Tag:

it all

And The Scars Remind Us..

by Kitty 11/11/2014

written by Kitty

can’t cut. made a promise. not that he’d find out. bars. captured. trapped. prison. burn my skin. bubbling. blistering. open. exclamations. under my breath. laughing. you asking. why. makes me better. the panic attacks. stop. fade. breathing. meditation. calming. focusing. on the pain. think it’s stupid. don’t want me to do it. again. scarred. regret. not now. not then.

self-mutilation. punishment. feeling. don’t have time for that shit. oblivious. addicting. no deep. well rehearsed. reason. i need it. simple fact. if i don’t have that. hold it all in. bottle it up. no outlet. nothing. no way to deal. handle. cope. heard that’s unhealthy. and my […]

11/11/2014 4 comments

Contemplating Suicide

by brain.washed.youth 11/10/2014

written by brain.washed.youth

will it ever get easier ?
ive tried many things to bring myself out if this dark place.
its like im stuck and every horrible thing is on replay.
and i just want the thoughts to stop.
maybe killing myself will make it all better.
write a note saying its not my families fault.
that i was just sad unhappy with the person ive become.
im fat , alone , suicidal , and just want to disappear for a while.
i want to be forgotten when i die so my family wont be sad.
i just want it to get better.

11/10/2014 3 comments

“Why don’t you just get help”?

by WiltedRoses88 11/8/2014

written by WiltedRoses88

If I had a dollar for everytime I have heard someone use that phrase (in reference to anyone, not just me), I would be a millionaire. It is difficult to even dream of getting more “help” when you have taken every medication available for anxiety and depression and talked to a variety of counselors only to have it all blow up in your face. The medication made me put on fifty pounds (which took almost two years to lose) and the last counselor I was seeing told me word for word that I was a selfish coward for even considering suicide. Years later, all of that wasted time, effort and […]

11/8/2014 4 comments

CONFUSED

by lifeloser 11/6/2014

written by lifeloser

This is my first time on here. I don’t even know what I am doing. I have suicidal thoughts. I am 40 years old nd feel as though I havn’t amounted to much in this life. I feel like a complete loser. Lost my main source of income a year or so ago. No retirement or savings of any kind. The reason I lost my job is making it very very difficult to get another one. It was my life and passion. I don’t feel that my friends and colleagues listen to me or respect me enough. I am always wrong and whenever I have […]

11/6/2014 13 comments

Love Poem For Death

by AshCoveredAngel 11/6/2014

written by AshCoveredAngel

Back in the days made imaginary, loving you was ordinary.

Grown now I miss how you held me me down.

Word of your eternal kiss had filled me with pure bliss, who was I to dismiss you in my future?

A rare guarantee made by life, I had pretended to be your wife, isn’t that suppose to be forever?

I found a new lover we took the vow to be bound, however the day without sound will come and you’ll tear it all apart.

To you, a promise made with the heart is a waste, based from the idea of time.

No matter how I love, you’ll remind, ” AshCoveredAngel you’re […]

11/6/2014 0 comment

lucky I was feeling up…

by RealTalk30 11/5/2014

written by RealTalk30

So ok, something happened tonight.. you might think it’s funny, you may not. I’m unbiased about it for the time being. But i guess..put yourself in this position.

Was just chatting with Internet companions for a few hours and one of them started flirting with me. This all happened with in the course of like 30 minutes…anyways. i chat with these people all the time.. I thought this was a girl, I myself being a guy. I guess I just didn’t notice before but I thought for sure I remember this friend being a girl. I post pictures of myself that people like to see, […]

11/5/2014 3 comments

by pondersaurus 11/4/2014

written by pondersaurus

It’s funny. What it all comes down to in the end. I thought id want to pack down my room for my parents. I thought I’d want to write an individual letter for every person I cared about. I thought I’d assign my belongings in writing, making each and every one a symbolic gift for those whom I adored. I’d thought I’d wear my favourite clothes and think about all my favourite things as I farewelled this life. But it turns out […]

11/4/2014 3 comments

This week

by iwishiwassomeonebetter 11/2/2014

written by iwishiwassomeonebetter

I think I am going to do it this week. I won’t say how but too be honest i have tried everything to fix myself and nothing works. The woman I love so dearly has given up on me and our friendship because I can’t stop seeing another woman that gives me nothing, it’s all my fault and I feel as though I’m drowning every day. My uni work is piling and piling and piling and regardless that I graduate in a few months time it’s not enough to keep me going.

I never used to be depressed. I was so happy at one stage in […]

11/2/2014 2 comments

every good thing i have i destroyed

by constantlymessingup 11/2/2014

written by constantlymessingup

I don’t know why I bother going to therapy. I don’t know why I bother telling her the things I can’t talk about with anyone else. I don’t know why I try to get better, because I always find a way to fuck it up.

I fucked up today. It may cost me a job I had been relying on getting offered.

I don’t know what to do any more. I don’t know how to keep trying when I keep making it all wrong. I just exist wrong, and you know, maybe some people do. Maybe I’m just an aberration and I should have got the picture […]

11/2/2014 1 comment

Death by chocolate.

by Nevereverland 11/2/2014

written by Nevereverland

The depression has completely taken over me now and it’s only day two… I can’t remember how long these episodes take. I tried to eat, chocolate not healthy but something i might enjoy. I just threw it all back up.
I don’t deverse to eat.
Two days without food.
I can’t even make myself get out of bed to get water.

That will be how I die. The one way I have full control over myself. No one can make me eat.

11/2/2014 3 comments

The Fifth Word was “Abyss”

by Nathaniel_Morisawa 11/2/2014

written by Nathaniel_Morisawa

I am slowly coming to honest terms with the fact that, against all of my efforts, there truly is no hope for me. Whatever good things that I either create for myself or just happen upon me are all illusions whose ugly truths get revealed eventually.

I cannot trust my mom or my dad. Or the various mentors in my life.

I cannot trust my sister.

I don’t know if I can trust my brother, although ironically he’s shattered my trust many times in the past.

I cannot trust the only person who has ever really known me and who said the words, “I will always love you.”

I no longer have friends to break my trust.

This February, […]

11/2/2014 2 comments

LATE NIGHT ALUMNI

by tctc 11/1/2014

written by tctc

Should I think to give it all,
In a world where not much
Ever seems to last long?

11/1/2014 4 comments

Stay Strong

by sweet_weapon723 10/29/2014

written by sweet_weapon723

No matter how bad your life may be right now. It seems to always get better. You just have to keep your head up. I’ve went through it all. Never thought I would be where I am today. Thanks to my mom and the help I got. Know that you’re not alone. We all have problems. You don’t have to face them alone. If you ever need help im always here for anyone that needs it. You’re king, you’re a queen. Stay beautiful. Stay strong. <3

10/29/2014 0 comment

raven

by jba211994 10/29/2014

written by jba211994

I have this friend who has been clinically diagnosed with severe depression. I have only known her for a little over a year but within that time period we have become so close that now I can call her my best friend and my rock. I have not told her about my depression though, but I think it is better this way. I am afraid to tell her how bad I am because then I am afraid that she will think that I am only making it up to be like her. I am not a conformist nor do I ever plan to be, but […]

10/29/2014 1 comment

17 dasy left

by ghost walking 10/29/2014

written by ghost walking

i’ve done amazing things in my life, had some incredible experiences. most of my life was as a professional creative… now.. 17 days left. I tried once in ’97 didn’t expect to wake up…

i won’t make that mistake again… i hope.

so much anguish..i gave it a year then another year and another now i have lost every thing.. or about to. betrayed and lied to. a job so miserable i almost pull my hair out to survive a bad call.. i used to earn $72 an hour and that was low for what i did .. and now . its humiliation and abuse i abide […]

10/29/2014 1 comment

nothing

by lost hope 10/29/2014

written by lost hope

where did it all go so wrong. it wasn’t just one event but a build up a slow etching away of humanity and life, you take away this and I settle for that. then this and this and this and that is gone. Wait there is more to lose and I settle for that…no that is not enough this is gone too and even more…no walks in the park, no hugging your dog no gong to work and put up with the regular BS, no family to talk to, no face to recognize…. NOTHING left of value or importance, what left too look forward too

10/29/2014 2 comments

Trying to get through

by beatlesfan 10/27/2014

written by beatlesfan

I found this site while searching for ways to make suicide appear to be accidental. At first I thought it was a place for methods, but after reading other people’s stories, I figured it couldn’t really hurt to share my situation, just to see if getting it out there will help me out any.

I married the love of my life a little under two weeks ago. We’ve lived together for almost two years now, so he knows how bad my depression gets. I feel terrible because I’m always hurting him. He can tell when I’m sad, and he doesn’t understand why I won’t tell him […]

10/27/2014 4 comments

My best friend killed himself

by braindead buddha 10/26/2014

written by braindead buddha

I’ve always struggled with depression, and thoughts of suicide. Not sure why, just can’t seem to shake this ball of acid in my chest -. Anger/misery/disappointment. The focus sometimes dwindles but never entirely cuts off. and every time it comes back it gets more intense. Just under a month ago my best friend killed himself. We used to talk a lot about these feelings (we both shared). He obviously had enough of it all though. I just feel so fucking alone. I’ve wept every day since I found out. On top of this I’m experiencing severe body pains, my legs seem to be gradually failing […]

10/26/2014 4 comments

What’s happening

by RealTalk30 10/26/2014

written by RealTalk30

I don’t want to kill myself..I want to live my life and be happy. I’m trying so hard to hold it together but I’m fucking it all up. I have so much to live for it shouldn’t be this fucking hard to stand confident.
I finally met this beautiful girl that likes me and wants to spend time and she’s already catching on to my depression. I’ve shown enough good parts of myself to make her see I’m a great guy but I literally can’t control the way I feel when I’m all alone. I’m fucking this all up. No, No this can’t be me..it […]

10/26/2014 9 comments

The Reaper’s Day Off

by Roars Kilde 10/26/2014

written by Roars Kilde

I burn so fierce, though the rain pours in drowning surge, it neither puts out my fire nor overwhelms my breath.
So I take another pill lying here in the gutter, trying to dampen the pain booze couldn’t quench. As wishes leave my heart, and mind realize the truth behind the naive, my eye glance at the wound on my wrist, and a small stream of red in the water rushing down, far into the distant. Seems the rain doesn’t erase at once.
Smiling, as another pill is swallowed, for my broken bones ache so bad from the fall. Such luck to land […]

10/26/2014 0 comment

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