I’m a little bit new to this whole blogging my feelings thing, but i can’t keep it to myself anymore. I hate myself, i dont know how or wen i did, or i think maybe i always have. I dont think ive ever been happy. When I was really little it was me my mom my dad and my little brother. I always try and remember my childhood as being happy and i’m always that one person to point out the good in any situation, but it’s time i tell the truth. My dad was a rug addict. my dad did crack and cocaine and […]
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High School Diploma
I feel like my entire life has just been one mistake after another. I’m fat, I have awful grades in school, I hurt my spine trying to lift weights to get less fat, I can’t do manual labor, it looks like I might not get my high school diploma.
I’m just so tired. So, so tired. I’m so tired of making mistakes and being a waste of space. I can’t work to help pay for college because of my spine. I hurt my spine trying to get less fat. I’m fat period. I’m so lazy I can’t even get good grades in school because I never do my […]
Hello, I’ve been lurking around this site for quite awhile now. Obsessively reading every post. I know I spelled serotonin in my username wrong, unfortunate really. Anyways, it’s 4:43 am where I live and I can’t sleep so I decided to post my experience with suicide attempts. I am not good with dates so it will be a unspecific measurement like a year ago or in January. I will be going into specific suicide techniques so…spoiler alert.
When I was young everything was easy for me. Sports, I was a natural, school was easy never had […]
I’ve tried before to take my own life, I was 22. Many things had occurred through out my life at that point all of which had been coming to a boil, my button had been pushed, death was the only way to escape.  Some may find it cowardice, but not me, it’s my life, the things in my life are under my control, and at the time I felt I had lost control of everything. So I decided I was going to take control of something for once, it was one of the lowest days of my life. I was having issues finding work, the mother […]
I’m exhausted. I’ve come to believe that there are people put on this earth that are meant to struggle throughout their lives. They are the ones that we look at in their 80’s and say…oh but she/he worked soo hard, did what they could, just couldn’t catch a break, but never complained, just went to work did what they had to do…. yeah well, I’m 42 years old, been divorced for 4 years now, I have 2 children remaining with me, my oldest is 19, has moved with his father and hates and refuses to speak to me bc of the divorce. I went […]