those of you who know the character in the play hamlet know what happens to her. it sort of sums up what is going on in my mind. as in i feel like i am losing it. the swing of emotions i am experiencing is exhausting. anger, deep sadness, tears that come from nowhere, and an urge to kill myself. while i am supposedly making progress by letting myself express these emotions, it is the unpredictability of the whole mess that is getting me. i have been suicidal since i was a child so of course that will emerge from the pit as well. i […]
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you know what is SO fucked up? is that after someone commits suicide EVERYONE around the person is saying things like “oh she was such a great person” and “if she had only called i would have been there to listen, to help” but you know what? it’s fucking bullshit. i did what a suicide support website said – i reached out, far, on a limb and i thought hard of the smartest people i know, the people who have provided guidance and direction in the past. i decided to reach out to my aunt who i haven’t spoken to in over 10 years. i […]
i love him a lot he too…but i become so dependent on him it disturbs his life he wants me to be independent but i couldn’t do that..i read many articles..i motivated myself to be independent of him but nothing gives success..i am working as a software engineer i am a passionate girl i love my job ..i have a variety of hobbies..good parents brother friends..but the new office environment and hostel environment makes me to feel lonely ..i couldn’t manage this loneliness that’s why become too much dependent on him and moreover he made me to be dependent on him..he voluntarily involved himself and […]
well my best friend and his family just moved into my house. the house i was supposed to start a family in. i thought maybe it would help to be around them and stay for a month or 2 but it just triggered me even more. seeing him and his kids and wife just made me think more of what i have lost. i walked to a secluded place where there is a peaceful creek, im under a tree with a very gentle rain peeking through hitting me in the face every so often. ive got over 100 depehnhydramine and have had about a […]
death,
love me.
first time I saw you was in class. i looked at you from the other side of the room, hoping our eyes will meet. guess you didn’t notice.
second time we bumped into each other in the street. you asked what’s up. i was too overwhelmed to answer.
STUPID! STUPID! i later said to myself.
third time i went to your house and rang the bell. i heard your footsteps and fled. i wasn’t ready.
i often like to think that when you opened the door you caught a glimpse of me with one leg in the woods.
death,
i’m so so scared to […]
before my deployments started i was good for 80k plus a year i was not teh most liked guy in my workplace but I did ok. Teh war taught me to really appreciate what I have and to treat my “clients differently to appreciate their human qualities and understand it wasnt my job to make them miserable instead it was my job to ensure they were safe and in custody. You see I was a Correctional Officer, and an MP. i was my institutions go to guy i worked OT 6 to 8 months a year solid 16 ours a day 7 days a week. […]
i found this page not long ago and i want a place to share things that i am not able to tell even my family
i tried suicide for countless times before. i hate people. i always put on a mask to address everyone especially classmates or collegues that hated me. i often wondered why they hate me and i tried investigate once and found out they hated me for being cheerful to them eveb though they spit hurtful comments to every hardwork i poured to work or projects.
i also hated money. i hate how people use others for the sake of getting money. i am […]
Wow my cousin is such a *****
i thought my family new that i was “gay”
well im actually bi but i’ll never tell them that
well my cousin looked at my history
and he thinks im gay why dose he care what i watched. And why dose he care what i do in my life hes my cousin for god sake he should worrie about his mum and himself
ohh godd i wish i could kill my self
but i cant
i even wished a car could kill me ahhh
-brian
Finally! I did it late last afternoon. I made everything ready, and then set me Down in my sofa/ couch and drank 4 beer. I found some good music on my stereo and did it! But… I woke up on the floor. The homemade fabric “Rope” i had made was broken. I remember when i was “Gone” hearing a lot of noise and wery fast loud breathing sounds. Really scary. I don’t know how long i was gone. When i woke up i did’nt knew WHO i was or WHERE i was for like 10 seconds. It was wery unrealistic. Now my throat Hurts when i swallow, […]
This whole thing started about 5 years ago…i was 15 then…life started to hit me even harder than before…i grew with my grandparents,not so nice,they we’re always fighting over silly things,my grandpa was an alcoholic dog,my grandma was always nice,miss her btw ^^.I grew with my grandparents because my parents left the country when i was 8.So,after my 15 th birthday,you know,puberty,all of that shit,started to smoke,drink,party,it was good,you know,so good,until love started to hit me like an hurricane,i was so in love…she knew,i told her so many times,but she didn’t care…for 2 years i couldn’t stop thinking about her…that’s not nice…a few sleepless nights,drinking […]
my sister turned around to me and said i was getting fat again. i hadn’t noticed, but she’s right. of course she is. i just can’t keep stable can i?
i don’t know what to do anymore, i really don’t wanna die, but i want the pain to go away. i just don’t know how to do it without commiting suicide. please someone, help me i really need help. but i don’t get any. people around me always just run away from me. i don’t know what i have ever done to them.
i normaly cut everyday but i’m trying to stop, bc i almost died once of it. i didnt meant to do that, but i was so angry at myself that i did it to deep. i really don’t wanna put myself in that […]
I’ve always been aware of the things around me but yet i’m so scaredof everything. i’m a senior and i’ve been depressed for a long time now. Everyone i had turned their back on me because they didn’t like who i was. worse,when it ever came to confrontations iwas and still afraid of standing up for myself and i hate the fact that i’m weak and worthless. I often hide how i feel and disguise it, noone cares about me. Last year i tried comitting suicide a couple of times but failed because i don’t want to die without atleast trying to be happy. i […]
it all started when i was 11 my dad passed away, after living a rich life my family lost all there money and we lived in poverty.
my mother has bipolar and after my dad passed away she spent all of the money on things we did not need.
I fell in love with a girl at age 15 and her parents hated my guts because my family is not rich and they are, because i loved the girl so much i tried my best to become a young successful entreprenuar so i opened up a little cell phone shop to prove to her parents that i […]
I don’t honestly know what to say so i’ll just start typing and hope it works. so for the most part my life hasn’t been the worst I grew up mostly in a trashy trailer park my dad left the day i was born. i also got bullied when i was little i would come home with bruise, cuts, scraps quite often there where some older gets who would beat on me. it wasn’t to bad then it started when i was about 4 but i had a few friends so i could take it. but in second grade my mom forced me to switch […]
Here i am, unable to sleep once again. It has been becoming more regular lately. Thinking of the failures of my life. The failures bound to take their place in my life eventually, who knows how many more there could be. I feel like it’s getting closer to the day that i just give into these thoughts. I just want it to come to an end. An abrupt, swift end.
Now for a little back story i guess (sorry in advance in if i get carried away). When i was in primary school, i was bullied to the point where an eight year old (myself) wanted […]
I my name is G.O. and i have 15 years, i know dat maybe im too young, but my life has been shit since mmmm ever?My family is so f***** up, my dad is a bastard, since i was 4 he would always beat me up and my mum would only say”ohh it’s your fault, u know how is ur father” … 3 years ago my dad divorced from that slut of my mum”she was a gold digg, i could always see her wit some dude, my dad didn t care, he was whoring 2…”
Then at 12 i thinked that i could become happy witout […]
i found this site when i was in grade 7. i’m going into grade 10 now. in the span of three years so much has changed. when I was younger i didn’t understand why some users posted the things they did, but i gradually began to deeply sympathize with their emotions of anguish and sorrow.
i’ve been visiting here more frequently as of late, and it feels like more and more people are joining. is that a good thing? maybe it’s just me
this place is special. i often wonder about everyone that’s come and gone. what was their story? where did they go? the fact […]
HUH. so here im letting out my depression in online world man im so messed up. Let me tell u about myself im cooper 17 years old got a sister we are 5 years apart ( shes 22 now) . She got enrolled in college at country side so my family had to move from city to a godforsaken rural area by family i mean my mother ,me and my sister ya i know i dont have a dad he died in some acciedent when i was 1 . well the messed up part is im not sure how he died how does he look […]