Tag:

in the

you’ve already said if for me better than I ever could

by Rotted_Flesh 7/28/2015

written by Rotted_Flesh

It’s a terrible statement but I never let it leave my side. That sickening realization that I’m done with this fight. Moments kneeling on the bedroom floor sickened by the entity I had absorbed, no more. I would not let the self-scrutinizing endeavor endure a precipice a monologue questioning my every motive. My disaster stricken heart feeling broken, my emotions quoted spilling out of a broken vase taking the place of what was once your emotion.

Diluted with tears, an open book scribbled with fears engraved pools of ink I’m vocally shook; and I’m tired of telling myself that it’s gonna change.

Taken by the spectacular lie […]

7/28/2015 1 comment

Why Now

by hiitsme0819 7/28/2015

written by hiitsme0819

gone away now does he dare
take the path that leads nowhere
all alone and without hope
he’ll no longer have to cope

just a sip is all it takes
to wash away all his mistakes
half asleep and fading fast
now his pain will finally pass

now he’s gone and how they cry
in the grounds where he will lie
no one cared when he was here
why now must they shed a tear

7/28/2015 0 comment

Onision – Now very Unsure

by lulereign 7/28/2015

written by lulereign

I really don’t know what to feel about myself at the moment. I’m not sure how to word this, but I just go ahead anyway. I’ve recently been watching Onision videos since he popped out on my Recommended List.

I checked out his videos on cutting on a whim, and frankly speaking, he’s super blunt. I’m not going to lie, the way he says it all, about how cutting is ‘attention whoring’, and that cutters are ‘stupid, and crazy’ kinda hit me hard. He says that I should be grateful that I have a roof over my head and a good education and all the opportunities […]

7/28/2015 5 comments

I’m Not Okay and It’s Not Alright

by MentallyWeak 7/28/2015

written by MentallyWeak

Sometimes I always go into deep thought about my life. Sometimes I feel like i have good days. But then at night i just think. Like, why should i live if i know people dont want me around? Why should i have to live, constantly feeling like people hate me for no reason? Why should I live, knowing there’s no reason to? My mom doesn’t know that i feel this way. But if i try telling her she’ll say im stupid . My guess is that she just doesn’t want to believe that i could feel this way.

My mom is a nurse and she […]

7/28/2015 4 comments

This might make me sound like a horrible person…

by hopeisafourletterword 7/28/2015

written by hopeisafourletterword

I have very little sympathy for Bobbi Kristina’s family. They forced that poor girl to stay alive far too long after it was determined there was nothing they could do to save her. Whether she did it to herself or if her boyfriend killed her, whether she wanted to die or not, it’s safe to say that she suffered through 3 long years of unimaginable grief. I’m more inclined to believe that she killed herself, but that’s just me.
If I were her, all I would want is to be with my mother, not wasting a hospital bed while my family begs me to make […]

7/28/2015 5 comments

Pope On Horse

by Bisban 7/27/2015

written by Bisban

I got nowhere

I’m singing to no-one

Another

Making the signal

Across, to the building

My queen, how do I revolve in the idle

Turn-off your light, and dream about

I had to be, this

Malediction, Muk

The voice of Espeon, will do nothing

Pokemon, X

Cure

How am I here

Forces

7/27/2015 1 comment

still here

by Katki 7/27/2015

written by Katki

Didn’t get what i needed

But i talked to someone and it calmed me down

Im still here- scared as hell.. feel like shit

But I want you to know that your comments (on my last post) today – i read them and they matter to me. Thank you

When you feel so alone and cut off its hard to see anything but the darkness..its around me and in me – its trying to win and i’m trying to fight.. i want to give up so badly but something keeps me here… Right now, i keep running to my room for solace- i have panic attacks and the feeling of overwhelming dread […]

7/27/2015 4 comments

Competition

by dead 7/27/2015

written by dead

nothing irritates me more than being compared to others. If I say I’m a fuck up, don’t ask if I’m the most fucked up person in the world. If I am sad, don’t tell me “at least you aren’t homeless, broke, abused” whatever. Don’t tell me how people have it worse or how small and irrelevant my problems are. They’re still fucking issues that effect me. Don’t make me feel small, unnecessary, irrelevant. That is the most shallow thing someone can say to another person on a suicide website, a suicide network. Fuck you. Sadness isn’t a competition.

7/27/2015 14 comments

I wish I could sleep forever

by Myragestatic 7/26/2015

written by Myragestatic

I wish I could sleep forever, feel nothing but rested.
Idleness brings my sorrow, analysing and analysing.
Ever alone in this cage, some days I am on the outside.
A waste of time in the space of a breath.

How could I be such a fool?

I wish I could sleep forever, rather than take my life.
Dream deeply of cryptic patterns and events, even I cannot grasp or understand.
But still, in time, I would wake.
And this twisted feeling would begin again.

There would be much undone, by not being here.
This ultimately is what stays my hand.
To make others feel as I do would […]

7/26/2015 2 comments

So Tired…..

by BrokenAngel8 7/25/2015

written by BrokenAngel8

I have been feeling so down these past few days emotionally mostly out of loneliness and past thoughts haunting me. I really want to go down to the local festival tonight. But I don’t want to go a lone. It gets depressing watching the happy couples walk around and the groups of friends. My dating life is pretty much in the pits right now. I have talked to a few guys since me and my ex broke up but they led to no where and I got to be honest most of the single guys around my area suck! well due to the fact that […]

7/25/2015 1 comment

I don’t got much left

by Bisban 7/25/2015

written by Bisban

Hello, friend
Yours, horrid and gruesome
I’m sorry if you ever saw in sludge
How can it ever to a profound if I can’t even stand
Friend, the title of this one is
What do I do in this alone
My naval clan still yet to comprehend
The objective, of the Grimer
If you dare

“…”

If you reach, in the pits
Revolve, from the viscous matter
Just for a moment
To take on, the damned

7/25/2015 1 comment

send someone to really love me

by rao 7/25/2015

written by rao

Hi this is my first Post, am 37 married mother of 4 kids and I deeply depressed, for so long I can not remember when I wasn’t, situations in my life are some of the reasons which contribute to my feelings, I recently found out my husband of 13years was cheating on me and even when I confronted him he didn’t even apologize just gave me a cold shoulder worse of all he doesn’t take of us well and if you ask him to provide for the kids he always say he doesn’t have money so many a times am left to carry urge burden […]

7/25/2015 12 comments

Grand Schizo day!

by Schiz018 7/25/2015

written by Schiz018

OK so today the voices were on and on about shit. Then this entity began making shit funny. It makes light of the dark shit that can surround my soul sometimes.

They modify words get carried away with songs, make me hear shit that ain’t there but sounds like it is. But I’m too smart for the voices I know its them. I have at least 6 or 7 different characters that come and go. Everything from little girls to evil entities that curse and swear and crack me up. That’s when they’re not trying to make me suicidal.

I’m trying to find successful stories of Schizo’s […]

7/25/2015 0 comment

My prayer

by bayareaguy 7/24/2015

written by bayareaguy

My Lord God, I have no idea where I’m going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end….Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.

7/24/2015 7 comments

My Life: Chapter 2 (age 5 to 6/7)

by wndozh8er 7/24/2015

written by wndozh8er

As I said in my pervious post, I was living with my grandparents who i seen and still see as my mother and father. Just before I started kindergarten, my biodad moved a few states away to North Carolina in 1989. I took it very hard and it was like a death to me. I only saw him once a year or so after that.

Then I started kindergarten in the fall of that year. I was scared to death and never was exposed to a lot of children before then. That same year my grandpa on my biomoms side got locked in his bathroom. It […]

7/24/2015 0 comment

I want to attempt suicide

by 133Gone 7/24/2015

written by 133Gone

I use the word attempt because I don’t want to succeed.

I’m too weak to actually plan on dying.

But, I feel like if things continue the way they are, then nothing will change.

I’ve been depressed since I was 8 years old, and I’m now 15.

My mum took me to the doctors for low mood and I got referred to counselling.

I haven’t been diagnosed with depression, but there’s no doubt that I have it. I stopped going to counselling because it just wasn’t helping.

I feel like a suicide attempt will mean getting help. I’ve talked to the doctors with my mum three times now and we’re getting […]

7/24/2015 5 comments

and it begins

by Dorothy Gale 7/24/2015

written by Dorothy Gale

I don’t know how I can stay afloat in a world that is so harsh and cruel. I can’t seem to pretend, like everyone else, that it’s okay, that I’m okay. I can’t “suck it up.” If I try that, I eventually explode, which is basically what happened last night at work. I’m too weak, too sensitive. No place in the world for someone like that. Even in nursing there is so much bullshit to go around. I just don’t belong anywhere. My efforts are for nothing.

7/24/2015 2 comments

My life, Chapter 1 (age zero to 5)

by wndozh8er 7/24/2015

written by wndozh8er

I was scrolling though my calendar on my iPad, remembering dates. As I scrolled it seemed like life flashed before my eyes. Where did I go wrong? I have a great memory so I looked at all the months of my life (December 1983 till now) and counted the good times and bad.

I heard my first two years of my life was very chaotic. I don’t think I have any memories at all back then. My parents got divorced when I was two.

One of my first memories as a child was in the summer of 1986. My mother (who is a psychopath herself) was fighting […]

7/24/2015 4 comments

Still Here

by Thisisme21 7/24/2015

written by Thisisme21

Day Three of this forum. I have got some anti-depressants also typically prescribed for people with PTSD. I think that pretty much sums up what I have. Extreme anxiety, constantly stuck in ‘Fear’ mode – fight or flight.

I’ve fought the system for a long time, I’ve been anti-medication but I am honestly grateful now hopefully for a bit of relief. I know the meds come with potential side-effects and I am already experiencing some nausea but hoping that in the long run the good outweighs the bad.

I am also going to have some counselling sessions set up for me. So let’s watch this space. For […]

7/24/2015 0 comment

Simply nothing more to give

by M3T4LH34D 7/22/2015

written by M3T4LH34D

i cant understand people and i will never do . i cant hurt anyone but myself even though everyone tries to hurt me. i just dont wanna exist anymore. people telling lies all around me . others dont believe in me. im a that normal or they are just too blinded. i have gone insane, im telling them that, nobody gives a shit. I cant even write this post without thinking about diffrent topics in the same time. i just feel that nothing else, no one else matters. still looking for that one reason for me to stay alive , and still havent found it. my […]

7/22/2015 2 comments

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