So I told my psychiatrist about my overdose a couple weeks ago; they now know of three of my suicide attempts. And each time they haven’t done squat to help me. Yet again I was told of  the dangers it can cause my liver and all that, he asked my how likely it was that I’d try again. I said there’s a 50/50 chance I would. So I was basically telling her that I probably, almost more than certain would do it again. So what did she do? Tell my mum what happened and tell her to remove all medication from the house; […]
Tag:
in the
Twice in the past week and three in the last couple of weeks I’ve talked myself out of suicide. I don’t understand why I can’t just do it. Everyone I thought were friends have decided they’re suddenly bored of me and won’t really speak to me and the one man who keeps telling me how he’s always going to be there for me hasn’t been lately. My family won’t believe I’m as unwell as I am because they don’t see mental illness as a legit ting. I’m so tired of crying myself to sleep every single night.
I’m just tired.
I can’t really stand to be here for more than a few moments, but I am here to leave an update comparing today to this day last year.
One year ago today I was ready to die. Today is my 29th birthday, and this time last year I was trying to hang myself from a shower stall or from a tree in a campground. It didn’t work out. At 7am the next morning I was dealing with campground staff wondering why my car was in a ditch; the rear hatch window was smashed, and I needed a tow truck to pull out my car. It took a […]
i hope no one would judge me here .
i am just a teen ., 15-16 ..but i have done horrible things . i had round about 6-7 ex boyfriends & more reltns in which i stayed with just 2-3 days but all these relationships were on fb or phn , no physical contact , i was a kid and i was immature and i hate myslf for wt i had done , i regret it evry single day , i feel so sad that i can’t face myslf . i was immature , but my reputation now is totally ruined , beside my exs […]
Next month it will be a year that she left my side. She didn’t give me life, but filled me with life. If Nate would have just let me be i would be with her.
Loss is such a painful part of life. I still don’t understand why the people i need in my life are taken from me in such horrid ways. My daughter would be getting her license this year. I can’t believe i only had eight days with her, but i wouldn’t change those days for anything in the world.
I suppose i am lucky that i have turned all my pain into a […]
What’s the best thing in the world?
June-rose, by May-dew impearled;
Sweet south-wind, that means no rain;
Truth, not cruel to a friend;
Pleasure, not in haste to end;
Beauty, not self-decked and curled
Till its pride is over-plain;
Love, when, so, you’re loved again.
What’s the best thing in the world?
–Something out of it, I think.
I didn’t think it was even possible to feel any more terrible than I did a week ago, but it is. It’s hard to even get out of bed in the morning. I’m just so exhausted all the time even though I sleep minimum 8 hours a night. I just hate this… I hate this so much… I wouldn’t wish this pain on anyone. No one. Why do I have to feel it? God, if you exist, why are you letting me feel like this? Why can’t you help me? Haven’t knocked me down far enough? Â Can I just please die now? I’m already more […]
Hello everyone
Im Shianna and I’ve been bullied since I was 10
It started in 4th grade
At the beginning I had lots of friends I was always to popular girl I would always bring in snacks for everyone and I loved school.
Well somewhere in 4th grade I started gaining crazy weight I weighed 178
Remember a 10 year old weighing that is really dangerous so my doctor gave me pills and more pills. But they didn’t help
At all. 4Th grade was over I was in 5th now and III t was around my 11th birthday
When I walked pass a group of boys […]
Love me Sweet, with all thou art,
Feeling, thinking, seeing;
Love me in the lightest part,
Love me in full being.
II
Love me with thine open youth
In its frank surrender;
With the vowing of thy mouth,
With its silence tender.
III
Love me with thine azure eyes,
Made for earnest grantings;
Taking colour from the skies,
Can Heaven’s truth be wanting?
IV
Love me with their lids, that fall
Snow-like at first meeting;
Love me with thine heart, that all
Neighbours then see beating.
V
Love me with thine hand stretched out
Freely — open-minded:
Love me with thy loitering foot, —
Hearing one behind it.
VI
Love me with thy voice, that […]
To be honest, I just really want out of this life. I can’t take it anymore. I can’t take the worrying about my future. I can’t stand the fact that I’m completely ugly. I can’t stand the fact that I can never chose the right religion. I can’t stand the fact that I’m so open about how I feel with everyone in the world. I’m just so fucked up in the mind, and there’s so much that races through my head. There are just so many thoughts, and they’re crazy and weird. I’m crazy and weird. I’m stupid. I’m always fucking something up. People try […]
I feel like I’m constantly lying to prevent anyone knowing how I really feel. I feel like a failure and don’t know how to start again. I wish I used my past opportunities better, but this horrible depression feels so debilitating that I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. No one knows I want to kill myself. Suicide, Â it’s always in the back of my mind like a comfort, that if things get worse I can always get out of this life. My life has become that trivial to me now, that the thought of dying is a comfort.
i am close to only a few people.i cant get close to anymore people.they will just end up leaving me and hurting me like the rest.the are just not nice anymore.i blame my ex’s for making me have this fear of getting close to people.i hate the fact that i have the fear.i need to let go of that,but it doesnt look like tht is going to be happening anytime soon. SOMETIMES…..i feel like no one really knows me or my life or what i have been through.they only know my name not my story so stop being so damn mean to me and just […]
Today as been one off the best days I’ve had in months so far I feel there is hope for me I can give so much to this world. my CPN (community psychiatric nurse) don’t know if you have them in the us? but in the uk we do. Well he said that I will be starting counselling next week I’ve been waiting for this for months as they have  a very long waiting list in my area where I live. I still feel down I still fell like ending it. but it is less today then it as been its mead me think my […]
I lay awake at night until the fatigue hits. My doctor has taken me off my sleeping medication. I beg my mom to let me take the pills that are left and she refuses. I think about awful thoughts when I lay awake. I think it will be better in the morning, but I know that’s false hope
Do you ever get the angry side of being suicidal ? i was just surrounded by people telling me that i’m perfectly fine and theres nothing wrong, the same people who spoon feed me the pills that are designed to basically make you humble in your intolerable situations, and they laugh and poke you as if waiting for a punchline in some massive bloody joke.
my mind instantly went to that place, which most of us probably call home, and i thought.
if i’m willing to end my own life in the most brutal of ways
then what’s stopping me from massacring my current tormentors ?
its a little […]
Anyone tired of the “there is no such thing as rational suicide” argument?
by bzbzbz
written by bzbzbz
I’ve read that 2/3 of all people who’ve committed suffered from mental illness, but what about the other 1/3 who didn’t? And I’m not counting the terminally ill — to me, that’s a no-brainer.  Are there rational reasons for deciding to end one’s life?
I see people constantly answer in the negative on other forums, but I can’t see how this can be an objective viewpoint. Â Everyone says ‘there is always hope’ or — my favorite brainless platitude – Â ‘suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.’ Â I have a feeling that people who say that haven’t had a whole lot of serious problems — and […]
you come
crying
and eating
growing
your halo of gold
i take it
i steal you away chil’
to my palace
in the darkness
i shape you
molded clay
becoming
red and black
devil chil’
you are mine
now go
out into the sun
into the moonlight
break them chil’
tear them
kill their babies
poison their water
burn their crops
break the glass
shattering
make them crumble
give them
infernal fire
watch
as they turn to ash
go forth chil’
leave your chocolate behind
and become the devil
this world will end
you are
darkness
my creation
burn them all
Hope all of you are able to have a good day today. I’m going to try to act normal as my mother is already in a bad mood for some reason and I’m in a bad mood and if I show any sign of anger I get chewed out.
anyway, to those of you whose mother’s have passed, rest in peace and I hope you can find some joy in the day.
Like a creature, my nails suddenly grown long.
Parasecting the crystal, the nug. Digging the inner.
I guess Parasect is my second pokemon, then.
I saw it in the manga, and it’s wizard mushroom cap.
How about that… The alchemist pokemon.
My dream, is to catch ….. Now, to take over the world.
Spiraling down. Down to the muk card. What of essence.
Oh, the humanity. What of, is this mankind. Who would of let, to become.
Ash would say, and the other heroes.
Tauros, of the silver bone. Evolved in dire sake, a bullet in it’s body.
The day; the stories. The fights. All there […]
that little girl
she was so naive
didn’t know what life was
so sheltered as a kid
she forced herself
to learn alone
she made friends
some lied
some cried
some died
some succeeded
some failed
she was alone
she had to reach again..
where is that little girl?
shes had some growing up to do
grown up decisions led to adult consequences
she just didn’t learn
she tried so hard
she caved
she lit the lighter and inhaled
knowing the damage
4 months later she lost herself
her baby passed
and she cried
where oh where is the naive little girl?
she lifted up the clouds […]