i let everybody down.
my arrogance is to blame.
my over confidence,
as well as the disillusion of actually being able to excell at anything that would be useful.
what am i now?
nothing.
i have done nothing worthy of note
and yet i have managed to convince all who know me into thinking otherwise.
i am not intelligent
i am not good at sport
neither am i good looking or funny
i am the definition of a disappointment.
i will probably achieve nothing with my life.
I have come to terms with my lack of real importance
as well as all who i have […]
Tag:
good
Thank you guys to support me.. But i couldn’t help myself and i am ending with all hopes with my life..
Just need some courage. I am shivering with sweat on whole body. The cutter in hand falling down. I wish i will get successful on the way of hell or heaven. I wish i would have live more with my love. I really wish. Please god make me die in his arms.
I dont know what to do, I have really bad mood swings.. ups and downs.. cant controlhow myself.
Last year, I tried to get help by a psychotherapist because of that and because I have bad anxiety, couldnt go into a little bit crowded place without wanting to cry out of panic and feeling (but not doing) I’ll pee myself, but I realized that the therapy wasn’t helping and I am the only one who can help my self and so I stopped going there. The Therapist doesn’t seem to understand me. Getting that fact and starting to meditate, I really felt like I got myself […]
I smoke to forget. I drink to forget. I cut to no longer feel what it is I want to forget. I sleep to get away. I want to get away for good.
This is going to be a long post. On Reddit it would be referred to as an “epic” post, but I don’t know who to talk to about this anymore. My friends are sick of my depression and the drama inside my house, so I guess I’m left venting at anonymous individuals behind a keyboard.
A little bit about myself. I have a hard time making friends and meeting new people. Maybe I wasn’t socialized enough as a child, but I’m an introvert. I also suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder, which is pretty terrible, not going to lie. I have an intense fear or hurting people […]
Everybody always says that’s committting suicide is the wrong thing to do, but what if it’s actually the right thing to do? What if that’s how we make it to somewhere good after we die? Maybe after people die naturally they don’t go to heaven or wherever you go because they didn’t kill themselves? I’m just saying this and I know some people might disagree, but just think about it. What if suicude is the right choice?
Everyday I think about killing myself and I think I’m coming closer to doing it. But maybe it’s what I’m supposed to do. I’ll at least be happy.
http://youtu.be/RhNH1QfO9fE
Whitby wassup!?
Here I am. Only an hour away from Toronto. So far so good. All I need now is more fuel and food and fuel and fuel and fuel and FUEL and I’ll be good. Trolololalalala. HAHAHA HARHARHAR MUAHAHAHA. Ok. Where did that come from? Anyway. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Went on a tinder date. Get this text message afterwards:
Hey. I just wanted to say how great of a person you are. You have a strong personality. You take on and take over quickly. With that being said I must be honest with you. I was having a great time but it was too much too quickly. I enjoyed it but I’m afraid this sort of relationship that we’ll likely develop is something I don’t want. I’m sorry I was too chicken shit to tell you in person but you are very nice and I couldn’t bare to hurt your feelings. I hope you […]
Third Post
just wanted to thank everyone for their kind words. You are all good people I’m sure. I’m checking out tonight. Hopefully it will be peaceful and go without any problems. I’ve reached my official breaking point. Be cool and Semper Fi.
How the hell can I do this for another 30-40 years? Working job after job to support this joyless life. Once I outlive my usefulness at this office I’m at now, I’ll have to start the process all over again of finding full-time work. And then again once that job ends. And again and again and again until I drop dead. I’d rather drop dead now and save myself the trouble of spending all the good hours of the day pushing papers and moving boxes and photocopying and etc.
Been reading up on jumping and it’s becoming more appealing everyday. From what I’m reading, sounds like […]
It’s strange how someone you would least expect to have suicidal thoughts, actually does. I’m one of those people, I have no reason to be thinking like this.. I’m a good guy (I hope), I’m nice, respectful, have a few good friends…
Unfortunately for me, although no one thinks I have, but I have come to a complete turn around emotionally. I feel like I am worthless, like no one cares.. I feel alone, even with my friends… It sucks, I’m someone who’ll put on a façade and act like everything’s grand, whilst on the inside I’m completely mangled, and because […]
Before i say much of anything, I feel like I’ve got to make something clear: I dont want help. No, maybe I dont feel as if Im beyond help, but honestly at this point Id rather not hope that things will get better. Plus, oh unlikely reader of mine, there are better people on this site who actually deserve your help. Good people. Hurt people. People who wont give up as easily as I have.
Its been a while since Ive been on this site. A couple of months, perhaps. Definitely a few months since Ive posted or even commented. I suppose the reason is […]
thanks to mark. big ups to this man. he knows im good for it and gonna hit him back as soon as i can. no worries. anyway now i got nowhere to go here. i mean nowhere. gotta figure this shit out. goddamn.
Someone once told me that in order for me to move on in life I have to let go of all of these emotions that are keeping my hostile. So here is my story, that will hopefully help me move on and let go of the past so I can be happier. Including a photo might be my way of letting it all out there my own way. idk ………
I was feeling down today. So I made this account & I suddenly didn’t feel so alone. To know that there are other people out there that I can relate to comforts me in a way. […]
I really fucked things up with my friends and they won’t ever forgive me. I feel extremely bad with myself for what I did and feel I can no longer live with myself knowing I did the things I did. I don’t have a good relationship with my family and there’s no one left in my life so I contemplate suicide because no one would be affected by it anyways since not even my family cares.
Since my father has heart problems and my grandma had trouble sleeping I’ll take all their pills and swallow them all at once so I can finally put an end […]
My life is complete shit. People love to say they give a fuck but as long as I can remember I’ve had a bad life. I’ve been abused molested bullied then I was finally a cool kid in hs but nobody knew I always was super depressed at home and I would do drugs and drink to cope but my mom never cared what I did. Then I dropped out of school….my mom never protected me from being molested she always turned the other cheek just like my sister even tho it’s her husband who did it. Then my mom said she didn’t want me […]
Most people seem to value life all the way down to the stem cell and beating heart. As long as your brain stem is intact (as in the cases of Terri Shiavo and Bobby Kristina Brown) people seem to think that the “life” has value, even though they are in a persistent vegetative state. they must be keep alive at all cost our CULTrue says. Even when end of life “care” happens, also in the case of Terri Shiavo, instead of just injecting them with something you can give a dog when you put them down, they just leave them starving to death for 10 […]
Epiphany!
I was rambling on in the comments of Tristeza’s post when I finally hit bottom and realized why I’m so unhappy and want to die. The gist of what I was saying is that life is nothing more than a dream and that when we die, our minds are erased from reality permanently. All of the information that our brains are holding onto is erased when it shuts down for good. The person that you think you are (Tom, Dick, Jane etc) is little more than a function of the brain, and so when the brain dies, you die too.
As in a dream, I’ve […]
Hadn’t been on here in awhile. Hadn’t cut in awhile either. I guess I was doing good. But now I’m sinking.
I just feel like ITS ME! Everything that goes wrong is because of me. I’m always the guilty party. When I try so hard.
I tell ppl all the time that Imma fckd up person. That they shouldn’t be involved with me. I can’t possibly be anything good in your life.
It’s hard to explain.
such a good song. I think it describes a lot of us in here