u all have become my friends here. i just want to say thank you. i am trying to get help, but i fear i may do something drastic before then. know that i gave life my all friends. i hope my girlfriend and son understand one day. im trying to get help, but i fear its too late.
Tag:
hope
I didn’t mean to do it but i did and i am sorry. It hurts but it makes me forget. I am sorry i let my family down. I promised them i would not do it and i did, I thought i out grew it but i haven’t. I thought i was strong enough but i am not. I am sorry Love you Brice, hope you can forgive me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=shdiTRxTJb4
One was watching the other day a red-tailed hawk, high in the heavens, circling effortlessly,
without a beat of a wing, just for the fun of flying, just to be sustained by the air-currents.
Then it was joined by another, and they were flying together for quite a while;
they were marvellous creatures in that blue sky,
and to hurt them in any way is a crime against heaven.
Of course there is no heaven; man has invented heaven out of hope, for his life has become a hell,
an endless conflict from birth to death, coming and going, making money, working endlessly.
This life […]
no more hope, no more words…
I’m not sorry…………………………
This is more or less a  suicide note that will never be read because I’m a ***** to put it simply.
But if I ever grow the balls to correct the mistake God, nature or what ever brought me made. But I wanted to finish this shindig on a high note.
And this is quite possible the first and last time I’ll ever mean this sentence.
I’m not sorry.
To the wonderful father I have and the mother that was never bad but I always resented.
I’m not sorry.
To my amazing family I do nothing but complain about because I can only hate someone who values me over […]
Lost all hope, lost all light.
Tired of living, lets end this fight.
I gather myself for my last stride,
I have no regrets, my sweet suicide.
You think it’s fucking bluff? I won’t do it? Ok, yeah, we’ll see about that.
People will run the minute you hope they’ll talk you down from something…but I guess not.
Fuck them. It isn’t selfish, especially if you deserve it. Motherfuckers. So mad my cheeks burn. Goddamn I want to just punch everything right now.
How does one find hope when having a terminal disease? How can one withstand all the pain it causes while knowing it’ll never end – only gradually evolves, gets worse and finally eats you alive? Is hope even a slightest of possibility?
Expecting a miracle perhaps gives something to keep one’s head up. But preferably person just has to accept the facts; this really was perhaps my unjustified destiny and the clock is ticking ever faster like it has for so many people before me. Fear, tears, a mountain of hopelessness and beside me a conjurer of never-ending agony and despair.
Where do those people […]
I have had enough. I am sick of picking up the mess of my son – time after time after time.. getting him out of debt, saving him and he is 26. I have just picked him up out of a drug induced psychotic episode and now he is throwing tantrums about not being allowed to smoke weed…… I have had enough. I want to live my life quietly and all the time he continues to snipe…….. tomorrow i will buy the razor.. I never thought I would but he has destroyed any hope of a life for me. I have none………….. and I actually do […]
This is one of those night I strated to think about future. What is ahead of me? I ended up thinkinging about hope. What is hope?
It means so many different things to so many people. For some people it’s about getting food to stay alive. For some people it’s about getting alive to a school or to a scrocery store. For some it means about getting through the everyday life, even you have everything you need. I’m one of the persons in the last group.
I have a family. Beatyfull and smart wife, two awesome boys. I love my family more than life itself. Â I have […]
When I first started feeling depressed and suicidal I didn’t go through with ending it all because I held onto the hope that things will surely get better, and I could find a way to fix everything. That was 5 years ago and I’m still waiting for things to get better …….
I’m running out of reasons to wait…
I made it through the day, even smiled a bit with a bit of optimism. Hope you all held on. Time to try and get some studying done. Best wishes to everyone.
If anyone out there enjoys The Hives, enjoy with me please.
Feeling pretty fucking awesome,
PURPLEPAIN
On april 15 i was on fb and my friend messaged me. “Before i take this bottle i want you to know i have always loved you. You were a good friend i hope you do well”
half skimming the message i wrote ” its been awhile we should hang out tommorrow and catch up on things and yor a good friend also” i had to log off cause the library was closing. The next day a friend called and told me that sheena had killed herself lastnight. My heart stopped and i didnt know what to say… Life blows and thats just the way it […]
Memoirs of Suicide
June 19th 2013. That was the day I tried to kill myself. Yeah. Not what you’d expect from a nice girl, right? It’s hard understanding what drives someone to want to kill themselves unless you’ve been there, but I’ll try to explain it as best I can.
It’s like you’re a speed above or below everyone else, you can see them but they’re moving too slow or too fast for you to catch up. I was with people but I was always alone. It’s like I was in a bed in a really deep ditch and I had to try and crawl out of […]
Positive attitude, hope, doing things, man of action…etc all these are boring and it is for looser.
Just experience nihilism, existentialism, Efilism, Antinatalism  these are all so interesting we fell in love with them and ready to give our life for these.
First case is for mentally underdeveloped people.
Therefore start asking yourself questions  ” what is the purpose of human life, is there any meaning at all?, does the all struggle we undergo- is it worth at all? “
Today as been one off the best days I’ve had in months so far I feel there is hope for me I can give so much to this world. my CPN (community psychiatric nurse) don’t know if you have them in the us? but in the uk we do. Well he said that I will be starting counselling next week I’ve been waiting for this for months as they have  a very long waiting list in my area where I live. I still feel down I still fell like ending it. but it is less today then it as been its mead me think my […]
I lay awake at night until the fatigue hits. My doctor has taken me off my sleeping medication. I beg my mom to let me take the pills that are left and she refuses. I think about awful thoughts when I lay awake. I think it will be better in the morning, but I know that’s false hope
My heart hurts from all the pain, so much that every beat leaves me with a sense of fatigue. Im just so tired of it all. I feel like its just me here alone looking inside myself trying to find something but the room is getting darker. i need some light.. some hope so my heart could medicate. Its been through so much trauma dont know how much more of it my heart could take.
I feel like, i’m the only one that feels like he’s being tested.
I feel like, this world is so absurdly fucked up, how could this be the real thing?
How can we expect to ever live in TRUE peace and harmony, if this world is a result of humans putting their heads together?
How can this world/life/dimension or whatever, be possibly real?
I’m no religious fella, or floaty supernatural type, Â but if this is it then i really, really hope there’s life after death.
Because how can a person that has “woken up” freely waddle carelessly through all these working slaves we see as people?
I’m not sure if i’m […]
So far my day is okay. Hope all of yours is too. Hoping it stays that way. My mood likes to fluctuate whenever it sees fit so I’m just going to listen to some mellow music and maybe daydream of something nice…like walking the beach with a future soul mate or laying in the woods listening to the birds. Also, random I know, but my backyard smells awesome because I just cut the grass yesterday and I love the smell of fresh cut grass.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y5P7tD15whU