I haven’t slept properly in days, I keep throwing up everything I eat, I’m having panic attacks. I live with my boyfriend and he’s sitting in the lounge laughing with his friend, he doesn’t know if he wants to be with me or not just making it worse. I have no-one to talk too nowhere to go all I keep imagining is how to kill myself. I’ve taken drugs they dont work. I just want to die. All I want is not to feel so empty. I just need someone.
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kill
I’m so tired of feeling alone. My friends tell me they care about me and that they’d kill themselves if I ever did. I don’t believe a word that comes out of their mouth. I’m so tired of being here. Why haven’t I killed myself? I ask myself that every damn day. I wish I knew someone who understood me. I’m glad there’s a lot of people here on this website that can relate to me. We all really want something in live. Well, what I really want is to be dead..
I can’t anymore. I physically can’t. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t be of use to anyone. I can’t keep my hands from shaking. I can’t keep my breathing even. I can’t stop myself from cutting my body up. I can’t love. I can’t cry. I can’t keep this up anymore. I can’t seem to care. But the biggest can’t I have in my life is how I can’t seem to kill myself just yet. What am I waiting for? Can’t. Can’t. Can’t. That’s all I seem to think in terms of. Was. I want to be was. I was struggling. I was suicidal. […]
Please, could anyone help? I won’t go into the details our reasons why just yet ( I’m happy to share but I’m a lousy writer and I don’t want to waste anyone’s time ) but my mother is looking for ways to kill herself. there’s a chance it could purely be cathartic, but still. I plan on approaching her about it somehow, but does anyone have any preferred suicide hotlines to suggest? Or maybe online forums? I don’t think she’d like sp…..She may want something for people over 50. I’ve never used a hotline before, but when I talk […]
TRIGGER WARNING
So I guess here’s a little about me. I choose not tell my age because I feel that just gives a reason for people to tell me that I have a long life ahead of me and things will get better and yada yada all the bullshit I’ve heard my entire life. Anyway, I have struggled with severe depression and anxiety since third grade as well as self harm and an eating disorder since fifth. I’ve attempted to kill myself twice before, the first one was not serious and I was in 8th grade and my mom found me and forced me to take […]
A disclaimer to the world.
I really don’t belong. There’s no conceivable place on this planet where I belong.
The public is my enemy. If you put someone in front of me, I’ll do everything in my power to disregard them, including not-disregarding them. My mask is so genuine that it even deceives myself half the time, such is the cost of being able to blend into society, and avoid being a homeless bum the rest of my pitiful existence (of which will continue to be a pitiful existence, bum or not, however bums are publicly pitiful, which is why I’m willing to throw myself away most […]
I dont want to feel this way anymore, but the only way for ghe pain to stop is if i just end it end it all. Is it wrong for me want a perfect life, but i already know i will never get that. I got in a fight with my grandparents on saturday for that they made it seem like they dont care if i kill myself. I yelled at my grandma tell her they are the reason why i cut myself” and all she said was “go do it, kill yoursrlf ill care less. When she said that i just wanted to end […]
I’m 18 and for as long as I can remember I’ve been suicidal, I would run in front of cars when I was 4 because I’d heard of people getting killed by it. My parents got calls from my elementary school because I would say I wanted to more or less die. My parents just told me to not say it anymore. By the second grade I had multiple plans to kill myself. In the 3rd grade I told one of my peers about my thoughts and he encouraged me to act upon them. I had my first suicide attempt when I was ten. My […]
I can’t kill myself because it would destroy my family, but I don’t want to live. My mother died 6 weeks ago. It occurred to me then that I might be free to end my life, as I have thought about doing for a long time. She was the main reason I could not kill myself, because I believed that doing so might literally kill her as well. Now that she’s gone, though, I look at my sisters and see how much they depend on me and each other, and I still can’t do it. I have a good family. I can’t act on these […]
Slowly the hunger sets in burning and eating away at my sorry empty selfish soul… How did I get here… The cold is taking over and yet somehow it’s so comforting… So I’ll lay here in the dark my mind spinning itself into 10,000 tiny knots I can’t unscramble… Fucking get me out of this hell!!! Please I pray he will get so angry that he’ll just decide one day to finish me off with his bare hands… Kill my body like he’s killed my soul.. Please fucking kill me! Kill me now! My burdens will no longer be yours when I’m finally resting in […]
I would never kill myself with someone else’s gun.
Or the gun my brother bought me.
When you’re suicidal, why do you choose not to kill yourself?
I don’t know why I haven’t killed myself yet. I am so tired of being depressed; I am so tired of my mood swings.
I wish I didn’t care about anything; I wish that I was a sociopath.
My mother is literally a few paces away. If I went and told her right now that I am planning to kill myself, she will take me to a mental hospital. I could tell her.
But I won’t.
I have letters to write and grades to make. It’s not time yet. I’ll hold on a little bit longer. I have to follow my plan.
I’m the reason why my parents may get a divorce soon.. the only thing that’s holding this family together is my soon to be seven year old brother. Listen, I’m not overreacting or anything when I say this, my family hates me. Because I’m pretty sure that most families don’t call their daughters/sons: tramps, sl*ts, wh**es, and other things like that…
When I was in the eighth grade I was put into an actual public school; I thought everything would turn out alright. I thought everything would go the way I wanted it to. I was wrong. Not even a month of school had passed before […]
My dad decided to yell and yell an yell and try to hit us all threaten to kill us then kicked us out now we’re back at the house I’m so tired of this if it weren’t for my boyfriend I don’t know what I’d do he is the only thing keeping me here he tries to help me but doesn’t know how I love him I love him so fucking much actual love not that stupid shit I thought was love. I want to get out of here but I can’t until I graduate. I’m moving in with him as soon as he gets […]
i just want to be free
hi my life sucks. My dad has beaten me since i was 5, nobody understands me, i disqualified from university, in finding no job in this third world country, no goal life. Even my parents just said to me ” kill yourself” this new years
Please tell me a way, so i can be free of this torment called life.
If I truly wanted to kill myself I think I would have done it by now. It has been on my mind for years now, but I just keep lying to myself that things will get better. I am constantly fixing one problem in my life just for another to arise. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I am out of options.
I’ve been depressed for only three years now and I have been in therapy and in treatment for two years and a half. I have been hospitalized 5 times in the past 2 years. I’m only 18 and I have felt enough pain to last a lifetime. I have tried so hard to get better, and nothing has changed, and I’m not sure if I can keep trying. I just want everything to stop. I don’t know what to do. I failed a suicide attempt in February and I so badly want to do it and succeed this time…
Have you ever had the feeling that you’ve been putting something off for so long that the moment you remember, you feel like you have to do it RIGHT NOW before it’s too late? Before the feeling passes and you’re left indifferent once again, you have to do something. Put it in motion. Write it in your calendar.
Well, that’s how I feel about suicide. And that’s why I guess the feeling is so intense when it comes across. Do it or face the consequences. It doesn’t matter if yesterday I felt like all my problems could be solved. It doesn’t matter if I felt like […]
the ex finally left again. that is a good thing, but that old feeling of loss and lonliness always return when she leaves. she was not the reason i tried to kill myself. i tried to kill myself because i do not know how to live in this world. i dont understand it. it dont understand me.evrything that was familiar and comfortable is gone. now, evrything is new and frightning. why is doing the right thing so hard?does the emptiness of loss ever go away? does the pain ever stop? each day i become more withdrawn and reclusive from society. hiding and hoping no one […]