im shivering
im cold
im crying
im broken
im alone
im terrified
im shivering
doors close
radio on
darkness within
no light
pain hurts
hurting now
doors close
feeling lonely
feeling useless
feeling worthless
feeling terrible
feeling hurt
feeling suicidal
feeling lonely
i scream
i yell
i talk
i whisper
i hear
i listen
i scream
within me
within darkness
within pain
within hurt
within loneliness
within brokenness
within me
We fuck up what can’t be fucked
Master may I rip out your virgin heart
Spit claw eating out danger
I’d kill a thousand men and it wouldn’t be for you
I’ll kill a thousand more before I’d kill beside you
But I couldn’t kill one if he looked at me like you
Does it hurt me to love you
It hurts me to hate you
Break up me up when the blood rises
We look at each other when it suits us to die
Your master possesses when you want to tell lies
Cry touch playing a victim
I’d fuck a thousand men before I’d ever want to touch […]
My boyfriend broke up with me, he was cheating on me but maybe if I was a better girlfreind he wouldn’t have had too. I love him and I know it’s my fault. I’m one of those people who have to try harder then everyone else. When I study for school it takes me 8 hours to remember something that other people remember in only 2 hours. I always ruin everything I try to do including my relationships. I’m surrounded by people who have done amazing things already or have skills. I am 20 years old, havn’t joined any sports, I have no skills, I’m […]
Since when did this place breed so much hate and hurt? if its not here its in a chatroom related to this place. i think which post im talking about if obvious.
the thing is that post and this post shouldnt be necessary. is there not enough hurt in our lifes outside the sight that it becomes necessary to hurt other members?
To “joke” at their exspence for nothing other than cruel enjoyment at hurting others, was it not that cruelty from others that drove us here? is this what our members consist of, abusers and abused?
I am here because this is the one […]
Well, I guess you can say I’m contemplating suicide. I’ve been through a lot I suppose and I’m not sure how to handle it anymore. I’ve attempted suicide before, when I was around 11 or 12. I was too young to realise it took more effort then what I put in. And now that I’m older I realise that it might be best to just end my life. I know that I will hurt people, and that isn’t my intention, I love my friends, my family, my boyfriend. But I don’t want to lose my grandparent’s trust, or ruin my boyfriend’s life or not be […]
Just read a highly inspiring post called “Why are you still here?”. That is a great question, why are we (hurt, abused, heart broken, destroyed, ready to give up on life) still here? Everyone has a reason, everyone has a PURPOSE. It took a lot for me to find that out. I’m pretty depressed right now, it has actually gotten worst as this new year came in, nothing has gone right everything is turning for the worst. Dreams, memories, everyday experiences all going wrong. Came on here to read over my posts to see how far I’ve gotten, but that one post caught my eye […]
At home and alone lone is the only time i let my really feelings show. All sadness, pain and hurt. I try to tell people i really do but i just don’t want the looks that you get after. Not only of worry and pity but also the looks of disbelieving from all the people who believe there is nothing wrong. That it’s all for attention. When really your hurting inside.
You ever feel numb inside and you just dont want to anything, Â you think about how many people you have hurt you know that you put them through so much pain. You know inside that you should just find a way to get your mind off of things but you turn your music up but your head phones on and all you think about is dying. All you want to do die. Lay in the road…JUST GET OUT OF THE WORLD.. Your ex text you and you just want to cry.. You just want to grab your blade but then you remember you flushed them […]
in order to overcome it you have to have hope that you can. On an unrelated,and quite weird note, sometimes i think about something and then i think about thinking about that something and my brain gives up. for instance i’m thinking about writing this while thinking about the other times when i thought too much and made my brain hurt. Ridiculous.
Is is wrong to want to hurt him the way he hurt me?
Is it wrong to want to take it all from him so he is left with nothing?
All the years, all my time, all my efforts.
All the pain, all the fears,
he took away, only to bring worse ones near.
My heart says i still love him.
My heart won’t let me hurt him.
But my mind, it’s going crazy.
How can I hurt him anyway?
I’m so confused and angry.
But not at him.
I’m angry at me.
I let this all happen.
I can’t hurt him..
And my heart, […]
I’ll try to cut the bulk and give you guys the gyst, but it is hard. I have been battling suicidal thoughts and self-harming for over a decade. I never thought when I first started this, that I would have my own place, a growing family, and still be struggling with the razor.
Anyway. I’m an only child from a one parent family. My dad is as strange to me as people I have never met before, and I am okay with that. He wandered back into my mom’s life for fun occasional sex when I was 12; that’s when my battle began. When I self-harmed […]
Hey guys. I need some advices here. I know at the end it’s totally up to me but I don’t know, maybe you could help.
I’ve been feeling very very down the last 3 weeks. I was really giving up about life. I did post something about this not long ago. Somehow, yesterday, I found the strengh to tell a friend that I needed to talk. We talked a little bit by text message and I asked if she could find time to meet in real person to talk. And she said yes. Seriously, I know Im not lucid now ’cause I’m hurt and it was […]
I always wanted to prove her how much i love her.
All things happened to me is only becoz i love her so much.
I want to rewind my life only six hours if its possible ?
It feels hurt deep inside me.
Amy i love u more than my life.
I prayed a lot of gods to fall in love with u […]
Hi, I’m Samantha, I go by Sammy. I am 17, a junior in high school. I’ve moved 5 times, lived in 4 different states. I was planning on telling a longer life story, but my last one was suddenly deleted & I am not going to rewrite the whole thing.. I have a great family, & overall people will say my life is well off. my main reason for thinking about ending my life is the feeling of being not needed, & way to overwhelmed with school. I’ve never had a best friend. The one who you always hang out with, saves you a seat,. […]
I am in my last year of highschool and I have never been so alone and afraid in my entire life. During exams last year I went to a party and did something stupid that caused a bunch of girls to say hurtful things to me and it just pushed me over my limit. I’ve dealth with their cattiness for the past 2 years and I was done with it. I called my mom to pick me up and she couldn’t even tell I was breaking down. It wasn’t her fault because I am good at pretending I am okay. When we got home she […]
I’m young. People don’t generally understand how a young person with so much life left ahead of them could be depressed. Some say it’s just puberty, some say it’s hormones. I know what both of those feel like, and they are nothing compared to the grasp depression can have on you. It takes hold of you, and no matter how hard you try to fight it so you can breathe again, it leaves you empty and without energy. I come from a good family. Parents are together, no one close to me has been taken away. And still… it is so hard to be happy. […]
I actually really want someone to punch me. Like when I’m feeling really frustrated and angry I just wish someone would hurt me. I want to feel the solid strike of justice hitting my body, the pain rippling through my body. Punishment for my sins.
Dear, “Friend.”
It hurts.
You’re my friend, or at least I thought you were…
I’m not a toy that you can use.
I have feelings.
You are not here when I need you, you don’t care.
When I cry out for help, you act like you didn’t hear.
You call me a loner, but I’m trying to talk.
But you wont let me… You’re scared of me leaving.
I’m a loner.
I’m a weirdo.
I’m nothing.
I’m a *****.
Oh, It hurts.
Keep calling me names, It will only make me worse.
You say you’re kidding, just playing around.
But look closer at me what […]
Depression and suicidal thinking seems to have taken over my life for the past year…could run on about my sad life… the traumatic sexual assaults as a child…the counseling… but why? Does anyone really care..? well the problem is someone does…my best friend has been dealt a shittier hand in life than me…its what has brought us so close…so there in lies the problem…as much as i want death how can i go through with it knowing how much it will hurt my friend..?
If you really knew me you would know that I was happy. I was surrounded by happiness and laughter. Now I just want to wither away. Everybody who I was close to drifted apart from me and look at me like I’m psycho. If you really knew me you would know that I’m hurting physically and emotionally, I feel numb. Numb is really an understatement but that’s the only way of describing it. If you really knew me you would check my limbs for cuts periodically, Nobody cares enough to do that though. If you really knew me you would know I’m breaking down and […]
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