So this is just a stupid rant so read or not. ..
Im sitting on a crowded bus with class dust and tiny fragments of glass from work stuck to my sweaty skin cos the air con is not working on this bus. Some guy has tried to jam himself onto my seat when its fucking abvious im having trouble folding my 6’4″ body into a seat made for a person who is 5′. I keep sweating and thatmmakes me more Iitchy.
I feel like everyone is staring at me. Anxiety thru the roof. 2 girls behind will not shut the fuck up!!
“Like […]
Tag:
jam
The friend I got to know with a mutual fetish and I ended up really liking beyond. I don’t know what kind of relationship it was. More then a platonic friendship, yet no serious commintment.
I guess it is my fault that I love him. Him for showing me something caring, sensual and loving without wanting to get into my pants.
He broke it to me a week ago. When we saw us first and had a lovely day together and wanting to repeat it some time later he actually saw another one. A real, biological woman and not just some wannabe.
He said he was sorry that he lied to […]
I’m wide awake. I’d rather be asleep but I’m having horrible allergies today. Spent a lot of time outside and the trees are greening up and flowering and I’m getting crazy spring allergies. Even with medication. I spent my outside time working on one of my gardens, this year I want to have two, one just for flowers and plants, the other for vegetables, fruits and herbs. I planted two hydrangeas and moved a bunch of plants to a different area. I don’t really have that much garden space so I have to be creative. I am so alive when I work outside in the […]
Why?? Well it’s simply a douche-y thing to do. Don’t get me wrong carrying a pocket knife can be a very useful tool, let me clarify, I am specifically referring to a combat knife of some sort. Playing with a knife, sure it’s something to do with your hands, and you can get lost in it for a moment, but I find that people who collect, play, and display their knife sets to be a particular type of douche. I know, I know, it’s what makes a person happy that’s important, and seriously I am all for that, but I have a difficult time understanding […]
I’m sat in my room right now just singing out loud and it takes me back to every time someone has caught me doing this.
When I’m gone I hope you all think back to these moments
My sister’s reaction would be to turn her music up louder than me.
My brother would complain about wailing cats.
There we those two friends who’d come in and sing with me.
Or the one who’d just smile and dance along.
And the one who wanted to jam and mash up my song with his.
And sure, some would complain and tell me to shut up.
But there were those who’d let me finish and then […]
In the past few months I slipped into a deeper than my usual constant state of depression and decided ‘that’s it, either I die or I stop living like this.’
I went to my doctor for sleeping problems and was prescribed Trazadone. It’s made me improve a noticeable amount, at least with sleep. I thought maybe I could get better, but what do I look up tonight? I want to kill myself. A third of my life’s been shadowed by depression and I’m tired. The second I got the prescription to the pharmacy I was looking up overdosing on it. Would I be easy, would […]
It’s suicide vs the survival instinct.
Both ideas and feelings generated from the same brain. So why would the brain want us to survive and die ? wheres the logic ?
a short example:
experiencing a full manic episode, you a hold a knife up to your heart, you’re convinced all you wanna do is jam that baby in there, it starts with a nice big confident swing but then just before impact your arm goes soft ? or your mind goes numb and nothing happens ?? And for what. What possible reason
Some kind of fucked up cosmic joke.
Hi 🙂
What will I type? What message am I oddly eager to send, although once I begin typing I have to force myself to continue. This terrible apathy that I have acquired, where I care not when I see my mother rotting away, a wasted life, why do I feel the need to add one more silly post in the thousands that languish here already. In this curious journey of reaching another state of mind, I find myself hating my apathy, oh the irony. All that we, the youth at least, need is a sense of purpose. And if not that, then we would oh so […]