It sucks truly.

“letting them go” often feels like neglecting the most important thing you’ve ever encountered, which is profoundly difficult. It also feels like giving up on what matters, which is something most of us are trained to never do, and for good reason.

Often (as with most people) their “wishes,” are rooted in misguidance, misunderstanding, fear, or even external manipulation from others.

If you truly love someone, will you just stand by and allow them to be deceived?

I didn’t. But it turned out that it was too late, and the brainwashing was too effective, and the fear too deep. She had already decided to never understand, so there was nothing left to explain. I tried to free her, but she had grown accustomed to her cage. She chose temporary security over freedom, truth, and reality. But i suppose i can’t blame her. She also chose deliberately devastating actions and behaviors… and i will always blame her for that. If someone repeats the same destructive actions, after they already know they’re hurting people who don’t deserve it… it’s unforgivable. This is a principle i cannot allow myself to surrender. It is the truth. We should never tolerate that… but so many insist and even rely upon the fact that most of us will. It’s a shame.

When we are made to fear, we have a tendency to surrender our freedom for protection. Unfortunately, this is a well-known vulnerability of humans, and has been exploited by the domineering and privileged, for millennia… which is why we have the world we have today. Those who offer protection in exchange for compliance, are often the same ones creating what we most fear, from which we would want to be protected.

We are all raised to believe the world is and/or will become, something it never was or will be. We are deceived and misguided, intentionally, into behaviors that keep us locked inside psychological prisons… and even that keep others locked inside their own. And if we break those false constructs, we often find ourselves faced with physical captivity, imposed by threats of violent force.

I think, alina, the best thing you can do is accept that the person you feel that you love(d), no longer exists, and/or perhaps never really did. It was a fantasy, manifested by parts of reality misrepresenting themselves, or perhaps being misinterpreted by you (with their help, of course). Whatever the case may be, that person doesn’t exist, and the one who stands in place of that, is neither worth your time, nor worthy of your consideration. You can’t give him credit for being who you wish to reclaim, because he isn’t; it was only a mask, a set of behaviors worn like a costume, like playing a character in a movie. That movie ended when he stopped playing that role.

But i absolutely agree: do not allow yourself to grant consideration to someone who has proved they do not deserve it. Give nothing to those who would take. Give only to those who would reciprocate. Do not allow parasitic draw from others: selectively distribute your energy among only those you deem worthy of receiving it. Work on refining your methods of rapidly and reliably discerning who is or isn’t worthy of your time. In other words: never stop refining your better judgment. Always work to better your own judgment; that’s what “better judgment” means: better than it was 5 seconds ago, or how ever long it’s been since the last time you employed it. Don’t let squatters occupy your mental space; they’ll never pay rent.