About a month ago I OD’d on heroin and wound up in the hospital. Ever since I’ve been getting what I think are panic attacks, where I feel like I can’t breathe and that I’m about to suffocate. Even in A&E the psychologist didn’t take me seriously but I am seriously messed up… I’ve been waiting 2 months to see a psychiatrist after stating I was suicidal because she cancels the appointments but I can’t sleep for days, I have auditory hallucinations (hear people say things about me when they’re not), extreme paranoia and I’m afraid to leave the house. If that ***** has the […]
Tag:
hope
I’m a 19 year old college student in brooklyn and I’m amazed I made it this far but I feel like 19 years of life is enough. Over the years I felt like I was born to be hated for the color of my skin and my beliefs. I ask my parents, why bother having a kid, just to have him or her life doomed from the very start? I was raised from a christian background and not once have I found anyone to seriously talk to about any of my troubles for all everyone thinks is ” I’m just seeking attention ” or ” […]
I stumbled on this site quite by accident. It sadness me reading some of your posts so young to have to feel these things. Don’t get me wrong I know they are valid I was once told “what’s the worst problem you have breaking up with your boyfriend? ” which is a stupid thing to say because yes it is traumatic.
I ‘m 30+ with an amazing 3yr old and exhausting 4yr old who have opened my eyes to a love I never knew could exist.
as I’ve grown I have learnt myself like most did not have an ideal childhood I was 12 when I started […]
Highly unlikely…… I know. But I am getting creative at this point. I have heard their teeth are so sharp you only feel pressure and I would hope adrenaline would take care of the rest. I could swim alone at the beach at night and temp fate lol. Shark week is coming up afterall.
thinking of ending it. i hope this passes
Like all humans the boy had limits.Limits to what he could do.but also limits to what he could take and after all the time that had passed he finally understood one fact.He would always be alone.the boy had tried harder than most people would have…he tried harder than he should have….he gave up.he was done.he decided to not care anymore.he cut himself off.he showed nothing.that darkness in his heart had once again warped him.his face grew blank.no smiling.no more crying.nothing…he gave in to the lonliness.he kept it all inside.his feelings of pain and resentment and sadness…he decided to close them in his heart and pretend […]
Then I’m either gone, or I’ve gotten better and no longer use the site. I usually change this posts publish date so I haven’t been on for about a week, if you see this. I just want to thank all of you, for helping. And a special shout out to Shepard, keep on keeping on, soldier. I really do mean it when I say thank you. You’ve saved me from doing some really stupid things. And thanks for listening to me constantly complain about Alexis. Hope your leg gets better. Give them hell.
i constantly tell people not to hurt themselves or that their beautiful or worth something but yet i tell myself the complete opposite going through so much crap and yet i give hope to people but cant give it to myself. i could tell someone a million reasons why they shouldn’t kill themselves or hurt themselves but when i try and think of even one reason to stay here i cant. why is that?
I’m trying to endure, hope against hope, but the obvious is staring me in the face… nothingness, nothing really to look forward to, I’m alone. One night stands are easy and empty – I can’t cope any longer, time is drawing nigh.
I miss my sex drive. i hope i get it back one day. i dont want to live like this. my health problems make me want to kill myself.
Here it is,strangers
My 4 AM self hate,self pity,bullshit fueled story about how i have come to wreck my body and my life
and why i’m not going to kill myself over it.
My name is Daisy.No,I wasn’t born with it,but I prefer that over my dads choice of Jessica (My mom said my dad named me that after a porn star,but shes full of shit.)
I came into this world March 2,2000
Yeah,I’m 14 years old,still full of angst and meaningless arguments.
I grew up thinking I was normal,living in a house that looks like a hoarder who is almost recovered.I grew up thinking […]
Everyone’s moving on without me, into a world I don’t understand -sophie kinsella
Broke is a relative term, like sister, cousin, or Uncle Sam -jarod kintz
Most people who think they’re happy are really just stupid –Tok Kitt
“Dead, but not allowed to die. Alive, but as good as dead.” ? Suzanne Collins
Perhaps depression is caused by asking oneself too many unanswerable questions.
I’m too much of a coward to kill myself. And too much of a coward to live
Sometimes you just gotta hope for the hope of having hope some day.” ? Jeffery Thompson
“Maybe you think life is not worth living, but is death […]
If you read, I hope you find something… Just wanted to share. Namaste
by mementomori
written by mementomori
I just came back from an interesting night. A random camping night at the beach. Tho after some events the night seemed to be turning into NOT what I expected BUT it became more pleasant and peaceful than what I could imagine.
First it was the company, tho it was people I know, is not the kind of people I got use to do things with this past few years. So didn’t know what to expect. Adding to that was my “fear” of thinking of her again, miss her right there in the middle of nowhere, wishing she was there. Wanting her by my […]
I am at work feeling scattered and not quite apathetic just conflicted. part of me doesn’t care and wants to run out and leave and never come back. Part of me wants to stay because the work I do is important and does help people. Part of me hope an airplane crashes into my building and takes me out. Part of me is focused on the pain in my belly. Part of me is focused on my broken heart. Part of me is horny. Part of me never wants to be touched again for as long as I live.
Living is hard.
So I have never blogged before but I figured it might help to get some of this stuff off my chest.
Where to begin???? Well currently I am going through a divorce from the mother of my 2 youngest children and I have no one to blame but myself.
I love her so much but have hurt her over and over again throughout the last 6 years. I have been unfaithful more times than I can count and I deserve for her to leave me. I would have left me a long time ago. She is the most beautiful, patient and forgiving woman ever. She is the […]
…When someone posts and they never post again. I’m left wondering, “are they still here?” Everyone here seems like intelligent human beings with so much on their minds, to even think that one of them is no longer here is heartbreaking. Did they get what they want? Was it painless? We never really know do we? I’m not really religious or superstitious but I hope you guys are alright. Know that there’s someone out there who cares. Please stay safe, everyone.
I am at the point I have already done everything I wanted to. That is within my reach anyway. Hope? For what? I have no family and don’t want one, working is hardly a reason to stick around. That’s all I do.
I love the sand and sea, but not enough to stay and I hardly doubt they will miss me.
Even at the end of a dream vacation thoughts of suicide start coming back out of their hiding place.
I have tried shamelessly to connect and create a life for myself and it just isn’t enough. The only thing I am proud of is how […]
Hi guys,
I’m a 30 y/o male from the uk. Been suffering with depression for many years, mainly stemming from my upbringing. I’ve treated those close to me badly in the past, always pushing everyone away. I know my problems on here are nothing compared to others, but I feel I’m at the end of the road. I met the most fantastic girl 2 years ago and lived my life to the fullest with her. We was both so happy. But yet again I manage to ruin it, just like I’ve done with everything else. I’ve tried everything and hung on for as long as I […]
I am looking for a way to commit suicide easily but i didn’t find a way. there is always hard to find a easy way even for dying. Life never give us easy choices, Life is giving me hard choices live with regrets as a looser or die. are these only options or there is another option but i can’t see it because there is so much darkness around me. maybe there is some other way , trying to find new hope trying to push my self for keep fighting not to loose hope. every day i wake up for finding new hope and every […]