I was sad for a long time after being out of a 5 year relationship with a woman who I deeply loved. I still haven’t found anyone yet, not near who much I adored my ex. I’ve slept with other girls and went on plenty of dates where woman have been interested in me, but I didn’t feel anything. I went on anxiety medication which didn’t help. Running was my savior but with starting school again, I have been stressed which has led to me drinking again (running took me away from this and my depression). I really have nothing to be depressed about anymore. […]
Tag:
great
it seems whole life is the procrastination of one single moment of nothingness, when lifes shows itself with it’s full absence of meaning. soon it will pass. and how does it pass will always remain a mistery. maybe we’re just so obsessed with meanings, and so willing to impose an identity and causality to the great plurality of existence. our stubborness is the very origin of our anguish.
but how can we accept the pluralism of existence, if our own words just arrests us into the everlasting nostalgia for an other world?
i just don’t know.
the question is what the fuck did happen with my life for […]
Have you ever thought of yourself as pathetic. I have too many times. Here I am, good life, good parents and siblings, good house, good school, and yet, I lack soooo much willpower. Will. I just have no will. Why do people with such screwed up lifestyles and in such screwed up situations be so awesome with great personality, character, and drive and I’m just here… No drive. I’m just so pathetic. I wouldn’t commit suicide due to feeling guilty towards my parents, the people who have looked after me, and all the people trying so hard but in such screwed up situations, but seriously… […]
I genuinely believe that some people don’t belong in this world. This atmosphere is just too much for us and we need an escape. I am one of those people that just isn’t meant for this environment. I need a different way and I think heaven would be so great. I know it would be great. I just wish I had the courage and strength to go there.
it sucks having no real friends 🙁 I love all the people I meet in the internet, here, but at the end of the day we are alone. I live in a big city and its depressing. everyone has a great life and knowing I don’t its depressing. my so called friend called me a ‘deppresive person’ . I told him my story and it seems he doesn’t understand. I feel so alone. suicide I want that that carbon monoxide. im thinking about it over and over again. what do you believe after death? what are your beliefs? I’ve been told suicide is sin and […]
…lots of bullshit cant trust my girlfriend shell see this probably as she often posts on here she hurts me when i trust her i care about her so much ive always tried my hardest i dont understand how she can take advantage of me im slowly losing what friends I still have, struggle is becoming more stressing always tired can’t think clearly always radical thoughts even for my standards I hope I make it through this year to reach my road to glory this is just a prologue to the true great story
I’m currently sitting at my desk catching up on SP and had a giggle at the earlier addiction post. There were some funny/entertaining posts by some great regulars.
Then i switch to news. Com.au and the real world is fkd. I see heart breaking headlines of shootings, oppressed north Korea, typhoon, angry mobs, transgender murder, isis blasts ancient temple, zimbabwe lifts hunting restriction and so on.
Such a depressing world.
But I’m glad i got sp. Here i can believe in the goodness of humanity.
Okay so I’ve always been able to see futuristic events in my dreams. My great grandmother could, my mom could and now I can. Here lately my dreams have been very foggy.. I keep having the same dream just the time and place is switched around. I’m having dreams that my soon to be husband is cheating on me or just deciding to leave me. I’m always even in my concise mind afraid of this actually happening. I’d talk to him about it but I’m pretty sure he’s sick of hearing about it. He tells me every time he only loves me and […]
So where do I even begin? Well, I signed up for this website so I guess I should explain why. Currently, I am not thinking about suicide, but I have in the past and fairly recently thought about how I would do it, why I would do it, who I would hurt and so forth, and then I realized that if anything happened to me, no one would know why, so here I am. Telling all of you what I can’t tell anyone in person.
I’m 15, I turn 16 in three weeks. I have a job that’s pretty mediocre, get good grades, I’m what you […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aYX8XMFsXmQ
adagio for strings is the shit.
dj tiesto is duh shiz.
brno philharmonic orchestra is THE shytz.
mix that all together and you get the shitz of all shytakki mushroomz in one elegant masterpiece of fluffy cloud evanescence. <– not entirely sure what that is but the words sound really great together (:
I made my first post yesterday, which really helped me, I feel. I was afraid everyone was going to tell me I was stupid and didn’t belong here, but that’s not what I heard. It was kind of nice, talking to people who care, even if they are strangers. Every other time I tried to talk to someone I knew I received a reaction and response that made me want to kill myself even sooner. People here actually took the time to read and even respond to me.
I don’t care if you read my post or not, but you must have read someone’s post here. […]
I met up with my little brother in Victoria today. Fuckin’ cool meeting of the great minds. He’s been goin through some intense changes himself but im glad to see he’s pushing through and making necessary changes. Such a beautifully intense conversation about our current transformations. I’m finally embracing my trans identity and confronting and riding the emotions head on. Such a beautiful freedom. Scary as fuck as I fight my inner judgments and christian past. Fuck it. I feel it, I’m going to do it. Transgender is a fuckin’ gorgeous thing. Such a heavy burden to bear if filled with self hate and fear. […]
So you see, I used to have this boyfriend. He was practically my savior. He was the reason I didn’t commit suicide the first time. But he was one of a kind. He took interest in what I liked, he always supported me. He never pressured me and he was fun. He not once mentioned anything passed kissing so it never got awkward between us. He legitimately cared. Then one day he tells me he has to break up with me cuz of his father. Now here’s my problem. Everything reminds me of him and I still love him and miss him. All week I’ve […]
i wish i could get hit by a car. if i die then then great but if not i could get a clue to see who actuallly cares. ive had so many fake friends that ive completely gave up on being social. i avoid talking to anyone at all costs. my dad calls me anti social in a joking matter but its true i guess.
Today was the last day of my teen group. All the kids for all the groups went to ZDT’S. It was fun, hanged out with my squad. Did this support group help me with my self harming and drug problem? HELL NO. We never talked about anything like that, I basically wasted every Thursday since June making friends. I became really close with the transport driver, she thinks I am a great singer and a very pretty young lady. She understands my problems and talks to me. I’m really gonna miss her.
Since today is the last day I’ll see the transport lady, we both wanted […]
I was about to answer Sui_RC but I felt like making it a post instead because I felt that it could maybe help other people here.
Hi, from what I just read from your older post you are telling us that you feel useless. I understand that, you feel like the world would be the same without you. But I also saw that there is time where you laugh, I’m not going to tell you such a thing as ‘’live for the happy moment’’ that would be disrespectful of your wish but let me tell you something: if you can smile with others that mean you […]
when I go on here and voice my thoughts and feeling, everyone is accepting, and it’s wonderful. No one freaks out and calls an ambulance to whisk me away to the hospital. no one tells me that I should ashamed of thinking about killing myself. They understand and it’s wonderful to know that I am not alone. No one I know has had even close to the same thoughts that I have everyday. they on,y get sad when something sad happens. it’s not a constant thing inside their bones.
Today, was terrible. It started off with me being lied to. Then that lead to me doing something terrible because of that lie. Next, I went throughout my whole day thinking that was a great thing I did. After school, I got a text asking why I did that terrible thing from the person I did it to. I asked about the lie and they said it wasn’t true. Then, that person blocked me, and I really needed to say more to them. Then, I figured out that I did that terrible thing for no reason and my crush, hated me. It was terrible and […]
There must be some way to control your state of mind. Sometimes I get adrenaline rushes and feel like nothing matters and feel great, other times (like now) everything feels heavy and depressing. basically I am suffering because I can’t stop looking at suicide as a tragic event that will hurt everyone badly, including myself. How can I make it so I stop looking at it that way and instead develop an adventurous/relaxed and eager mindset for suicide? I want to stop feeling the intense guilt, regret, melancholy, and anxiety that comes with this. I’ve read and think lots of people here would “benefit” from […]
Im getting depressed of other people having great lives and succeeding. everyone seems so happy and its Friday night and im not doing much, well I cant. just needed to put this out, FB is bad for your mental health! I’ve been there. its a pattern that has to stop. otherwise I just sink in those black thoughts . why is it fair other peoples lifes are better? :/