Every time I close my eyes I see my self doing something I can’t possibly imagine ever doing. It’s as if death is the only way I could ever become happier. Suicide is something I would always be afraid of. Not until this year did I ever imagine it would be possible and not until about last month did I ever actually try it. Sometimes I feel like pills and blades and alcohol are my only friends, until I wake up bleeding or not remembering anything I did. Granted, I do have friends and family who love me but there words of encouragement are sometimes not enough. They aren’t enough to cover up all the pain I feel EVERY SINGLE DAY! Thinking this makes me sound so horrible and such a bad person but that’s how I feel. I’m tired of everyone telling me how I should feel and how I shouldn’t let things get to me. I’m sorry if I have feelings and sometimes when I express them I’m a bit dramatic. But that’s what my life has become. A big dramatic mess that I can’t escape!
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
1 comment
Hi mtairi2019… I’m not going to tell you how you should feel. After all, I’m no expert. My emotions are all over the place at any given moment. But I would suggest that an alternative to pills, blades, and alcohol may exist. Sometimes when things are rough, it’s difficult to see that things could be better. If you’d like to share a little more about what’s going on, you’ll find support here.
There’s no need to apologize for how you feel… or how you express yourself. We all have our ways of reacting to various events. Some will agree. Some won’t. It’s really not your problem if somebody doesn’t like it. What is your problem is working on a solution so that you can occasionally have a smile.