really look at it as often as I’d like.
I stayed home today. but I called in sick, showered and ate so I think i’m doing pretty good. I’m not letting things fall apart but I don’t know how I’m gonna make it tomorrow.
I feel stupid. I’m a bit ashamed of my sadness but at the same time I want to be out about being sad and sometimes suicidal. I hate the stigma. the fact that I’ve used […]
Its days like this I feel almost human, almost visible, almost a part of life. Days like this, although its too early & I’m on a crowded bus, I don’t want to die. I want to live & enjoy life. But I have to remind myself that this is only a fleeting glance. I am cursed, in pain, unlovable, poor & soon to be homeless. & that is not gonna change.
Yeah well I’m gonna be the first and I’m going to alienate some people here, but we, in Australia, just lost a visionary in Gough Whitlam. Wow, what a mark he left on our land and our consciousness. He was a visionary and a reformist. To some he made have tried to do too much but what a legacy he left in just a short time. Not many people get to do what he did and I personally want to bring his achievements to this site. Please explore this great man in Australian politics. Few get the chance to make their mark…he did. Vale Gough […]
This is my last post, if everything goes well (or horribly wrong, depends on how you see it I guess).
I’m gonna end things this week since some events happened that made me realize the more I prolong things, the worse it’s for me and everyone around me who have to deal with my sorry ass.
I haven’t told anyone but I felt I should just post a little something here. I don’t know.
Anyway. I hope you all the best, whatever the best means for you.
Goodbye
School is like literally stressing me out and making me feel alone and depressed. I’m not gonna graduate High School, im about a semester behind, my counselor said it already, maybe there is hope for me to graduate, she said, maybe. I’m wasn’t born in the U.S. and I got all the permits from the Dream Act and if I don’t graduate, then they’ll strip them away and throw me back to the country I was born in, although, I was born in Mexico, The U.S. is my home, I was raised here, I came here when I was 4, im 16 now (17 in […]
well i think my best “friend” i think hes gonna tell everyone that im “gay but im not gay im bi so yea i will lose a lot of friends ???? i hope everything goes well i will only give 1 day tommorow monday to see how people will react
if they hate me oh well ill just kill my self and then ill haunt them maybe…. Middle school changed me i now where only kind of dark collors i hate it yeah help me
HELP ME
HELLPPP MEEEE
-brian mejia r.
you say you love me and are gonna come get me as soon as you have your own place… but I’m scared it won’t happen and I miss you and you still don’t have a phone and missing you kills me,makes me wish I were just dead. what if you’re just saying that? all I ever am is hurt. now I have first love telling me he loves me and I’ll always love him but I just need you. I fucking need you