Stupid, hopeless me. God, please have mercy on me and take me. I hate myself more than I can express with words.
I have made my “Danger, do not enter” suicide signs. I have what I need to carry it out. I am just scared. And I want to make sure that I’m absolutely certain that there’s really zero hope left, because my chosen method spares no survivors as far as I know.
But God do I wish we didn’t have that natural self preservation instinct that makes it all that much harder to carry out.
6 comments
Death will always be there waiting,CT…if youve any idea whatsoever of what could make you feel better or even happy, then wait a minute..I wish you painless passage if you can’t wait…peace
I would feel better if that piece of shit who robbed me of everything of any value in my life, both monetary and sentimental, plus 30k to return my belongings and pay me back, which he makes empty promises to do every day, but I have to accept that isn’t going to happen. I can’t go on, not only due to the financial mess that I’m in, but because of the shame as well. He destroyed me. I explained in my previous post how and why. I hate myself so much that I feel like tearing my flesh apart and bleeding to death in the most horrifying way, tho that’s just a feeling brought on by self hatred. My chosen method is quick and hopefully painless, although I have read during my research that others who went the same way appeared to have thrashed around and maybe did not exit painlessly. I hope the thrashing happens after the brain loses consciousness. 🙁
Guess there’s only one way to know for sure…
It is the fault of the person who robbed you, he deserves a painful death… I am so sorry that he wont return anything he stole
Hjerteblomst yes, even if it is his fault for being a thief, I’m the dumb one who helped him with all those loans. I’ve isolated myself completely from my friends for almost a year now, because I’m too ashamed to let them see how stupid I was to be used this way. And not even by someone that I was intimate with. Just a human who was dying and in need. I hate myself.
CT,if you must,then you must but PLEASE ,dont do it in the misconceived notion that youR death will make this SOB sick and miserable for th rest of his life..It won’t. This heartless fuck will possibly have a short period of remorse,but itll pass quickly and then be relieved to be rid of the obligation to you. He is too selfish -as CLEARLY proven-to allow this to effect him very long. Have you considered what I said th other day concerning alternative plans ? I believe vengeance was one of the things…therapeutic arson is ALWAYS a healing experience-its foolproof for temporarily soothing your wounded spirit. I wish you would not let him kill you this way…you’re too kind of a human to lose-theres so few . Why should you die instead of him?! Have you considered exposing him in other ways..like writing out what hes done,and disclosing his name and address also,and posting it in various high traffic places online,or other places…If you must go,I wish you peace….i hope u send an email to your local paper detailing his crimes and your last feelings of despair due to him…at least others will know and hopefully it will dog him that way
did you forget our chats??? Your daughter????? What would she think about you doing this??? We discussed this already. You would devastate her. You know that.