I moved to university in 2013, and was so happy to finally live near friends and be out of my house.
Stuff has gotten better and better. I found work and stayed here over the summer. I started dating a fantastic guy. I found a group of great girlfriends. I should be happy.
But im not. The same pain that was there when everything sucked is still here. I still lie in bed almost every might just bawling, wishing I didn’t have to wake up in the morning.
I want to die. I want to give up completely. But I’m scared of screwing up even that. I’m scared of breaking my boyfriends heart.
But everything takes so much energy and I hurt so much. I hate hiding my pain from my boyfriend, because I know he cares. But I can’t bring myself to show him the full extent to which I’m depressed.
Im so freaking tired.