I cant stand the depressions i keep getting.im on all these fancy medications and ive had 6 major depressions in the last year.sometimes i loose hope and just want to hide but i cant and its painful just to breath.does anyone else feel this way?
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Okay it’s Saturday………Exam day oh yeah but guess what police came to my house at 7 in the morning to take my parents car (we got them but back ) I had a huge panic attack I hate police so much and I had to go down there and now all my neighbour know my family is in debt ……………….oh yeah I meet my new therapist I kinda like her ………..gone to study before the exam thou wish me luck imma need it
hello as you can see im back… were the hell did evrey one that i knew go :'( help me please
written by why i dont no
ok so i came back after a wile and theres so meny people here i dont know iv just come back outside of a acting jpb that has made me to bisey to check up on people and its all my falt now i think its cos i was in the forcis (dont ask cos im not going to tell) but i feel like ok frends gone… get new frends then i know somewere inside that most of the people i knew are ether dead theres no two ways about that one then theres some who may just be hiding in the depths of the sp and […]
did you ever see that film into the wild if you havent stop reeding go on netflix and spend 2 houres of your life in the presents of artistic wonder rely good film any way the man in the film is troubeld by the welth and greed of the world and gos to hide in the wild he is poetic… any wayi wish i could do that just pick it all up and role on out with jacey and stick a midel finger to the world and this cost of liveing we all haft to have i feel srry for the world you know i […]
befor the days were i bent down to pick up pecis of my sole my eyes were bright my hear was long and i didunt cear as long as the sun shone high in the sky but the das are gone were i have time tolook at the sky in a world were i hafe to pay for “the cost of liveing” if you look at it its a joke the cost of being alive… im sorry but what the fuck
So I got this worksheet thrust at me today (and she even compared it to school homework) about “my intended change.” Â Hmm, somehow I think this is going to be harder than writing an analysis of some uncommon piece of Victorian literature. Â And far less interesting. Â Thing is, I’m not sure how I’m supposed to do this on my own. Â What else is new.
My intended change: Â I told her pointlessness. Â Also in the running were boredom and loneliness.
My main goals for myself in making this change: Â Um… I don’t know. Â To make life not suck?
I plan to do these things…
Other people could help me with […]
Forgive me, for I have sinned..
I have committed acts of lust
I have committed acts of hatred
I have committed acts of theft
I have committed acts of homosexuality
I have committed acts of pride
I have committed acts of greed
I have committed acts of gluttony
I have committed acts of lying
I have committed acts of being agnostic
I have committed acts of feeling suicidal
And here I stand on two feet
Waiting to be struck down
To burn, to live an eternity in Hell
I may be a sinner, but won’t my good deeds in this mortal life do anything for me in the afterlife?
Will I stand at the gates of Heaven, and fall into […]
Give me a valid reason to live and I wont go, simple as that. Please don’t give me that “You’re family and friends will miss you” bullshit. All my family is dead, all my friends left me, there is no one who loves me or cares  about me. Do you understand why I’m so bitter? Fuck living, I’ve had enough of this shit! All my life has been pain! My parents beating the shit out of me and molesting me, all my ” friends” making fun of me, I’m glad my family is dead! I’m glad I have no friends, all people do is hurt […]
I lasted 98 days without a real cut, it was the hardest thing iv ever done but my dad stopped hating me, then the voices came back and i fought it and then the thoughts got strong again, and i kept fighting until the insomnia hit. I lasted 6 days with no sleep before i cut, i cut two days in a row then last night i cut to deep and had to be taken to hospital and stitched up again. The nurses all know me at this point and they al just shake their heads at me. More stitches to add the the collection […]
I have started the process of getting a legal Will made. This is essential because if I don’t have one whatever I have goes to the next of kin which I absolutely can’t allow to happen. I feel much better knowing that this will be in place soon.
The Living Will is more challenging. I only have one friend, well, I actually have two friends but only one I can count on, however, I’m not convinced he will step up in the right way if I am in hospital and can’t make decisions for myself. I hope he can but it is a lot to ask […]
You ever feel numb inside and you just dont want to anything, Â you think about how many people you have hurt you know that you put them through so much pain. You know inside that you should just find a way to get your mind off of things but you turn your music up but your head phones on and all you think about is dying. All you want to do die. Lay in the road…JUST GET OUT OF THE WORLD.. Your ex text you and you just want to cry.. You just want to grab your blade but then you remember you flushed them […]
Hi Guys,
Welp its day 11. I just want to thank all of you who stuck with me. No this is not a goodbye note, but just a thank you. Your comments (well most of the comments) helped me and comforted me. 😀 So thank you especially to Michael, OnlyLOVEisReal, and The Koji, you guys have helped me so very much and I hope you continue to comment on my posts. 😀
Another note thing is that I do post poems, but sometimes they’re at random times, and I’m sorry for that, and so maybe you don’t see them. So I just wanted to put that out […]
Why are people so unfriendly to me? Do I give off some vibe that says don’t talk to me? My roommate gives me dirty looks. I will call her Sandra from here on out. I am not sure if this is just how her face normally looks or what but she never says hi or good morning to me, I want to say those things to her but the looks she gives me make me stay silent. I live on campus this semester, it has only been a few days but it has been very hard. I feel like I am constantly sick to […]
Im really down at the moment.i switch from being depressed to irritable and angry back and fourth my husband is sick of my bipolar and goes off at me if i cry.i just lost a really close friend and im grieving im so sad i have nothing to say i dont have the energy to do anything and i just want to be alone.im sick of being depressed ive had 6 major deppressions in the last year im just worn out im sick of taking pills im sick of myself i wish i was single so i could just hide from the world i wish […]
you don’t want them behind the wheel, but you don’t want to shove them in the trunk either.
I can feel myself being pulled under,
Deep into the depths of the ocean
I look up; I can see the dim sunlight underneath the water
The last glimpse of sunlight I’ll ever see
I use my hands to claw on to whatever I can find
But to no avail, they splash through the murky sea
I think of all the things I’ve done
The good and the bad
And how they would reflect me in my passing
Like the reflections of the sky in the ocean
Through the light and the darkness
Through the sun and the storms
My life was merely just a chapter in a book
And my chapter would be passed over for more
For […]
I try to be positive and I try to talk to people. I start smiling, and then something or someone comes along and f**ks it up. So yeah, others who deal with hard issues and live to tell the tail, Congrad-u-f**king-lations. The worst thing is not going through the bad times. The worst things is going through the bad times alone. Everyone deals with crap in their lives, but not everyone has the support or love from others. Some of us have to pay 75 f**king dollars for 50 min sessions to get our pain out in the open. The question is though, does this […]
This is my last post here.
I decided to take things into my own hands, to face with everything that comes. Something happened recently and it is really hard to look at myself in the mirror. I deserve everything bad that will happen to me because i did terrible things myself. I longed to become like people around me and i have succeeded. I never thought i will but what is left is shame. All my actions that took place the previous year were done by a selfish person. I managed to drove away all the people who truly care about me. I fell in love […]
You might at first have no purpose, drifting and coasting through life without a point, as though by accident. Then you might turn to religion but ultimately find it a hoas and unfulfilling. You might try to be an overachiever but it’s pointless when you realise we all finish last when we die. You might turn to art for expression but find your own attempts a facade. You might try very hard at something and realise it was meaningless, you might give up and feel even worse. You might turn to love someone or something unconditionally only to have it spit in your face in […]
dear friends, yesterday was very bad ,bad today is even worse.everytime im outside i feel like sinking in that sea of sadness ,im such a tiny creation in a huge world ,and in the middle of the crowd i walk alone witha noticable weary face
sometimes while im walking my tears would be falling down and i cant hold them from falling ,but i become so afread from other people s looks ,because i have always wished to be strong ,carefree and self confident ,i never understand why i cant acheive that .this is not the only thing i question myself about everyday […]