In fourth grade I moved to a new school..I was heavier than most of the students there and they made sure I knew. They constantly bullied me n called me fat and said worst thing about me. My teacher even pulled me by my hair and threw me into the principles office. I always went home crying. After that year I moved schools. I made sure I worked out so I wasn’t as fat by the time 5th grade came, I entered that school (I left my grammas house n moved in with my mom) I made some friends but I still heard the words […]
Tag:
good
I have this demon, he lives inside me. He tells me that if i cut deeper and deeper , every thing that is wrong with me will go away.
The more i cut he says, the more it will leave my mind. He tells the truth, he is the one that helps me when no one else is there. One day I am going to be gone, but my demon will live on. Have yourselves a good night darlings~
I changed my mind.
I’m trying to cut ties from those who are trying to get close to me. I already have many relatives to mourn for me, but I’d rather not bring outsiders heartache when I free myself. It sounds selfish and heartless, but the pain I feel in my heart gets heavier each passing day. It makes more sense to isolate this pain in one specific group rather than have it explode out of proportion, even though that may happen anyway.
I live alone in my mind with my demons and I’m doing a pretty good job keeping them entertained. They shouldn’t know about these inhabitants, they will […]
Never in my 18 years of this miserable life have I ever wanted to kill myself this much
I set myself limits “if you can make it to then you can make it” but recently I’ve never been this depressed . I just want to end all of this , I’m no good at anything , even my own parents thinks the worst of me so what’s the point anymore
Well. Let’s face the facts babe.
you’re dead . cold.
softly floating in your blood. your eyes popped out of your skull like they were trying to reach out and strangle me.
and i finanlly undrerstood what had happened. i was not shaken.
i completely regognized the act of brutal savagery that was before my own eyes.
it did not strike fear into my heart.
only regret.the sting of regret that you didnt die slower.
that broke my heart. if i had one.
Most of the good people are not strongest,influential, powerful
All good people are salves to the system, watching it ruined by powerful
I would rather die than slavery
? Albert Camus
First option is good, instead of having a cup of coffee and thinking whether to commit or not.
I hate life everything about it I can’t honestly tell you something I genuinely like about it. Life hurts me so much that I’m afraid to even live it because I know the pain will come. Im afraid to let anyone in, to love, to trust, to believe. Because I see things negative and I don’t think I can change that, happiness is temporary and pain is forever. I’m afraid that I won’t make it through the next branch of pain so I don’t want to let go of this one. I don’t want to be happy that way I won’t feel the pain of […]
Why do my days get worse and worse I never have anything good in my life ever and I never will. Any time I find something or someone that makes me happy it gets takin away from me. Why live my life everyday miserable and never actually live my life. Iv been alive for 22 years now but I never lived one day yet…. Why would I keep dealing with this? I have no one and nothing to live for. I’m meant to kill myself, I’m just too scared to like a coward I wish I can have the strength to just kill myself and […]
Well they put me on Seroquel. My jerk for a psychiatrist…..or should I say nurse practitioner says she’s seen a lot of good results from people on that medicine.
whatever.
Life. This never ending charade of lows marred by a few high points. Here I am once again and no, I do not feel good. I put up one heck of a fight but it wasn’t enough. Rather it was against the wrong opponent. I slaved away, hacked every piece of work to tiny shreds and earned my vacation. Achievement? Yeah probably but it did nothing to make me feel better. Quite the opposite, my slaving away left me in an all too common spot in life. All the friends i had graduated and because i dedicated everything to work. I turned invisible, uninteresting again. […]
I’m walking down the line that divides me somewhere in my mind. Don’t get too close it’s dark inside, it’s where my demons hide: drink until they stop screaming your name. I’m down to my last drink, time to sell my things. Pack my bags and never look back. Run a parallel line with the railroad tracks. Make my getaway. How the hell did it end up like this? Why wasn’t I able to see the signs that I missed and try and turn the tables? I would stand in the wind, I was free like water flowing down under the warmth of the sun. […]
I didn’t ask for any of this. I was born and my path was thrust upon me. I am not looking for your approval or sympathy because I simply no longer give a fuck. I hate people. I started out as a kid does; Innocent and gullible. I didn’t realize that I would be despised by family and friends for recieving gifts that I DID NOT ask for. I don’t believe in evolution but I am not religious in any manner. I was probably the MOST DEPRESSED PERSON on this site a few years ago. I have been here a while… I hate life and […]
I hate people. I hate living and I hate existing. No matter how much good you do for folks? EVIL always has the upper hand…remember that…evil always wins…for now.
Hello again,
So I’m beginning to understand why people post here. It makes you feel less crazy. So thank you for making that available. Anyways… the pressing question I have is more of a story with a question. I was in the hospital a month or so ago and they had psychiatrists come in. They told me if I ever felt like hurting myself, I suppose suicidal thoughts would be in that category as well, to call them or come into the emergency room. I was.. inquiring if I should actually call. It’s probably a good idea.. but I don’t really feel I want to. Anyone […]
By now you might have seen on the Internet the story of one “Jeremy Meeks” who has recently gained a reputation as “Hot Felon.” He has been the center of much attention after his mugshot was released showing what many consider to be a very attractive face. The purpose of my writing here is not to take a shot at Mr. Meeks. I hope that he will receive whatever punishment his crimes are due, certainly that he should repay his thefts, and other than that I have no concern towards him. It is what this man’s story has revealed so clearly about our deranged and unjust society, which I take interest in. My blood does […]
Does anyone ever feel like the only enemy they ever have to worry about is themselves? Like seriously.. The mirror is the only real opponent. You stare at yourself in it, and then you just pick out all your flaws. Sometimes, on a good day, you can see some good things but other days all you can see is the things you hate the most about yourself and you wish that change were possible.. Of course then changing you’d hate the person you became then..
Ever feel like your mind is trying to kill you? Like you just hate yourself and everything about yourself? Like you’re […]
It hurts to love people that don’t love you back. To give everything you have to someone who wouldn’t hesitate to throw you away. But worst of all to be ignored because you are so insignificant to anyone in this world. But alone is how I’m used to ending up people always come and go and I’m tired of being the type of person that gives a shit. I want to not give a fuck I want to be the person that leaves that is horrible to people. Those are the people that have good friends that would jump to save them, they are the […]
I am perfectly aware that this is a stupid post but who cares? Is it bad that I listen to music about suicide, rage, and good ol’ depression. Should I listen to “happy” music or should I continue my current listening habbits?