I feel horrible about myself. I was very depressed before I got pregnant. It was to the point to where i was using hardcore drugs. But i knew if i wanted to be with the person I’m in love with, i had to do better. Because he’s a good boy, and he only wants the best for me. So I did, got sober, but I was still very depressed. So i started using again and hid it from him… Then I found out I was pregnant and it was very difficult to stop. I am still very depressed, and I’m worried that once my son […]
Tag:
i was
Anxious,Depressed but now mostly Confused (Is cracking up n going crazy the only thing left for me..)..
by confusedboy
written by confusedboy
Hello i am a 21 year old boy with depression and anxiety problem.Wish i had known about this page years ago but no worries.ok here we go.I have always been a depressed kid since i can remember.i was kept in a school hostel since the age of 6 cause my parents had to go abroad to work.The hostel was worst.They gave bad food (worms in food,burnt,always potato) and on top of that they charged more money.The person incharge of looking after us was the most miserable person i have ever met,always beating us and taking whatever stuff our parents had sent via parcel.I can still […]
Last night i was so angry with myself that i broke my glasses with my bare hands. I’ve started cutting again after 2 months of being clean. Of course my girlfriend had to see my wrists and she said i broke a promise to her and she did not want to ever speak to me again… she claims i broke her trust by cutting. She doesn’t seem to understand that cutting isn’t something i can just turn on and off again, and that i don’t cut for attention or to make her mad… she hates that i smoke weed (????) and she hates […]
Well guys i’ve been through a lot in my life and im only 21.. i just love talking to people and getting to know everyone like i wanted to be treated back when i was younger.. i was always alone and always picked on by so many people… i was made to feel so worthless and so empty. It come to the point where my own parents didnt even want to know me :c For 4 years they still havent seen me.. or talked to me and that hurts, mainly cause my bro and sis follow in my moms footsteps and listen to her… My […]
i totally agree with everyone not presently abiding in a veggie garden when they say that fb sucks a bag of dicks…..my pg is not like that….not a single vacay photo or cutesy baby pic in sight…..(full disclosure, it is still a bit depressing) i set it up under a pseudonym so ppl that know me, wont know it’s me…it has my favorite songs about suicide, picts of self immoliation,things i think are cool, and excerpts from diffrent things i’m writing so ppl can tell me if it sux or not, ….since i dont wanna invite ppl “i know” (i use quotation marks here bc […]
breathe,i must remember to breathe. in, out, in, out…,paralyzing fear. like the first time i was shot at. my brain is numb, and has a difficult time making decisions. must do. anything. so scared. so damn emotional. making me crazier. cant stop crying. no more tears and i cant stop crying. seeking help, but what can be done? it dont go away. the only ones who understand are in the same boat with me and sinking fast. so disconnected from evrything. i want to die. yet, i want to live. i want to experience joy, happines and all the good emotions that i have denied […]
At the begining it was only to see if it would hurt as much as i was hurting inside. After, it became like an addiction. It pinched my skin and a soft line of blood ran down my skin. It felt wonderful. I didn’t know what real love is and didn’t have a single friend. So who would care?
It’s been 3 years now that I self harm and struggle with depression. I’ve tried to kill myself 3 times but each time i woke up in a hospital…alive. I thought these pills and alcohol would save me from this fucked up world but it was only […]
i write this to you as the only means of getting in touch with you. i would like you to know that i saw your posts, and that your words, caring and concern for a depressed, lonley, old man, touched me deeply. yes, it was my plan, and i was determined to carry it out. as is usually the case, the universe stepped in with a bunch of annoying distractions that prevented the follow through. i did end up in the cold for about two hours. i went to our towns christmas parade with my ex-wife. it was difficult because of my social anxiety,but pushed […]
Uh i just need to write this to someone,maybe this time someone out there will hear me i can’t do this anymore being ingored by everyone.So i guess this is a blog where we share our suicide stories it is my first time doing this i hope i don’t get judged even in here.So here is my story..My name will remain unknown for reason but i am 16 years old.When i was a little kid i was very very outgoing never shy of anyone i would always laugh and be happy i can say i had a pretty good childhood.but everything changed when i was […]
I was have been depressed since march of this year. and the trigger was separation from my husband. I have loved my husband and left everything for him and now he kicked me out of the house because i called the cops on him as i was slapped and was injured once. I have hired a lawyer to get the charged dropped or atleast convey to the prosecutor for leniency. We both have our flaws and i am from get go willing to seek couples counselling. I have been so helpless and a failure as i was hoping to be a good wife. i still love my […]
I am a person with social anxiety disorder, and i easily fall into depression, its already confirmed that depression is an illness
and it should be threated and thankfully some people get that treatment they require, but for me, i don’t have friends and people that would help me with that, because i am plain unlucky
i preferred being alone, i barely knew what to say when people talk to me, since my childhood i spend most of my time alone. my parents were always arguing, they
didn’t get along with each other, my father was abusing my mother, and i had to see that, […]
and in this life never did I see so much hurt and pain. As a child I was attracted to the light to the happiness but as I grew older and realized that you can’t plan life that little dream of mine grew distant and blurry I knew that I’d have to runaway to find this dream of mine. My dream house grew colder day by day and suddenly i was no longer attracted to the light. Happiness made me uncomfortable I knew how quickly it could all end. I felt company with the darkness being happy felt lonely. We are told so many stories […]
Hi, I live in Asia and currently a 23 years old male
I feel that my entire life is in constant loops of suffering. I do not have a normal family, and I am an illegitimate child. Yet, i always do not let my identity define myself. Apart fron that, i was always bullied in school, with people constantly calling me names. Because of that, I had a very low self esteem and always tried to avoid people. I did not participate in any activities, and always went home straight if there was no make up classes. I had a really bad 5 years in my […]
i think it was the lack of sleep that sent me over…..the edge is not a quantitive thing that can be easily explained to those of whom have not been privy to the discomfort that comes with going over it….i had a ceasure and hurt my hip in the process i suppose, i was not concious for it so am therefor unsure…..i spent some time away but life has yet to leave, for which i am obliquely thankful, greatful even….
it was a set up. i knew it was a set up and went anyway. i was hungry. people do wierd things when they are hungry. i only went for the food. food wasnt good, and the price was worse. i do not need or want their relegion. and i am a way better cook. how dare they tell me that what i think and feel is wrong. what i believe is a lie,their is only one way. what bullshit. i was hungry. only wanted to eat. no one to blame but me.i knew better. should have stuck with macdonalds
Was life meant to be painful
I thought i was a precious gift from your parents
Its suppose to be joyful
Happy
Pure
Exciting
But its actually a living nightmare
I didn’t know i could despise people so much
Even the ones i love
Im letting them down
Including myself
I just want to get better
Thats all
I don’t want to fall in this massive abyss of sadness
But it feels like i’ve been tumbling
I want to change
But can i escape this depression?
My depression started when i was 11. My father had been abusing me and cheating on my mother then she eventually got tired of it and her left when i was 12. Haven’t talked to him since. My mother went into deep depression after he left and she started abusing prescription drugs (soma, vicoden etc) she had very unmanageable diabetes and was in and out of the hospital for 6 years. Then she passed away 3 years ago when i was 18. She died from an accidental pill overdose. Ever since then ive had so much emotional pain. I dont know how to deal with […]
dear people, well after a really bad week, decided to give up and surrender to the whitecoats.in going to my appointment, please know that i carry all the shame and guilt that comes with this decision. all those studies and tests i was part of didnt do shit. cant wait to see what is in store for me now. they mean well, but dont know and cannot understand what we go through. i came to this website looking for meathods. i stayed because what i found here hurts my heart worse than the depression. so many people. so many people. i was surprised. really, i […]
i was playing basketball today and the ball hit my middle finger, and it hurt so bad but that not the thing, the thing is they keep on playing dodging me on the floor NOBODY moved his finger to ask me if i was okay, am i invisible the big question why does everybody do not gives a fuck about me
religious nuts. thats what i said to him when i saw some preechers on the streets. im 17. i used to be mildly religious, i used to pray and be conscious of my sins, then at 13 my innocents was robbed ironicaly my cross pendant that i wore permenantly broke in the process, i kept the truth to myself but it slowly ate away at me, destroying any faith i had, leading me down a dark hole of depression. then i met sam again, after 3 years of just saying hey down the corridoor. he caught site of my scars and fresh cuts, he opened […]