my ex is right back at it again. Yesterday I was working in the fuel station, and apparently he kept telling customers and co-workers alike how horrible of a person I am. It got so bad that someone from the service desk called me down at the kiosk to warn me of what Alex was doing. shitty thing is, I can’t really do anything about it
Tag:
horrible
I Should Have Thought Of a Sophisticated Title (or “Proof I Suck At Titles” or “I Have a Tendency To Make Titles Long”)
by monsterly
written by monsterly
Imagine a map, it’s a map of the world, a giant map, placed on the wall.
There are lights on the map, some of them blue, some of them white,
some of them glistening more, some of them flickering faintly.
Each light represents a soul.
Your light is on the map and I don’t know if it’s blue, white,
if it’s shining or if it’s hiding, if it’s bruised or healing.
(If it’s healing, it’s purple.)
Then something horrible happens; a villain steals the lights.
Not the souls,
just the lights.
Blue, white,
purple.
No indication of them on the map.
The map’s plain now. That’s not nice, is it?
A plain map. A plain map that didn’t use […]
I honestly belive I am horrible person. I sometimes think about death, and wanting to kill myself, but not very seriously, so I wouldn’t consider myself suicidal. Still, I need to talk to someone because I would never tell my family or friends any of this, so obviously I have turned to the web to vent. I honestly think I ruin everything. Everything I do wether it’s little or small, I always manage to screw up. I feel like everything’s my fault. I keep trying and trying but still I feel like everything is just not turning out. And honestly I am tired of screwing […]
I am curious about something – I’m sorry of it seems trite or stupid. I don’t mean to be joking around. That being said, here goes:
Let’s assume, hypothetically for the moment that Hell exists and it is in fact governed by a fallen angel. Imagine what you will about eternal fire, absence of God, eternal and terrifying punishment – whatever your imagination can construe. And for the purposes of this question,the more horrible the better. You wake up tomorrow in the same pain and agony you were in when you went to bed. It’s just another day; same shit, different day. You have the same […]
Hi folks:
I’m in a very tough situation, I have two trials pending and none of them will bring anything good to me. I could even end up in jail. May be for two years or more.
My idea is to CTB before it happens. I’ve practiced the compression method but it seems not to work at all. All I get is a swollen head feeling. This would be my only option in jail.
Meanwhile, I have a ******** tank here at home, waiting for me, but I never find the right moment to do it. My mum knows I have that ******** bottle, but the agreement is […]
I don’t think I could ever really do it but sometimes I wish I could
by womaninamber
written by womaninamber
I thought I would never have suicidal thoughts again as long as I got a decent job. Now by some miracle I have a decent job but I don’t have any friends or anyone to talk to and I’m having the thoughts again, not as strongly but they’re there. I don’t think I could ever really do it, so maybe I’m just whining, but I really thought I’d never feel this bad again.
I used to have a lot of friends online but now I have only a few and they’re all really busy. And I haven’t had a face-to-face friend in years, or even someone […]
I could do the whole life is meaningless and pointless because personally in my eyes it’s true. I just wanted to express the fact as to how everything is so black and white to me now. I see people but not the faces its weird. I used to think life was so beautiful and just perfect but  i don’t know if its because got older or whatever but nothings the same.  I see the world for what it truly is which is such a terrible and horrible place ( in my eyes) but, iv’e recently made plans for suicide and if all goes as planned […]
Um, so… Hi?
Google suggested I come here and I really don’t know if that was such a good idea or not. I’m Pro Choice and this site doesn’t look like it gives you much of a choice. “SP” looks like a “No Kill Zone” and that’s fine, but I’m more a “Living Optional” kind of person. It kills me when people make choices for you, but don’t come up with a solution. “It’ll get better…” they croak, but the sad truth is, no it doesn’t get better; it gets worse.
If you’re young, wait a few years; If you’re old, […]
Im new here .. and I need help , I have issues with my dad. He doesnt seem to care at all . My family thinks that he is a good dad, but they just dont see how he really is with me . Hes a dad i probably consider as a father. I havnt been able to focus on school because of this.Im doing horrible, but i am trying my best to make my dad happy , but i always fail, he thinks im perfect .Im not. Is anybody else going through the same thing ? with a broken family ?
It’s always on my mind to end my life.. I was in a really bad accident that caused permanent brain damage.. I can not remember many things now.. I know my daughters bday is Halloween but I have to do the math to know what year she was born. I suffer from horrible pain.. Migraine headaches, throw up blood, I use to be able to do so much now I can hardly do anything 🙁 Life without health is no life at all.. I tried to end my life I took 80 Xanax & every other medication I can get my hands on. I woke up […]
so first, i want to apologize if i say anything that I’m not supposed to. i do that a lot >.>
well a month ago i tried to kill myself, and afterwards i thought that everything would be fine, and i felt happy. now i feel like theres no future for me and that I’m gonna feel depressed for the rest of my life, and really empty. i know that ill probably feel better by tomorrow but then ill just feel bad again. T_T again sorry if i say something wrong, I’m not good about talking to people about my feelings or actually feelings in general.
now […]
If I only could
If I could fill your hurting soul with love and happiness,
I would.
If I could fix your broken smile and light your eyes with life,
I would.
Believe me, If I only could, I would.
I’m not good at this, I wanted to give it a try. xd
I wish I could make everyone smile, just for a second.
Out of respect, names will be changed for privacy.
yesterday was a horrible day. My mother was the first person (who knew Tom well), to discover Tom’s dead body in his hotel room. My mother and Lisa, a friend of moms who barely knew Tom apart from the occasional light teasing they shared back and forth, searched the city for him after no one had heard from him for a week. The search lead to a small area in a bad neighborhood by two restaurants and a cheap hotel, a waitress at a restaurant he used to frequent took mother to the hotel manager and got […]
Today  I started cutting again (well actually last night). Its like I needed the pain again. Also I’ve researched about suicide methods. I really can’t handle what life requires me to do.
School sucks and I did something horrible that’s probably never gonna get fixed. Even though theres like 10 days left of school I really want it to be over. Maybe its just not for me. I hate being pressured to be something perfect
Well, turns out that I never got around to killing myself. There always seems to be something that stops me for a good day or two before the thoughts seem to flood back.
In the mean time, I feel like a horrible person because whenever I am honest to a mutual friend they turn their offense around on me and make me feel bad about myself. I know this isn’t fair, I know that I shouldn’t bother or care yet all I feel inside is that I am a bad person who makes other people angry, a problem – it’s one of my reasons to die.
Does that even make sense?
My life has been fraught with death. Â Now it’s all around me, like a heavy curse
And it’s only going to keep happening. Â It’s only going to get worse. Â How can this be tolerable?
I was thinking that it’s one more reason to get out of here. Â By dying, you beat the others to the punch. Â You don’t have to watch a presumably healthy person vanish before your eyes.
I don’t really think I’m equipped to deal with it, considering. Â Just like I’m not equipped to deal with life in general.
Why sit around and watch the horrible parts of life happen? Â Especially when that’s […]
Every time I close my eyes I see my self doing something I can’t possibly imagine ever doing. It’s as if death is the only way I could ever become happier. Suicide is something I would always be afraid of. Not until this year did I ever imagine it would be possible and not until about last month did I ever actually try it. Sometimes I feel like pills and blades and alcohol are my only friends, until I wake up bleeding or not remembering anything I did. Granted, I do have friends and family who love me but there words of encouragement are sometimes […]
I dont know how or why im still alive. I have no use here. Im a stupid worthless piece of shit and noone cares. Im never good enough for anyone. NEVER! and i never will be. because ill always be who i am and i cant change that. but i can change whether im here or not. I dont understand how ive held on this long. Its crazy, all the crap i put up with. But then again, here i go being selfish. There are people who put up with alot more. i dont have it that bad, im just a whiny […]
I’ve read all the posts here and i can’t help but feel horrible. I feel stupid that i’m feeling this way when my life is actually okay.
i want the feeling to go away so bad because i’m not worthy of feeling depressed
if i just disappeared,
would you know?
would you care?
would you look for me there?
i know you would search,
you’d fail, but you’d try,
and you’d cry,
for this horrible loss,
of a shadow that lost
it’s battle with life,
i tried oh so hard,
but i failed,
life derailed,
down the suicide path,
it was painless and fast,
i didn’t want to last,
and now Im gone,
and you cry for me,
you cut deep,
and you weep,
and you lose lots of sleep,
but you slowly move on,
and you no longer care,
about the girl who should not have been […]