I thought I would never have suicidal thoughts again as long as I got a decent job. Now by some miracle I have a decent job but I don’t have any friends or anyone to talk to and I’m having the thoughts again, not as strongly but they’re there. I don’t think I could ever really do it, so maybe I’m just whining, but I really thought I’d never feel this bad again.
I used to have a lot of friends online but now I have only a few and they’re all really busy. And I haven’t had a face-to-face friend in years, or even someone I could call on the phone. I have no family except my son who is also too busy for me and has problems of his own.
People tell me to get out and make friends and I have honestly tried. I still get out but alone, which is fine when it’s a choice but it’s horrible when you have no other options. My job is a very small place so I don’t really have friends there either.
4 comments
Do you belong to a house of worship? Are there interest groups or hobby groups in your area for things you like to do? Bowling league? I’m trying to suggest just a few of the ways to meet new faces. There are countless more ways to do so. Some websites are out there which promote connecting people to meet for lunch, a drink, etc.
As for the online friends you lost, think about what happened to the friendships. Naturally, we lose touch with some people over the course of our friendships. Were there others that encountered an obstacle? If so, think about what happened in order to avoid a repeat.
Some of the people here on SP keep in touch by e-mail. I’ve met a few people on here who I’ve shared my story with…. and who have shared their stories with me. It’s nice to see that you’re still trying to connect. Keep trying.
Religion is kind of a minefield for me unfortunately. There are interest groups and I’ve been to meet-ups which can alleviate loneliness but I never meet actual friends. And now I have no car so it’s hard to even go. (I can’t afford a car plus I have developed a driving phobia…)
Mostly what happened with the online friends is that they left the website I knew them on for other reasons, so I don’t think it was me, at least not for everybody. But there’s probably some reason I don’t make face-to-face friends, something wrong with me… but when I think of that I don’t know what to change or how to change it, and it only makes me feel bad.
Sorry if I’m still whining. I do appreciate the help.
I’ll be your friend. Xo
You’re definitely not whining… If none of us communicated here, this website would be boring and blank. There are things going on in your life and, hopefully, speaking about them will help a little bit.
I was really into the online services ages ago… AOL, Compuserve, Prodigy, etc. were good ways to cross paths with people… I still keep in touch with some of those people and it’s been decades since they existed as they did back in the 90s. Back then, chat and e-mail had per-minute charges so we learned the art of being brief. 🙂
There’s nothing wrong with you…. I’m not big on in-person friendships either. Actually, I’ve done a lot to create my own island of sorts. I have no problem meeting people and hanging out… It’s just that, for whatever reason(s), I choose not to.
You should have access to my e-mail address because I’m commenting on your post. If you’d like to drop me a note, feel free.