finally my death comes, my breathing is really bad again…
these are my last word in this site… I need to write something for my family too, I want to thank them for everything… bye…
thanks everyone…
My Name Is: Inuk ***** goodbye…
Tag:
last
I mean, how do they help. I already know what’s wrong and I can’t fix it. I’ve been twice. I cancelled yesterday’s appointment because I don’t see the point. I’m a private person, whining to this yahoo ain’t helping anything, just let’s another judge me. I’m very close to leaving, I’m having the same feeling you get on your last day on the job, the last day of school. I’m done. There will be another failure and that’ll be enough to push the first domino.
Why the fuck do I NEED therapy. It won’t fix anything.
Talking about the good moments of my childhood forces me to be both nostalgic and incredibly sad at the same time. I wish things were that simple because even though I didn’t have a particularly easy childhood, a child’s problems are so much less complex. Today I decided to text a friend that I haven’t spoken to in a while. We met through a therapy group and somehow we clicked, even though neither of us are the most vocal of people. But I feel like we understood the pain in each other’s eyes, in a way no one else could. We never told each other […]
I try to sleep but i never can… All I ever do is sit up thinking constantly. I use to smoke bowls and do drugs to help but I’m trying to stay clean. I need to actually. But without drugs all i think about is hurting myself. When it will be my last day how it will all end. Does anyone know anyway to help with this shit? I mean I’m on meds but they don’t work at all. Someone anyone ideas please… I’m tired of wanting drugs and to hurt myself but I have nothing else.
You may not know it but so many people care about you… I’ve recently attempted suicide and when I woke up in the hospital only then I realized the awesome people I would have left behind. Yes life sucks and sometime it seems almost unbearable but nothing last forever not even emotions. Tough times don’t last, tough people do. Get the help you need and try your absolutely best everyday and you will find some sunshine in what seems like an awful storm. It’ll be hard, I won’t lie, there will be days when getting out of bed seems like a chore but never whatever […]
Life is death, death is life, there’s no life without death. Life is useless, life is worthless, life is not needed, at least not for me, life is a beautiful promess that can’t no be keep, life is a fairytale, life fed us up with bullshit, life makes us work our ass off for what, maybe something but at one point what will happen it will all go away, life tels you that itself is beautiful, but deep inside life is so ugly, life won’t last, all those things you’ve work for won’t last you won’t last and what will happen nothing, you’ll just go […]
A constant question I ask.. How did I get here? How did I get to this empty dark place? A few ppl have said that I am not to blame for my past. But what if I fought harder to prevent all this torture I have now? What if I could’ve prevented the nightmares and seeing his face feeling his hands and his breath. Smelling his disgusting sweat and hearing his disturbing voice? What if I am the one to blame? I feel as though he shouldn’t get away with all he did while I sit and remember every last thing.. Yet he has no […]
The time is drawing near….
I fear. It’s coming on a lot faster than I expected it to. It’s a little odd how the more and more I feel the need to exit this life, the less and less detailed and involved it needs to be. I used to sit and think about how much better things would be for me and for everyone else if I wasn’t here. It was like I would daydream about how wonderful I would “feel” and how free everyone else would be. I would picture my services when I was laid to rest and I would think of all […]
This will be my third story on here. And probably my last. I’m done. I typed up my note on my computer and I have my pills with some water. I am going to do it tonight or tomorrow night. I’m sorry if you tried to help me. It’s almost funny. I walk down my hallway and see pictures of me when I was younger. You wouldn’t even imagine I would become this. This monster that cuts himself and cries everyday just because he is different. Someone who can only find closure in death. I really wish it didn’t have to be this way. I just can’t see a […]
It doesn’t matter how much volunteer work I do, how many jobs I work at, how many classes I take, or how much I actively reach out to help people. Nobody wants anything to do with me. I’m very lonely. Nobody messages me or asks me to hang out with them, nobody asks how I’m doing, and last year nobody visited me in the hospital when I was there for a week. What’s wrong with me? Why am I this big of a social outcast? Why am I treated like I’m just extraordinarily annoying? I really just want to die. I want the pain to […]
God loves a fool. That is the reason I am still here. It is not because I have strong survival skills. My parents was proud of having a strong baby girl overcoming autism.
Unfortunately, I am not. I think it is a mistake they made for having me. Somehow I think I am burden to them as well as to this world. I guess if it weren’t for me, the autistic kid, my sister and brother could have turned out well . I grew with the world centering around me . I spent my entire childhood visiting psychiatrist, trying all kinds of things […]
Two weeks ago I left the psych ward after three months of trying to recover from depression and anxiety. Before I left, the shrinks there questioned me about how my three month stay had helped me. I lied, told them it changed something, told them it had made a difference, told them that “it taught myself a lot about me”. In truth, nothing has changed, but I didn’t have the balls to tell them about it. I felt like I had just wasted a quarter year of my life twiddling thumbs. I still feel anxious. I still feel depressed. I still feel like I could […]
This is my first post. My life has been full of setbacks and disappointments many by my own bad choices and many by terrible luck. I am possibly the biggest underachiever in the world. That’s why I couldn’t be happier when I met my beautiful wife learned that she wanted to be with me. 7 years later after watching her love turn cold after realizing that she was stuck with a loser she left (10 weeks ago). I am still holding out hope that we can save our marriage but that hope is fading. There are a few reasons to be hopeful but also many reasons that lead […]
I have no idea how long its been since i was last on here but i know its been awhile. I miss coming on the site everyday reading everyone’s stories, trying to help.
This week has been really rough for me. I have had 2 friends who tried killing themselves. Honestly i cant take this anymore. It hurts. I stayed up 2 nights in a row trying to talk one of them out. But it didn’t work…he tried and failed, thank god. I dont know what i would do without him in my life, he has talked me out of suicide a lot. theres something about […]
No point in living im am just giving up but I cant do it cause I can’t live with out her but I don’t even know if she still likes me we took a break and we still haven’t talk since its been about 3 weeks. When I first met her I was thinking about killing my self but we become good friends and then we dated she saved my life she never knew I was feeling like that cause I was scared to tell her. I don’t know what to do and my old feelings are coming back about ending it all. ;(
I sold everything I own and gave every last dime to US immigration services for them to process my paper work. Every last dime and I a still stuck in Jamaica. I did some things I am not proud of to get that paperwork going. Some really unclean things. Oh lord I wish I could wash my hands of those things. But I can’t. Stained. Scared. I really want to fly out but can’t afford that $250 ticket. The man that petitioned for me, he and I had a falling out. I hope he doesn’t go to immigration and get my green card revoked. Cause […]
I have so many questions
And for answers I’m guessin
If life’s a test well then I’m F’n
Everything gettin fucked up fast
Tmw I don’t know if I can last
Laugh hard when we mingle
Cause I’m the only one of us that’s single
And for anything to be serious I have to turn it into a jingle
Man my life is gettin stacked like Pringles
Under pressure ima crack
Headed down any road that ain’t my own
Since in my lain I’m all alone
Pick up the phone to hear the dial tone
Friends has just never been my zone
And now […]
i just cant anymore. today is the last….90 ambien 100 otc sleeping pills….i just can’t……i’m so so sorry.i really did try. but i cant i told you before i was afraid i’ve gone so far afield i was afraid i wouldn’t be able to find myself again….well i cant……i’m so sorry. i know this is gonna leave behind a big hurt and i’m sorry
I’m 36, I’ve dealt with suicidal thoughts for years. I’ve attempted it a couple of times. I’ve been sinking back into depression again and I want to die. I have a son, who is the only reason I haven’t ended my life yet. I worry about him. He’s a cutter. My boyfriend and I are having problems. I think he’s cheating on me and last night we had a physical altercation. I’m badly bruised and sore today. In 2 years, he’s never done that. I don’t know why he is now. I have no one to talk to. I’ve thought about taking pills and driving […]
Yet again, I can’t trust anyone. My “friend” left me last night cause I told her what I trully was. She said she can’t be friends with someone who’s depressed and stopped talking to me all together. I just feel like shutting myself from the world and go mute. I’ll just talk in sigh language when I have to.just completely shut myself from the world and hopefully die before I’m 20 🙁