It’s tearing me apart deciding whether I should commit suicide. I have an effective method and I’m extremely atheist, but I can’t decide whether to it. My life is shit and I doubt I’ll ever be capable of anything worthwhile or worthy of love, but I still cling to life. Why? It’s over. Why can’t I just do it? I feel I’m better off dead but I’m too scared to kill myself. What should I do?
Tag:
kill
we bleed just to know that were alive. you hurt yourslef on the outside trying to kill the monster on the inside. the worst thing about being sad is that your not really sure about what makes you happy anymore. its like i can compose my self when i with people but when im alone i totally just break down… I’ll adimt it, i stress out, i cry, i hide my emotions, i fake a laugh, i hurt but you know what? i’m trying and its not very easy
I’ve spent most of my life being suicidal. Every single day I wake up and wonder if it’s going to be my last. I exist in a dissociated haze or fog 99% of the time. I really hate my life. I don’t so much hate my job — I think I just hate doing anything that takes any effort… like I am just so thoroughly tired that I don’t give a shit enough to lift a finger for myself anymore. I just want to not work and wait for the credit card to run out and then kill myself.
Over the past seven years I’ve drifted […]
Boys cry.
Cigarettes do kill,
parents lie,
boats sink,
flowers die.
Life goes on,
with or without you.
I’m not gonna go out of my way to kill myself, but I wouldn’t really care if something happened to me. I don’t see why I should care. No one else will. So it wouldn’t really matter.
i really wish i had the balls to kill myself im just so tired
Most of us are here because we feel so shit we want to kill ourselves. Â So I want to tell my story..
I had been crying non stop every day for about 4 months. I would go to college, cry, go gome, cry, cry myself to sleep.. it was a never ending cycle of me crying. Till one day during my lunch break at college I decided I had, had enough. I got lots of differdnt friends to go to shops and buy me tablets  (I couldn’t because I was too young) Anyway, I , anahed to get a fair amount of tablets, since more than […]
I can’t ever be happy ever in my life I really just want to kill myself already
“suicide doesn’t kill people, sadness does”
I mean, mother of God, this helpless feeling has not gone away all week, and just keeps getting worse.
So, let’s blast some motherfucking epic music. Kill all those fucking demons.
I’m just a girl… A girl who is truly broken, I have tried to kill myself many many many times. I have scars, scars all up my wrist all down my thighs. I guess I just want to let someone know what I’m feeling because I can’t talk about how I’m feeling to any of my loved ones, they can’t see me like this. I will kill myself, I will. It hurts knowing that nobody is there for you… Ever. My mom wanders why I am always sleeping, she has no Idea, I pray to god that I don’t wake up… Every night! But I […]
I’m so tired, and just kind of want to die. I just feel so sad. I was thinking about just popping about 100 ibuprofen, and then maybe slitting my wrists over and over and over again. Maybe I will? Maybe I won’t?
I’m not entirely sure what I’m going to do anymore.
I don’t want my girlfriend to be my girlfriend anymore.
I don’t want my friends to be my friends anymore.
I do NOT want my parents to be my parents anymore.
They accuse me of self harming, although all I have is scars.
They tell me they want me to, go to some […]
Memoirs of Suicide
June 19th 2013. That was the day I tried to kill myself. Yeah. Not what you’d expect from a nice girl, right? It’s hard understanding what drives someone to want to kill themselves unless you’ve been there, but I’ll try to explain it as best I can.
It’s like you’re a speed above or below everyone else, you can see them but they’re moving too slow or too fast for you to catch up. I was with people but I was always alone. It’s like I was in a bed in a really deep ditch and I had to try and crawl out of […]
Do you think it’s better that we know we have the option to end our lives ourselves or would it have been better if we did not know it was possible for us to commit suicide? Does knowing we can kill ourselves make us give up more easily and not look for a solution than if we didn’t know suicide was an option?
I don’t know if that make sense just curious as to other people’s opinions.
yesterday I had a phone call from my GP (DR’s) they said i had to go in right away to discourse my latest  blood test. when I  got I there  they saw me almost right away so basically I’ve got  deficiency in vitamin D,A,C,b12  i’m also anemia on top off all that the sodium and potassium  are low as well and i’ve been give a shit load off pills to help with this because i’m bulimic and have been for over 10 years with episodes of anorexic I kinder know this could happen but I’m not going to stop  i don’t think i can it been apart off […]
I can sleep for days. Suicidal and depressed human minds do tend to sleep a lot. if only can manipulate that into practice of lucid dreaming. you’d kill yourself if that’s what you wanted. and then open your eyes. perhaps this is why I’m still around.
I was told it was going to get better. But, it is considered better if it still lasted 5 years. Where ever I go, I visualize different ways to kill myself with the objects around me. I tried to use my “imagination of my death” in my horror stories of torture. Its gets me to wonder if I really want to torture myself to death because of my self hatred or fall asleep to my death. This goes through my head everyday.
I would rather kill myself than continue  living with my mentally abusive mother
you come
crying
and eating
growing
your halo of gold
i take it
i steal you away chil’
to my palace
in the darkness
i shape you
molded clay
becoming
red and black
devil chil’
you are mine
now go
out into the sun
into the moonlight
break them chil’
tear them
kill their babies
poison their water
burn their crops
break the glass
shattering
make them crumble
give them
infernal fire
watch
as they turn to ash
go forth chil’
leave your chocolate behind
and become the devil
this world will end
you are
darkness
my creation
burn them all
Sleeping is awesome.Waking up and realizing how much does this world suck is what I don’t like.If death is like eternal sleep then I have nothing to fear but I still am very scared.Fear of death is probably the only reason why I didn’t kill myself.
On Thursday, I was discharged by the ‘Home Treatment’ people at the hospital after a month of getting my meds changed. Took me off the Zopiclone and Citalopram and switched to Tradazone.  I still get to take Lorazepam.
On Saturday I got my discharge papers through the post. I study them and see they have given me a new label.
Now they say I have an ‘Unstable Personality Disorder.’ I look it up online and that equals Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Before that they told me I had a SchizoAffective Disorder. Before that Psycotic Depressive. Before that Schizophrenic. Before that and before that I lose track. I know mental […]