Its been a year now since my wife and I seperated. We have two beautiful children whom I adore very much. I moved here almost 10 years ago from another state after a string of failed relationships. I met my wife and married her almost eight years ago. It was great in the beginning, but first come children and then financial worries and somewhere along the way we began to grow apart. She left me for another man and when that didnt pan out she still felt she was better off without me. Now I have to work constantly to pay my bills and give […]
Tag:
good
I often wonder if listening to depressing music is good for me by giving me something to hold on to or just serves to increase my sadness. I remember, even as a teenager, preferring that kind of music to the more upbeat and cheerful tunes, I listened to both but the darker lyrics seem to speak to me much more than any other. I remember a tune that really got to me back then, the lyrics about loneliness and isolation touched me and hearing it twenty five years later, they still do. I’ll continue to listen even if it has, perhaps in a small way, […]
I stand looking at myself in the mirror and what do I see….?
One bloody mess.
I hate everything I see….
I seem…. so unreal to me
….I’m in utterly disbelief….
Hands bloody…arms bloody… face bloody….
the blade is my best friend and my lover.
We go together like ice and vodka..
I feel I’m in hell… I’m tormented in this shell..
I slice open, watching my flesh strip away…
While my mind goes into a relaxing place….. I feel good now… well almost… let me go a little deeper… almost there!…just a little deeper…now I’ve climax into one unemotional mess… now I hate myself…For […]
Just thought I’d poll thoughts about this.
No note could create legal problems for others (i.e., wondering whether someone had a poisoning motive). The absence of a note may leave others wondering, which may be good or bad.
Leaving a note may be a means of providing reassurance or useful instructions. (I’m not talking about the kind of note designed to blame and hurt others.)
Thoughts?
I am a certified genius.
that’s a good thing and a bad thing.
I am a constant danger to myself. I know exactly how my body ‘ticks’. and I know how to make it stop ticking. I don’t need no knife or revolver I am able to use anything except the air filling my lungs. I have been planning my departure for almost 9 years now. escaping pain in it’s various forms.
heartbreak, impending failure, shame.
I was doing great for about a year. Started seeking PTSD treatments but unfortunately not a lot can be done at this point. So I’m taking my life tonight.
I tried my hardest and had a good run. See you in hell.
Good luck to everyone else on here. Live like I couldn’t.
I’m out. 🙂
You know, I honestly think of ways to die every single day.. Ive come up with probably hundreds of ways and thought of olaces no one would find me.. I cant do it because I have little lives to take care of and if I dont, they will have no one… My husband literally just left me.. Like an hour ago.. He called to tell the kods he loved them..which is great.. He is a good guy.. I am at a loss for words other than when will it end? :'(
Well, I’ve been off my med (200mg Zoloft) for three weeks. Cold turkey. I was on it for both depression and anxiety.
The only difference I notice is that the physical symptoms of my anxiety have returned. That trembling sensation in my hands, nausea, sweating, flushing, etc. Anxiety levels and depression levels are the same.
Withdrawal effects were pretty tame. Nausea, head aches, dizziness, emotional lability (i.e. uncontrollable crying/laughter at odd times)
Hmm probably should go back. The physical symptoms of anxiety are a ***** and they are mostly visible to other people which is not good and in turn makes me more anxious.
Post some movie names here that made you feel good or something inspiring. Here is my list:
1. The Dark Knight + The Dark Knight Rises
2. The Odd Life of Timothy Green
3. The Pursuit of Happyness
4. It’s kind of a funny story 🙂
I overdosed about 3 months ago and was involuntarily baker-acted. That was when my family became aware of the magnitude of my bipolar type II disorder.
I have battled with mental illness most of my adult life. Things have gotten worse.
I am about to turn 50. I had a successful career where I made very good money. I worked in publishing, an industry that is all but dead. I had a nice house, a couple of cars, a boat. Things weren’t perfect, but they were OK. Then I left my job to work from home on my wife’s business, and take care of my newborn daughter. Long […]
I’m sitting behind my desk, IT employee.
For the past week, I’ve been resisting an overwhelming urge to put a bullet through my head.
Today the urge is very bad. I had quit smoking a year ago and starting last week i’m smoking again. I’ve been up 5 hours an I’ve smoked a pack already.
I’m at a point where I need to talk about this but can’t find anyone to talk to, not even my fiance. We’re getting engaged next week.
My heart keeps beating rapidly and I’m visualizing myself pulling that trigger and that bullet would go into my head and turn everything off.
I’m doing well, good […]
I don’t exactly feel a whole lot anymore. About anything really. I don’t feel anything for myself one bit. I feel quite a bit for others who have pain but I always treat myself like shit. I know I shouldn’t but I’ve been doing it for so long that it’s just kind of natural for me to do it. I don’t even realize I’m doing it most of the time until others tell me to stop being negative or that I shouldn’t say such things. Eventually they make reasons for not being able to get together and then they stop calling all together. Leaving you […]
this is part of my exposition  do you think what i have written sounds alright this is about suicide for my SACE subject……..
Thirdly feeling like you have nothing good in your life left. Even if the statement isn’t true and you can see the good in there life they cant the bad has over ran it
I guess the days are painful. A type of pain that will never go away. There is nothing I can do about it. Nothing that anyone can do about it. The pain will never stop. I cry for help, but there is no point. The pain will never subside. The more I beg my mind for mercy, the more in punishes me. The mind is powerful, finding enjoyment and release in the most painful of things. The splitting and burning sensation of ones skin, the self inflicted pain creating such indescribable pleasure is frightening. The pain is good.
     “I’m sorry.”
Dear mom, I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment. I’m sorry I can’t get good grades. I’m sorry I can’t love up to your expectations. I’m sorry for not being successful.
Dear friends, I’m sorry I can’t keep a long term friendship with any of you. I’m sorry we lose connection for while. I’m sorry I never stayed. I’m sorry for pushing you away.
Dear people at my school, I’m sorry I don’t fit in unlike you do. I’m sorry that I’m weird. I’m sorry that I don’t look as pretty as most girls do.
Dear myself, I’m sorry I was ever born, I’m […]
Hello everyone,
heres my story. I’m bipolar but more so depressed with a side of pathological lying. I’m afraid of what the future may hold for me. I’m 26 unemployed, living at my parents house. I can’t afford to go see my counsoler and psychiatrist. I don’t have a penny in my name. I’m afraid to leave my parents house at some times. My girlfriend left me and good thing to. I did end up going crazy and tried offing myself. I sent my ass right to the psych ward and got out in four days. I’m scared that if my life continues the way that […]
and any other positive feelings. Not because I dislike positive emotions, but because I know they will not last long. And once they are over, you’re off even worse than before. It’s like life is constantly trying to show me how happy I could be only to smash all these hopes on the next occasion. I know the same thing is used in sleep deprivation where they let a subject get close to falling asleep only to wake him up with a slap in the face. It’s torture and forbidden with good reason.
My brain is naive enough to fall for the trick every single time. […]
Im not a perfect person ,
Awkwardly so much of my advice i wish i could listen too . Ironic rite huh .
I have what most people want .
Friends , Family , Popularity , A Boyfriend Who loves Me ,
But yet no happiness
I was raped last year by a guy i thought who loved me
Meanwhile i went home to my brother who beat me ,
This illusion that i put is so dumb
No one knows the real inside pain i suffer
Or how i really feel inside
I have bipolar disorder ,
The meds make me tired , but i can never sleep
I […]
I am a strong person. I am 27. I tried to gut mysel, samurai-style, ten years ago. I clinged to life and vowed to never, ever give up on life. On the way I found the peace of God.
My girl and wife-to-be left me after 2 years and a half. We couldn’t make each other happy, we couldn’t stop hurting and failing each other. She was perfect in ways many cannot imagine: beautiful (a german model), sweet, bright, spiritual. Good cook. Good friend. Good lover. Loved me to her core, was there always for me. Perfect. I thought God was speaking to me through her, […]