All my parents do is make me feel like im not good enough. im sorry i cant be their perfect child. It’s hard trying to keep them happy.
My friends have all became distant. I sit alone on the bus and at lunch. None of them understand. I’ve tried telling them but they dont help. Only i can help myself, i understand that. but i dont know how. im lost.
I told my boyfriend my whole story once. the reason i started cutting. why im suicidal. why im always crying when he calls me late at night. I told him all of my secrets. He made me stop cutting and he made me happy again. He made the thoughts of suicide not occur as often. And then he left. He just dumped me. He left me alone in the dark. I learned not to trust anyone any more. because all they will do is disappear.
Not too long ago someone i love killed herself. thats when i started the self harm. I figured if she could do it then why cant i? She was like a sister to me. I feel like i could have saved her. It was my fault. Im the reason she’s gone now. I am a horrible person and i dont deserve to live.
I try to ask for help from anyone who can offer it but they dont seem to get it. what its like to transform mental pain into physical pain. to be driven to the point where you want to die. I want one person to listen. just one. that would be enough. i have 82 cuts. i want that to stop. i want to be normal and happy again. why wont they listen?
I’m tired of hearing “You’ll be okay.” or “I’m sorry.” or “It’ll get better.” because i’ve already accepted the fact that it wont get better. but i can at least try, right?