He finds himself sitting in the neighborhood bar drinking a beer at about the same time that he began to think about going there for one. In fact, he has finished it. Perhaps he’ll have a second one, he thinks, as he downs it and asks for a third. There is a young woman sitting not far from him who is not exactly good-looking but good-looking enough, and probably good in bed, as indeed she is. Did he finish his beer? Can’t remember. What really matters is: Did he enjoy his orgasm? Or even have one? This he is wondering on his way home through […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Can’t even describe how I feel right now. It’s so new. Not sad or angry or scared or hopeful. At peace? I don’t know. Maybe it just hasn’t really hit me yet that I’ve decided to do it. The reality of being dead. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or if I should try to reason with it. Feeling detached would definitely make it easier. But is my fear just laying dormant for now?
This website is comforting. When I come here I feel like I can say my most painful thoughts and nobody judges. Maybe nobody even cares, which is fine as well. I just like someone to read my words without any judgement.
I don’t even know if this website is healthy for me to come to. But when I feel like I’m about to explode, I come here and feel a little bit more calm.
Let me tell you something. I have no idea how to be good at life. No idea what so ever. I applaud people that are good at it.
Been a busy week and weekend saying hi to all n hope u have a great sunday any good horror movies good to watch?
My life has never been good. I was abused as a child, it got really bad and i feel like it has caused brain damage. I find myself forgetting a lot of things i cant remember names or important information. The thoughts that i have can not be properly translated when i open my mouth to speak. I honestly sound like an idiot. I have also been sexually abused and I am told it’s not a big deal because it happens to everyone so i have to get over it, it replays in my mind every single day and that might sound like an exaggeration […]
Various Thoughts:
1) I’m coming down with a cold/flu thing, and have a sore throat.
I tried the important time-honored therapy known as “To hell with it, I’m having ice cream.”
And yet my throat is still sore, so this is going to last a few days.
2) I also am sneezing and sniffing, so apparently ToTrees and I will both be going (*sniff sniff*) for awhile. This is ok. I’m in good company.
3) Add all the other muscle aches and unmentionable disturbances that come with cold/flu bug […]
Sometimes I feel guilty for feeling the way I do.. I have a good job, good car, people who care about me. But I’m still not happy! And never have been. How pathetic is that? There are homeless people, children starving in Africa, someone dying of cancer right now begging for just another day. And here I am wishing I was never given this “gift” of life, I don’t see the point in it. I often think about suicide, and the only reason I don’t do it is because of my brothers, I don’t want them to feel pain. Idk if that’s selfish or selfless.
Anyways, […]
I don’t really know have much of a direction for this post in my head, no horrid incident or crazy profound thoughts, just stuff that runs through my head.
Do you ever wake up and you feel so empty? Not even like sad or upset over anything in particular. You just feel like nothing at all, you just feel so tried that you don’t even know how you’re standing. That’s how I’ve been waking up a lot lately.
I feel like everyone has something they’re good at, something they’re smart about or something they have a passion for. I don’t enjoy anything, I don’t have a talent […]
http://suicideproject.org/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/B00ZBBHI1M_disc_1_12_-_Song_For_Josh.mp3
My favourite musician is a chap called Frank Turner. He wrote this – ‘A Song for Josh’ – after finding out that a good friend of his had committed suicide. Josh was a member of the security team at a venue in New York which Frank has played numerous times. It’s all the more poignant because this live recording was made at the same venue on the anniversary of his death and adds an additional layer of emotion which you’ll hear in his voice as he sings.
It’s not anti-suicide rant or anything like that, but more of an ‘I wish he’d just talked to […]
So why continue? I’ve heard all the bullshit in many many years of treatment, but the truth is, it really does only get worse. At least when your brain hates you. If I’ve already lived as much as I can given the circumstances, why would I keep going only to experience pain. Those rare moments of fleeting pleasure? That’s not enough. I don’t really feel it anyways. I can play the part, act like I’m enjoying myself, but in the end, I’m empty inside, and theres nothing that can fill it. I’ve made it before, gotten exactly what I thought I needed to make me […]
Broken phone. Broken body. Broken life. Broken relationship. He was the one thing that was good in my life, however deep his problems were too. I didn’t want to say goodbye, but my fate won’t allow it. My body is so broken, there’s not much time.
Howdy. It’s highly probable that I’ll be dead within few days, so I figured I might share my cool ass story with you, but halfway through I realised that it’s not like somebody cares or that I care I’m being cared for.
So, to anyone passing through, have a good one. See ya (nope).
I am not in a very good place and was wondering if someone was out there could talk?
What if, we are all angels, mischievous angels, and indeed bad angels punished by God? at the beginning Lucifer lead the revolt against god to over throw him and take over right? Well what if, when God won and cast all the angels who sided against him out of heaven they landed on earth, striped of their powers and wings, and their memories of heaven removed and thus started humans? and the really bad angels, such as Lucifer and his Dukes were sent down further to hell. Now God being merciful gave the angels a chance at redemption and those who live a good life […]
I wasn’t planning on it, but come to think of it tonight is as good a time as any. I could do it and not be found for long enough for it to have a shot at working.
I’ve been considering death for long enough that I know it isn’t a passing fancy. I also know that 2am is not the best time to make impulsive decisions with permanent consequences, but I thought to myself before that the only thing between me and death was the selfishness to stop caring about whatever effects my death will have on the people I leave behind (funny how inconsequential […]
My counselor told me that I need to spend time with people, that I’m alone too much. So I’ve been trying to spend time with people, people at school, people at work. I’ve been planning stuff with buddies and spending a lot of time with people who I can call buddies. The problem is that I still don’t feel right. See, before this I was always down and depressed and alone, but when I wasn’t alone I would sometimes (rarely) talk about my pain to people who I kind of trust (I don’t trust very much or very often), and I would feel this connection […]
I know everything happens for a reason but I would like to know the fuckin reason
when I was 18 I lost a good friend of mine I alway wanted God/creator or the universes what ever u want to call it to take me instead I prayed that we could change places cause I know I ain’t shit and I going to be shit 8 years later I’m more suicidal and I’m still here suffering more and I know my friend would of done more with hes life I still don’t want to be here but I feel I don’t have a choice
do u think it’s […]
Since 2003 when I was 16 years old I’ve been wanting to die. I prayed for death to bring me peace almost every day since 2003.
I wanted…… no, I BEGGED for death to come to me, but death has been avoiding my call all these years. The reason why I want to die is because my health, both physical and psychological are fu*ked up beyond repair, and on top of it all I never had a single friend nor a girlfriend in my entire 28 years of existing.
Now comes the unfair part, and this really pissed me off when I found out about it.
There […]