My name is Caleb William Phillips. And yesterday May 22nd 2014, was my daughters 5th birthday. Her mother and I are separated permanently and she has remarried (common law) and lives with another man with his own children. I have a 3 year old daughter named Olivia Grace Phillips as well by the same mother. And these are my only two children and my only two reasons for living. As of about a year and a half ago things got out of hand when I put pain pills before my family. Chelsea left and took the girls as she should have. Several months later I […]
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in pain
I did not end it last night I was moments away for it but thats down to two people my mother and a comment left on a post here. Yes i still got no hope I still want to die but I was in a very dark place yesterday. And if it was not for that post and my mother coming into my room and hugging me saying “I know your in pain but I love you and you can get through this” it almost broke my heart I can’t remember the last time she did that. so I’m going to try again for her. […]
How am I?
Funny how no one really asks you that question because they assume that you are fine when in reality you are breaking and crumbling every day and no one notices.
Weird how the fact that, that I’m the first person to ask How I am in some time.
How am I?
Broken.
Shattered.
In pain.
I get more nervous now so I bite my lip, but sometimes it makes it bleed.
I lick my lips a lot more too to try and calm myself down, but sometimes it doesn’t work.
I breathe faster now trying to control my anxiousness around triggers.
Normally […]
As I sit here crying, in pain. My chest hurts and I feel like absolute shit. You lay there sleeping with not a care in the world for everything taking a toll on me. You say I push you. It’s always me. Always me pushing you. And maybe I do. Maybe I’m the reason for everything horrible that you blame me for. But as I sit here, I think about how much I want to tell you that you’re pushing me. I’m so near to giving up. I never felt so alone. I can’t go to you because you’ll judge me. You’ll tell me I’m […]
I didn’t kill myself today, no thanks to you. I survived today and everyday before leading up to today on my own. I did that for you. I know you want me to be here, even if I don’t. But if it’s so important to you that I be here, even if I’m in pain, even if every minute is a struggle, maybe you could stop fighting for the other side? It’s hard enough to fight this on my own, by myself. Having to do it in spite of you only makes it harder. I don’t know how much longer I can keep doing this, […]
“Keep it in
Don’t let it out
You have to be strong
You can’t be weak
You have to move on
Don’t let them see
That you’re in pain
Don’t let them notice
That you’re slowly breaking
Don’t cry in public
But instead in your room
With the door closed
The music blasting
So they don’t hear the sobs
They can’t hear the screams
Though they never would
Even without the music
Because the screams you scream
Are silent like the night
You can’t let them know
You have to go on
Live on being strong
Don’t trip and fall down
Because there is no […]
Humans aren’t born with an innate sense of fear, we’re taught to fear things in life. I fear knives and falling; and for that very reason opted to not take my life that way. But bleeding to death and falling from a significant height is not only fatal, but you pass out relatively quickly or die instantaneously. They’re methods that I’ve been avoiding because of my stupid fear of driving the knife through my abdomen or free falling to the ground. Fuck the plastic bag and struggling! Fuck the tight closet that is completely useless! I’m going to stab myself and whether I become […]
Its just little, old, invisible me trying to find out what I’m doing here…. -.-‘
written by InvisibleGirl
I don’t really know what I’m doing here… Â Am I just seeking ways to escape reality? Â Or am I just trying to find someone who will listen? Â Maybe both, I don’t know. Â But what I do know is that I’m tired of being invisible to people. Â My main issue is I’m a passive aggressive type of person, so I won’t fight back if someone picks on or bullies me. Â Which is also an issue because, since I’m passive aggressive people like to pick on me. Â I’ve been abandoned by my friends so many times that its hard for me to get close to people and […]
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