Is it possible for someone to never be happy? If so then I guess that’s me. I found out this morning that my debilitating autoimmune disease is non responsive to current treatment and will require much more aggressive treatment. To do so will require time off from work I don’t have and a loss of income. I can’t pay my rent as it is… I am drowning in debt and I ruined my eight year relationship with my anger and hatred… I am not eligible for help and have no where to turn anymore. I can’t be the reason my kids are homeless again. I […]
i really feel like shit. i cry all the time when i’m alone. i wanna cut, but i’m trying to stop for my friends and bf. i find it hard to trust people, bc all of them who have been broken promissis. i’m trying this, bc maybe it helps idk. but i have to do at least one thing to try to stop.
thx for let me share Xx
The goals achieved.
The hopes desired.
Last goodbyes.
New starts.
Eyes are tired.
Soon they wont remember me,
Soon words will be rarely exchanged.
Soon they will have a family with children with exotic names.
Soon ill be a memory to them, soon I will not even cross their mind.
It will all take place over time
I feel so alone, and each time I wish to scream “Don’t Go”.
But they will leave me even though i love them to the pit of my soul.
I know how it works, it happens each time.
But it just makes me want to desperately rewind.
I know how it works, it happens every time.
Even though i wish to rewind.
rewind.
rewind.
rewind.
I know […]
Our life is us
as long as we have our self we have our life
and as long as you’re alive we have a life
-uniqueRkw
BIPOLA:
Life comes to standstill
Life is meaningless.
You don’t existed.
You are too tired to try.
Hope is DEAD
Feeling eludes you.
Some say you are good as dead.
You don’t feel you deserve anything.
You lost the sense of belonging
You feel detached
You don’t care.
There is no joy,
No sadness
No frustration.
You are just floating around……
Stop caring about yourself
Grow tired of the people around you
That includes people trying to help you or understand you.
You just want to sleep and sleep
and never wake up.
Waking up kills your dreams.
I like staying busy… When I am busy my mind can stay off all the negative things in my life. But when the music stops and it’s quiet. I find myself all alone… My mind goes into a whole another world…
i just wanna pop the pills and take one too many….
i just wanna fall sleep and never wake up…
but i fight these thoughts every night in hope that one day things will get better. I pray they will get better because of they don’t I am not sure how long I will last… I am only human…
I´m total failure and I know my life is heading nowhere and I lived in endless hope, but now the hope is totally gone and I don´t want to live anymore in this freaking world .
Tonight is my final night
I bid you all farewell and hope you find contentment and serenity in this life
We shall meet once more in the afterlife
This is my final goodbye xxx
Well, I sure did put my 2.5 cents in today on many comments. I was inspired, for lack of a better word.
Whew. Apparently, a muse somewhere struck me with the writing bug this morning. Or, y’know, too much caffeine to know what to do with myself.
I will be gone for a few days. My mother’s memorial service is tomorrow, and I’m taking the rest of the weekend to remember and honor her. I’m sad she died, but I’m relieved she’s not suffering anymore. I know without a doubt she’s responsible for the events in the past two days. It’s my mother’s undying love […]
Yesterday, I got a package in the mail, but it was delivered to my aunt’s house. I went to her house, and when I saw the handwriting on the package, my knees buckled and the tears started to pour out my eyes.
It was my mother’s handwriting. My aunt explained before my mom died last week, she sent the package to my aunt because she knew she didn’t have much time left. It was postmarked 25 August 2014, two days before she […]
I just wanted to say that with today being my first day on here I’m glad to know I’m not so alone in these feelings… I truly hope we can all find happiness!
I watched the sun go down today
And I felt a surge of tears
With a sense of desolation
I was overwhelmed with fears
I saw my hope on the horizon
And I saw it fade away
With desperation I tried to believe
That there would be another day
And then suddenly I realized
That my hope was still there
It was just clouded over
With my feelings of despair
Then I began to wonder
Why am I still here
And in my own self doubt I saw
The creation of all my fear
In order to see the sun come up
I would have to search and find
been a while since i been here. hope everyone is doing ok, or at least staying alive. I hate having suicidal thoughts…but here they are tonight, first time in a while. im quite lonley, and i need a better job, or my gf might leave me. I already only have one friend. crap, im scared of being homeless,in jail, or dead. maybe as a 29 year old black male without a good job (although very educated) i have just seen all the good i will ever see in life? maybe…i should just take the easy way out. i hope this mood passes quickly.
All the mental and emotional stress hurts.
My body is starting to hurt as well.
I just hope the pain ends.
I can’t stop crying.
I just want inner peace.
Stupid, hopeless me. God, please have mercy on me and take me. I hate myself more than I can express with words.
I have made my “Danger, do not enter” suicide signs. I have what I need to carry it out. I am just scared. And I want to make sure that I’m absolutely certain that there’s really zero hope left, because my chosen method spares no survivors as far as I know.
But God do I wish we didn’t have that natural self preservation instinct that makes it all that much harder to carry out.
people always say that if you say you want to kill yourself you never truly will, i keep playing the words over and over in my head like a dare issued by a bully. i wouldn’t say its hope that stops me every time, its just fear. i’m a coward and i will always be. i know without a shadow of doubt that my life has no purpose. i used to belief that my family meant everything to me but ever since my mother become ill i have felt loneliness swallow me whole.
I have a specific day in mind to perform the last task. It’s perfect really, and essentially the closest day I can do it all on my own. 18th birthday is perfect, And although its 9 months away, I’m determined I’ll do it. The ups and downs I have don’t fool me into hope, cause ive experienced life and what I’ve felt is enough to make a decision. So from now until then my posts will be full of bs. Thank you
I don’t understand what you’re expecting of me,
your needs a bottomless pit.
Just because you don’t understand these feelings,
doesn’t make me a misfit.
I don’t wish you to understand,
this mind, it’s my own personal hell.
I’m scribbling down my note written in my own twisted fate,
hoping no one remembers to tell.
The rope, hung ever so delicately,
my last and final hope.
The knocking on my door loudens,
as my body begins to mope.
My last post about executing the plan, was a failure. I know I haven’t got enough courage to do it on that day, simply because I thought I had something to live for, or someone to live. I still do, but the urge is just more each day and I couldn’t find a way to resist it instead to just do it once and for all. My current situation is pretty bad, I’ve lost my job, my parents hate me for not earning, and I’m just rotting at home, but they have no idea how broken I am for letting them down. My parents are […]
” Here are some obvious things about the weather: It’s real. You can’t change it by wishing it away. If it’s dark and rainy it really is dark and rainy and you can’t alter it. It might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row , BUT It will be sunny one day. It isn’t under one’s control as to when the sun comes out, but come out it will. One day . ”