I’m exhausted. January 2nd was my date. All set then I had a psych assessment appt come through so I thought I’d move it to the 3rd… Then a job interview on the 4th ok so the 4th is my day. Fucks sake! How do you people not notice? A psych evaluation where I pour my heart out about how I’m not going to be here next week and still evokes nothing? Why am I surprised tho? This system has failed me so many times so I should know right? Wrong, my selfish, self involved side took over and thought someone would give a […]
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Job Interview
I was making a presentation today for a job interview and I came to the conclusion that I don’t really care about it. It doesn’t matter if I have the best job in the world, or if im smarter than anyone else. If im alone then I am the loser in the end.
So I am going to organize my life around the correct priorities. So no more games. they just numb the pain of being alone. This site is kind of doing the same. I spend a lot of time here and I guess its probably not the best thing for me. I should be going places and doing things. Which is very […]
I know this is ridiculously long and most of you won’t care about what I have to say. That’s okay. I just needed to release some depression somewhere. I’ve been feeling worse and worse lately even though I know I’m trying to head in the right direction. I just needed to vent some frustration. I always say I’m doing this for me, changing for myself, but it still kills me when my family shows me how worthless I am… so here are my thoughts for the past week.
I’m amazed at how well I’ve become at wearing a mask. I’m able to conceal my emotions so […]
I’m so sick of people acting like they know me…. They don’t. They think they do but they don’t. And I really just need someone to know my story. Sometimes it’s comferting knowing someone has your story.
It started when I was 4…. my parents got divorced. When I was 5 my dog died… no big deal right? Wrong. I was 5, my dog was my best friend. When I was in 2nd grade me and my mom moved to Tennessee over the summer. I thought we were just staying for the summer. No. We were moving… To get away from my dad. Since […]
Hello, well if you haven’t read my other post my name is bree, I’m 16 yrs old & I lost my dad & a brother to suicide within 2 year after their deaths I droppes outta school & didn’t do anything but sleep up to 20 hours a day i gave up on life.
Its been 2 months now that I’ve gone back to school & learned how to cope with my depression, all I gave myself was time& now I’ve got a job interview on Monday & I have the opportunity to graduate on time. Life is falling back into place I thought id […]
I woke up this morning with the one who walked away in my head. Then I had to see her. I can’t stop crying and I have a job interview in just under an hour. I really believe if I left this planet nobody would even notice at first. My Facebook friends would still be sending me game requests I am not answering anyway. My crew at the karaoke bar I frequent would go on drinking and singing. I doubt anyone would really even care.
i hate my anxiety. i hate my mental illness. i can’t work because of it. working terrifies me. every time I’ve went to a job interview I’ve had a panic attack or have had to take an Ativan and have been to drugged to be lucid enough to be interviewed. the older i get and the less work experience i acquire the worse it will get. eventually I’ll be 30 applying for a job. and an employer will see my application and ask why a 30 year old has never worked before. and I’ll have to say its because I’m mentally ill. there’s a lot […]