I used to think that I was strong, that nothing could break me. Untill one day when I was in 6th grade I was with my step dad and He raped me. I told my mom and she got mad at me and said I’m a liar and not to say anything to anyone. I couldn’t keep it in. It hurt me so much. I told my 5 closest friends, and I thiught I could trust them. I was wrong. They told everyone. I came back to school 2 weeks later and these girls said I wanted it and i was a slut […]
I dug myself a hole of depression. Now I’m stuck, so the only thing left to do is keep on digging and see where it leads. Well I found where it leads, in a girl from somewhere and a guy from somewhere.
Suicide- according to them is the answer; end result or whatever you want to call it. However, I live in fear of the day I’m told I’m going to die. Ironic, considering I want it most in the world some times.
Of coarse everyday I tell myself and numerous others that I’m “fine”. Which I am. I mean there is literally no other word to […]
As I step into my house , I feel pain. I feel stress. When i’m not home , some stress is relieved. Â .
School ? Is a bully zone .. .
Life  ? Is hell . .
Me ? I’m a emotional mess
Scars ? Are beautiful..
You ? need to stay strong . ♥ . . .
>#IHateMyLife.
– Ashley . –
Why do I even try to befriend people?
Why do I even try my best to feel loved?
Why do I even try to find people who might care for me?
Why do I even try to hope that someday I will find love?
Why do I even try to stop myself from thinking about suicide?
All I do when I befriend people is hurt them.
All I do when I try to feel loved is get hurt.
All I do when I try to find people who might care for me is to feel useless and unwanted.
All I do when I try to hope […]
Dear whoever is reading this, SMILE.
Life is too short to be unhappy.
Everyone carries some sadness with them.
We get used to it.
If you have too much, it’ll weigh you down. (Sadness about past, present and future)
Try letting of some.
You’ll fell so much lighter. (Unnecessary sadness)Â
Just because you have experienced pain doesn’t mean you won’t feel happiness again.
Let your smile to change the world, don’t let the world change your smile.
I hope you always find a reason to smile.
These daily posts are officially stopping. I am now officially not doing the Day ___ things… It’s just causing more people to worry about me… So more people to hurt when I say my final goodbye… I don’t know how frequent I will post… So… Goodbye?
The only reason I haven’t killed myself yet is because I don’t want to hurt anyone but the reason I want to kill myself is because everyone is hurting me.
Fairytales aren’t real … the stories you read in the books when you were little , they’re all lies to. There’s no happy ending , no prince charming and there’s no one there to save you when you need to be rescued. There’s just the darkness and its there to eat you alive , to remind you that your life sucks. It pushes you until you break down , it breaks you until you are completely broken. People say that if you fall 10 times you get back up 11 times well here’s the thing … that darkness knocks you down 12 more times. Sooner or […]
You’re the one that I love
And I’m saying goodbye
Alright guys… This might be my last post… Am I dying? Maybe. Am I going to kill myself? Maybe.
All you need to know is I am stopping with posting things. Why? Because. People are starting to worry about me. People are starting to care about me. That’s more people that will be hurt when I go. That’s more people that will be in pain when I leave. So… I guess this is a goodbye in it’s own way… I guess I shouldn’t say goodbye… More like. Talk to you soon….
Old man walks through a cemetery
We see the stone, he falls to his knees
Fingers claw the grass as tears fall
The picture of despair, he holds his head
I look at him
The dead man would always hurt him
Why then, so much grief?
I would not respect a monster so much
I always think of the two men, living and dead
The living man would always hurt me
He took my childhood, my desire for life
But I think of what he did for his tormentor
And I wonder,
When he’s dead
Will I do the same?
Adjusting to the lights dimming
Adjusting to the hurt
Adjusting to the hopelessness
Adjusting to the lies
Adjusting to the late night cries
Adjusting to the mental pain
Adjusting to the terrible images
Adjusting to the temptation
Adjusting to the suicidal feelings
Adjusting to the suicidal thoughts
Adjusting to being alone again
Adjusting to being hurt again
Adjusting to being lied to again
Adjusting to being left again
Adjusting to being ignored again
Adjusting to being not cared for again
Adjusting to being something that doesn’t matter again
Adjusting to being a nobody
Adjusting to being just a fake
Adjusting to being nothing but a lie
Adjusting […]
I got accepted into a university I really wanted to get into. I’m happy about it, but I still in someway feel depressed. I thought maybe that would be the thing that brings my mood up but then again I’m so easily ready to leave this life. I guess I should be grateful because I’m getting something I want in life and like I said before I understand that I have been fortunate but I have also been unfortunate.
I feel like a college can accept me but people I know or try and get to know cant. But why is that what the hell is […]
I panic so much because of how I feel inside. My girlfriend wants me to get better but I cant right now. I know I should be happy with where I am in my life but everything that’s going on in my mind won’t let me.
I want her to get mad at me and tell me im wrong for not wanting to be here because if i leave this world ill be leaving her behind. one of my only reasons for being here is her because she wants me to. if she told me to kill myself tonight i would think about it for two […]
“emotional abuse is when someone does something to hurt you, and when you express your feelings, that you’re upset, the turn it around to be something you did to hurt them and they force you to apologize for it, and your feelings, like always, are rendered invalid and silenced, forever damaging the ability to trust others with your feelings because they are always used against you.”
-as said on Tumblr
My life is falling apart, things that I didn’t think could hurt me have managed to get inside my head and I don’t know how to get rid of them. I haven’t open up to anyone because just the thought of it terrifies me. I’ve only ever opened up to one person in my life, she was a therapist and she ended up lying to me and sharing my secrets with people who she knew I didn’t want to hear them.
a blinking cursor
a crying girl
a flickering screen
a dying heart
a white screen
a black background
a red blade
a clear tear
a silent cry
a loud scream
a hurt yell
a broken howl
a thinking mind
a scaring monster
a running person
a loving soul
a pale face
a pink cut
a blue wall
a dark spot
a violent whisper
a quiet scream
a hopeless word
a panicked voice
Someone asked me that today, and I had no valid answer to give. The truth is I don’t know why, I don’t know why I have such a hard time doing the right things. I can have every reason to walk away but I always find that tiny reason to stay and I cling on to it. I can know that the situation is completely wrong and I know that I am hurting myself by clinging to that bit of hope. Yet I still hold on for dear life and I don’t truly know why. Maybe I’m afraid maybe I’m absolutely terrified of accepting the […]
I’m sorry, mom.
I’m sorry I fail to meet your expectations every day, I’m sorry I’m not doing well in school.
I’m sorry I’m not thin, or athletic, or pretty enough for you to be proud of me.
I’m sorry I am so torn up inside, I’m sorry I have chronic depression.
I’m sorry I don’t talk and walk like the girl you wish I were.
I’m sorry I have different opinions on what is worth my time.
I’m sorry I don’t do everything right the first time.
I’m sorry I can’t function correctly.
I’m sorry I am sad most of the time, I’m sorry I am a lot to handle.
I’m sorry I’m […]
Hi Guys,
How are you? How’s your life? How is your day? Don’t forget to comment down below how you are! I do want to know!
NOTE: Really sorry for this being a long post… I didn’t really try to… Writing is the only way I can get my feelings out.
How am I? Does it even matter how I am? Does it matter? Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. How am I? Physically? Sore. Bruised. Hurt. Scarred. Mentally? Broken. In Pain. Hurt. Scared.
My physical state… I keep getting headaches… Waking up this morning I hit my head on my wall and it hurt like crazy, but […]
Sometimes I hear or see something I don’t want to when i’m with a group of people , and I see things that just hurt me and I want to burst into tears but I don’t want people to see the true me. It hurts being one of the only people from you’re group wanting to kill yourself every minute of day.