Tag:

gonna

Last Group Meeting, Director Pissed Me Off

by Lovebug4142 8/18/2015

written by Lovebug4142

Today was the last day of my teen group. All the kids for all the groups went to ZDT’S. It was fun, hanged out with my squad. Did this support group help me with my self harming and drug problem? HELL NO. We never talked about anything like that, I basically wasted every Thursday since June making friends. I became really close with the transport driver, she thinks I am a great singer and a very pretty young lady. She understands my problems and talks to me. I’m really gonna miss her.

Since today is the last day I’ll see the transport lady, we both wanted […]

8/18/2015 0 comment

Sleepless Nights

by CRiticalthinker 8/18/2015

written by CRiticalthinker

I have been laying her for at least 10 hours. I thought it was gonna be an easy night. But of course the voices in my head say otherwise. I look at my dog in envy as he just lays there. I wanna go to sleep. I haven’t had a dream in soooo long. Maybe one day I will. One day it will just be a really long dream that’s perfect just for me. Or is that what heaven is? Maybe on days on earth is just a nightmare and when we wake up…Or what if its just some type of limbo where its just […]

8/18/2015 2 comments

I’m back after 72 Hrs of Insanity!

by wndozh8er 8/15/2015

written by wndozh8er

So I got my beer on Thursday. It was cooers light so it wasn’t as strong as I wanted. Around midnight, I decided that I’m gonna see if I could commit suicide by train. Drunk, I walked to the railroad tracks then headed right down them, waiting for a train to come. My love was on the phone with me the entire time. I fell several times during all this. With no train in sight, I began sobering up enough to were I didn’t think I could go though with it and decided to go to my dads instead (which was on the way). I […]

8/15/2015 5 comments

Shit mother

by Rose Valdeth 8/11/2015

written by Rose Valdeth

Mom:

You ruined my life! Every single day a part of me hated you so much no matter how loud of a laugh you caused to escape my mouth. Your religion opened my eyes to open mindedness because I would never wanna be such a close minded hating Christian like you. I hate myself most of the time because that fact that I’m gay I should be “ashamed.” I must be going to hell some day or at least that’s what you think right. I am going to hell because I was born admiring the same sex and decided to follow a path that is more accepting and […]

8/11/2015 4 comments

I’ve Tried Today

by Sev 8/10/2015

written by Sev

Today, i’ve tried to hang myself…
I think i’m gonna try again once i’m drunk enough, i don’t know if this is a cry for help…
Or maybe is just a warning… Fuck it
i’ve tried, i think i’m gonna hang myself in a sheet…
i’m drinking right now, smoking…
today i’ve used 1,5g of coke…
i’m feeling like i don’t have a place here, i think i am a problem…
no one cares, i just want to die…
i don’t want to be a deception anymore…
i’m sitting here for hours and crying… sip by sip… cigarette after cigarette…
my neck hurts from my […]

8/10/2015 5 comments

Well then…..

by whatevr2800 8/10/2015

written by whatevr2800

I have no one. I’m left with my pathetic self and I can’t even manage to commit suicide. It gets harder everyday, and today was the last day that I was gonna let it be. My chance was stolen though, because I’m weak and stupid.

8/10/2015 1 comment

back in my city

by kills 8/3/2015

written by kills

thanks to mark. big ups to this man. he knows im good for it and gonna hit him back as soon as i can. no worries. anyway now i got nowhere to go here. i mean nowhere. gotta figure this shit out. goddamn.

8/3/2015 2 comments

Sobering up unfortunately, still no validation

by wndozh8er 8/1/2015

written by wndozh8er

Welp I wanted more alcohol but my Aunt the Conqorer said no! I had to get 1 12 pack of cooers motherfucking light. Since alcohol is the only thing that brings me joy, it’s very important to me to get drunk off my ass at least once a week. She is also controlling my xanex intake, which I use to sublimement for alcohol,

I tried to explain to her that I no longer want to live and gave up. I told her this many times before. She said, “well if you would have killed yourself in 2009, you would never have met your wife”. Well she’s […]

8/1/2015 25 comments

My story

by isj032 7/31/2015

written by isj032

Just thought I’d share my story, I’m not gonna be overly dramatic or emotional as I am very logical and rational for the most part, I am going to go off in a million directions and you will almost certainly think me bonkers before the end. I’m not asking for help or empathy, in fact I hope that what I put down on this webpage helps shed some light on others problems and the problems society faces on a whole, sounds a bit haughty I know.
Diving right in, myself, my eldest brother and sister engaged in some somewhat sexual activities at the ages of […]

7/31/2015 3 comments

What are things anti suicide people say to you that piss you off the most?

by wndozh8er 7/28/2015

written by wndozh8er

I been suicidal for over a decade. I talked about it often with people but luckily was never institutionalized. Here are some of the things people said that got under my skin –

1. “Give your life over to God” – ok first off I’m a hardcore atheist so that doesn’t work. I was also severely depressed and miserable as a Christian as well so going back wouldn’t change a god damn thing.

2. “If you commit suicide, you will go to hell” – wow really? Is God that evil as to torture someone for all eternity because they wanted there sufering to end? Again I don’t […]

7/28/2015 20 comments

Third attempt failure

by wndozh8er 7/27/2015

written by wndozh8er

last night, in a desperate and drunken attempt to end my life, I tied extension cords around my neck about 10 times, tightening them, hoping they would cut off blood supply to my corotid artery. Welp, just like last time guess who da fuck showed up? That’s right! My aunt. She just happened to be down in the basement and knocked over something, then went into my room to say she’s sorry. Then she looked at me and removed my blanket to see I had cords tied around my neck. At least she was cool enough not to call the psyche ward. I went up […]

7/27/2015 1 comment

Suicide

by MentallyWeak 7/24/2015

written by MentallyWeak

I think about killing myself every single day, and I don’t think it’s gonna go away. I think about where I would do it, how I would do it, and who is even worth leaving my last few words for. I just don’t think I’ll make it passed high school anymore, I will be dead by then. And the thing is, I’m okay with that.

If my friends and family woke up one day and found out that I killed myself. Would they care? I don’t feel like they would honestly.

7/24/2015 7 comments

Salt, what kind of frosting do you want on your cake?

by bayareaguy 7/16/2015

written by bayareaguy

So….Salt and I both had 3 days of hell, back to back. I think when he fell down the hole, I was still kind of connected to him. Through this site, we both found ways to hold on, because, believe me, during my time in hell last week, I would have blown my brains out if I had a gun….and some of you know how anti gun I am…so what does that tell you?

Now for the corny part: I truly believe the only way we are gonna get through this life is if those of us who understand the weight of our illness are ready […]

7/16/2015 7 comments

My last moments…

by Rotted_Flesh 7/15/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

just going to sit on the beach by the lake.. be there around 4:30 AM so there isn’t much people there. Going to watch the sun come up one last time, have a drink or two, and my Remington will do the last of work. Goodbye, I’ve finally fucking grown the balls to do this, farewell and to all those struggling I wish you the best.

ps. Sorry for whoever finds my corpse. I know it’s gonna look pretty fucked up. I can’t help it.

7/15/2015 11 comments

The stresses of being different.

by alonelybird 7/13/2015

written by alonelybird

Everyone always gives me such weird looks whenever I talk or do something. I just say stuff, it’s a constant stream of shit. All because of my anxiety, talking just saying anything is a coping mechanism. People think I’m fucked in the head and they’re right. My actions are also mainly from anxiety, me constantly freaking out and just doing/saying different things because I don’t know any other way to cope except for drugs and self-harm and they’re probably not too good(?). I think I’m gonna flip out tomorrow, I can feel it, it’s not going to be a good day. I kinda feel like […]

7/13/2015 7 comments

Breakdown

by Undead101 7/11/2015

written by Undead101

When I think, I think way to hard, I think so much that, thinking is all i think about. I think about how everything is just, just a veil to the real world. I see the world in all that it is. People think that when you die you go to an eternal paradise if you follow a few rules and accept Jesus Christ. But in reality. (that’s the world i live in) When you’re brain stops working. You stop being you. You have no soul. Its just you’re brain and how you think. You just sit in the ground and rot. But if you […]

7/11/2015 0 comment

The truth is….

by cheomah 7/3/2015

written by cheomah

Im scared. Im so scared of death but at the same time I want, I need to die. Theres no purpose for me in life. My grades are droping in school, cant sleep or concentrate on anything. IM nothing more then a ghost, 3/4 dead and im scared im gonna break( if I haven’t already.) and then ill be gone, 6 ft under. I most likely wont even make it to 16, I wont have a husband or have kids. why? Because im a goddamn coward. It would be so easy to just give up, no more pain, or depression…

7/3/2015 1 comment

Wow

by Rotted_Flesh 7/3/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

Effexor really does kill your sex drive which is fine by me ’cause it’s not like i’m getting laid anyways. It kinda masks the loneliness feeling away, I don’t even care about being with someone. But seriously trying to jack off takes like 40 minutes and sometimes I don’t even cum o.o. This is on 75 mg a day I wonder what it’s gonna be like when I’m on 225 lmao.

7/3/2015 5 comments

I forgot how to human….

by Sammi6xoxo 7/3/2015

written by Sammi6xoxo

I’m just gonna go curl up in a ball under a blanket in the corner of my bed. If anyone cares to join me, you better bring some chocolate milk and a fucking donut and be prepared to cuddle for a few hundred years because I’ve sprung another leak in my left eye. I’m sick of the appointments. I’m sick of the pain. I’m sick of going through this alone and I Want nothing more than to swallow a fucking bullet… Every conversation with my worthless father is like pouring salt on an open wound. I know I’m not good enough, but can’t we pretend […]

7/3/2015 18 comments

I always make sure

by Rotted_Flesh 7/3/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

I go running everyday, lift weights, and try and eat healthy because from what I’ve experienced nobody likes a fat fuck. Healthy body healthy mind I suppose. Effexor day 1 so good so far, noticed a slight increase in motivation and energy, could be a placebo effect I’m not sure but I definitely feel more content. The next few days are gonna suck balls thought ’cause no boooooooze :(. Glad I got benzos to help me get to sleep from this fucking stupid ass withdrawal.

7/3/2015 1 comment

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