hi, i’m not a good writer, so i’ll just lay it out. Â im 32, ive spent the last four years busting my ass to get into grad school. I have always been depressed, but I don’t remember much from before my dad died. Last may I found out I was gonna have a son. In Sept my mom died. In Dec my baby was born. This semester was a blur, but I managed to fail the GRE, get rejected from grad school, fail a critical class, but I managed to walk with my class back in may. My aunt has just been diagnosed with […]
Tag:
Grad School
Hello to anyone who is reading this. I am confused and I feel so alone, even surrounded by loved ones and co-workers. I am a well-educated 24 year old female. I have a science degree and took too many psychology courses to count, but somehow I still can’t seem to get my head sorted out. I’ve never really suffered from depression or suicidal thoughts until a few months ago and lately it’s all I can seem to think about. I’ve lost interest in all my formerly beloved hobbies and I have lost my appetite. I find it so hard to pay attention in grad school […]
My whole life I’ve been told that I was smart. Smart enough to do anything I wanted. I would be the one in the family to go the furthest and make everyone proud. Well, here I am, about to fail my first class in grad school. There’s no way out of it now, save death. The final is Monday, and I know nothing. Every time I try to study I look blankly at the slides for about a half hour, then cry for an hour, then I’m so exhausted all I want to do is take a shower and go to sleep. Everywhere I turn […]
I try so hard to get my life back on track. It seems that whenever good happens in my life something 10X worst follows: i just can’t get a break. I don’t really have any friends, I’ve never had a girlfriend nor could I ever hope to future with one since I started going bald and became impotent at 22 and now I’m 26, even cialis doesn’t work. I’m studying a field that I’m not passionate and nearly flunked out my first year. I did better my following years but it will nearly impossible to get into grad school. I still live with my parents […]
I am a shell. I have been dealing with depression for about 4 years now, and it has eaten away at me till there is nothing left but the corporeal person you may meet, or not. I consider myself dead most of the time. I finally started to come to that realization after my girlfriend left me. We can call her Elizabeth. She was the one who initially saw that I needed help, real help. She convinced me to go out and seek medical treatment in any form. She wanted to stay with me and grow old together, but that required me to live to […]
I feel like I have reached a wall where I have done all that I can and I don’t know what else is left….I have not actively pursued death but did almost die; I almost drowned and it was an accident and left me a bit shaken I can’t help wondering if I might have been better off dead.
I had a dog for 12 years and my dad took him away from me and had his friend watch him. They said they would take good care of him…and they did alright…first they claimed he disappeared and the next he was in the river but everything […]
I would like to think myself a normal girl.
I know how to be happy, and I have been, and I know it’s possible to be again. I just don’t know when.
I go through cycles, every time I’m heartbroken, I try to take my life. I quite possibly do have borderline personality disorder.
The last heartbreak was half a year ago, and I can’t seem to get over it.
This time it’s different. I don’t think I want to recover. I don’t want to be heartbroken now, and I don’t ever want to be heartbroken again.
I can’t handle it.
I’ve overdosed 4 times already, been hospitalized 6 times in […]
I have a lot of things. I have a lot more than many people.  I am healthy, attractive, happily married, and just about to graduate from a great grad-school. I have everything to live for, but I every time when I turn around the corner, I see death calling me. I really cannot think about anything that I want bad enough to live for. Tonight I relapsed. I took a needle and pieced through my skin and my veins. For a brief moment I felt something. When I saw my blood oozing out of my arm, I felt maybe a brief moment of something.  I know exactly what […]
I am a college student majoring in engineering who is about to graduate in May. Â I have been feeling very suicidal recently because I just got rejected from two different jobs on the same day. Â I have been applying to jobs since August and have been a few interviews, but then have been rejected. Â I felt that these past two jobs that I interviewed for were kinda the last “straw” in terms of getting a job before graduation. I feel like a failure and I am not sure where to go from here. Â I feel pressure from everyone who expects me to get a job […]