Is God there? I mean, there are tons of different opinions on this and any of them could be right. I honestly don’t invest anything in God or any other kind of religion. I mean if there was something out there why would we be here? Why would the site exist? Why would he punish us with whatever’s wrong with us? It doesn’t make sense to me but you know… I guess you could say some shit about the bible or whatever but honestly most of the bible is basically justifying why God doesn’t do anything, so it kinda sounds like a crock of shit to anyone with a cynical […]
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You were the only one I could really talk to. The only one I could tell when I wasn’t feeling alright. Only you don’t know that, you probably think it’s the opposite, that I don’t want to talk to you.
And now, you tell me you think I don’t even want to get better. Well, I don’t. Not really. I’m not cut out for it.
I would go right now but you’d probably find me.
I’ll do it tomorrow morning, when you’re out.
Don’t think it doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I do, unconditionally. But this is how it’s meant to be.
I had 2 dreams last night. The […]
Money. It’s truly evil. Or in some part evil. I’m sitting here thinking to myself that if I had money, just maybe I wouldn’t feel like my only escape is death. I’m trying not to give up but, shit, winter is just dragging my ass down. I can’t escape from this hell I’m lock away in because going outside entitles freezing my ass off… With no car, it’s extremely hard to get anywhere… You would never guess that a vehicle is almost the most important thing, next to a place to live. I’m pretty much poor… Boyfriend can’t get anywhere to work so his mom […]
If it is to keep your life. No warning, i’m pulling a major trigger tonight. Last year 2014 (i know its hard to remember that passed) on september 11th as survivor of war left her suicide note here. Her note ended in the most hurtful self loathing lie that anyone could tell themself. This person’s handle here was trippylikenirvana. The tale she tells so clearly of her most early traumas are left to haunt us not by the images they bring forth in our minds, but by the utter cloud of confusion that formed around her after. This woman experienced a trauma early in life […]
The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding.
Hello,
I am sure that all of you have heard your share of troubles, so I will spare the details. Suffice to say that I need a reason to continue on. I have been up and down, and lower. One of my shrinks always tells me that you can only feel as high as you have been low. . .I have yet to submerge into that euphoria. I struggle to find any real reason to continue on. What is the point? Share a couple laughs with others? Live a monotonous; day to day life. I’ve traveled, performed for people from just about every class level, studied, […]
heres my story:
I am an 18 year old girl with very few friends. I just dropped out of college and moved back in with my mom because I have no where else to go. I dropped out of college because I fucked up my grades. I’ve never had many friends, I went to 4 high schools because I was always moving.
My mom and I fight a lot. I found a job but I have no one to hang out with. It’s depressing. I am tall, slim and pretty with long hair. I am super shy and it’s hard for me to talk to people. Guys […]
If I were to describe myself in one word it would be just that: weak. I hate myself so much I can’t stand to look in the mirror everyday. I hate myself for allowing all of these awful things to happen to me. If I would have just listened to my gut instinct and walked away from a lot of situations (including meeting you), I wouldn’t be in this position right now. I hate you and more importantly, I hate myself for not staying away from you. You have completely wrecked every part of my life and I know that it gives you an immense […]
Last year around this time, I was admitted to the hospital for my severe depressive disorder…or whatever the fuck they called it. So I got to stay in the chamber of insanity hospital for about 5 agonizing days and missed my brother’s birthday.
I’ve been in therapy about a year now, longest I’ve ever been continually going. Along the way I got to be diagnosed with something lovingly called PTSD. That shit right there likes to tag-team with all the other emotions you got and send you into a downhill whirlwind. I would like to personally thank 3 people, no names mentioned, for disowning me, molesting […]
as i stand in the shower with you absent
i wish that all the fucking memories would wash away and go down the drain
i wish that all the pain and emotions would drain out of me
so i couldn’t feel this bittersweet emotion
my body still craves you
like you’re my fucking drug
but my mind knows that you’re so shitty
and bad for me
and i shouldn’t keep up this addiction to your love and affection
but i fucking cant because you’re the only fucking person
the only fucking person that tells me sweet nothings at 2AM when im so fucking vulnerable
you […]
I am a 16 year old boy and have been suffering depression for the past 4 years and still on going. I’ve had problems with my brother and parents, my friends and my faith, and lastly myself. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I have complied with my parents and doctors rules and still nothing. I’m totally lost right now. I have attempted suicide many times but have failed in the process and I have been confined in the psychiatric unit twice already, but nothing still seems to have changed expect for the fact that my condition keeps getting worse and worse. I hate […]
Hi,
So today I was almost run over because a garbage truck backed off. Before he drove back when I was behind it, the last action was that he drove forward thus making me think it is safe. He might not have seen me, but this is still his role to make sure it was clear I went to his window to get a story.
-> the police told me it is the right of the driver to do this… they did not show much concern that I was BEHIND the car at that time and that it was not clear what he was doing as a […]
Helplessness is such a cruel thing… I feel my lowest when I feel helpless. But it wasn’t always like this. I was happy, I was in control, I had strength but when I get stuck in this helplessness hole I crumble. But I know theres a way out but I don’t have the right idea to inspire myself out of this. I need to make my mind positive but it’s hard. My friend saved me once in a moment of pure unjudgemental love but this time feels different. There is something I yearn for in my heart. It really depresses me that I’m not as […]
That’s what it’s called. The happy moment interrupted suddenly by the painful thought, “God, I’m so stupid, I wish I could die.” It’s so silly, I can’t cross a bridge anymore, or stand near a high window, without it creeping up on me. “One jump, two seconds, splat! It’s all over.” You think that you’re happy, but all of a sudden the sanctuary of your mind is no longer safe. You have to tiptoe around your own thoughts, control the urges, try your damndest to keep it just that. Passive. Because if you take that leap, if you make that plan, if you reach for […]
I’ve done bad things. I mean really, seriously bad. Not the ‘everybody makes mistakes’ sort, but the kind you don’t get forgiven for. It’s been a while since I was at my worst, but if I’m honest I haven’t really changed. In the right circumstances, I would do it again. That part of me is still there, and although rationally I know that giving in to it won’t make me happy, if I get desperate enough all bets are off.
Of course there’s always a price. I don’t think I can ever be myself again, with anyone. I can’t reveal who or what I really am, […]
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
The people who live in this world are all pieces of shit and some are even worse than me. Wrost of all the majority can’t even see that their lives are worthless.
Life doesn’t have a meaning so they try their hard to find something to fullfil the fucking hole in the middle of their chests. And they think that’s OK.
I just don’t kill myself because I’m too afraid of what happens then. So I’ll have to fight for something I don’t want and see the world like a fucking rainbow and be HOPEFUL.
FUCK THIS SHIT.
It’s funny isn’t it? We make plans and nine times out of ten they never come to fruition. I feel like my clock is ticking down. Do you remember that music video by Nickelback, I don’t know what song it was for, but it had a guy who could see when people were going to die by using little LED clocks above their heads.
Yeah, I feel like that guy when I look in the mirror, only the time keeps jumping around. I think it’s levelling out and there isn’t much left.
I’m cold and shivering all over and I can’t warm myself up. My legs barely […]
i dont know who i am any more. the people and things that i used to enjoy only serve to upset me. the magic is gone. i have no friends left and no will to make another. what purpose do i have? i cant find satisfaction any were let alone peace of mind. its like a constant screaming match in my head. nothing feels right any more, nothing feels real. im tired. i just want this to be over. i cant pull the trigger ive tried so now i just lay in bed at night crying hoping i wont wake up in the morning. this […]
Anyone have a memorable experience with the passing of a pet friend?
by Mizuki1000
written by Mizuki1000
Today I buried my dog. My best friend an only child like me could’ve had. I had to dig the hole and put her in it. The thing that made me so pissed was the fact my grandmother would not help me pick her up and tried to make me bend her legs to get her to fit in the hole I told her was small. I had to move her body to the side of the hole to make it bigger. My grandma did not tell me she wasn’t acting normal. I ate breakfast, and played on a computer while my dog was dying.
My […]