This is just a question that I don’t think I could answer myself, but I never understood why people would look for a suicide partner? Is it because they are scared to do it by themselves? Is it so they could be less lonely? I don’t know having a partner with me would make me feel like I was responsible for someones death. I hope I don’t sound judgy because I am honestly not trying to be. I am just genuinely curious.
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It has been awhile since I thought about something remotely close to the end of my life cycle, but I don’t think I can see that far ahead. I doubt anyone can, unless, of course, one is terminally ill and the end is really nigh. In fact, things in my life have been so randomly confusing or misleading, that sometimes, it feels better to keep my eyes closed; to look inward beyond the void of nothingness; to find a piece of serenity through meditation; to feel the weightlessness of sleep only to wake up in what appears to be a dream. Sometimes, I wake up […]
wanting to be alone and not saved…
Saved from what? ourselves?
Are we the ones that caused this?
do you think i wanted this?
we all get judged for the cuts on our wrists
the scares that remain after the bleeding and pain…
why do you think we’d do this to ourselves?
just because we want attention?
cause we’re weird?
has it ever crossed your mind that maybe there’s a reason behind these scares?
well maybe it should…
maybe you should think about it before you judge …
before you look down on the girl that always wears long sleeves …
before you turn your […]
He left with her; ten years younger than I. How the hell can I compete? He is so beautiful to look at I want to stab a knife in my stomach and rip all the guts out by turning. I can’t have what I want. I want him. He wants her: story of my life. I saw them leave together. So I ended up drunk at some house party where I made a fool of myself and let some dumb dog chew my hands and arms to bits. I feel nothing. It felt so good at the time to let the dog chew and chew […]
Im 26 today. Every day i live is another day i pray to die. How fucked up is that. I keep praying to god that he’ll just take me his own way. Car accident. Heart attack. Allergic reaction. The flu. Some crazy disease. Cancer. Being hit by a car. Even kidnapping, I dont really care anymore. Ive already been raped… Rape and murder would be better than this shit. I just dont want to get to the point where i have to do it myself. Why cant i just accidentally take the wrong step going up the stairs and, bam, thats all she wrote. Its crazy […]
Usually, I start out my posts in metaphors and similies because that is how my brain works. That is how I think…constantly making connections and drawing lines. This time, I am going to just full out rant and rave because I’m finished.
I’ve screamed for help. I’ve got to counselors and I’ve gone to friends. I get shut out every time. No one believes me when I say that I am so anxious, scared, and depressed that I would find any way to make it stop. Last night, I sliced my arm open ready to let red run. Unfortunately, I didn’t die. My cut let out […]
I’m 16 years old and I’m considering suicide. My life is so useless I’m nothing but a leeche that sucks off my mother and fathers hard working cash. everytime I try to look at my sister to say hi she looks at me as if I was a creep . My own brother calls me a fatty and never stops saying it but he’s right. I’m addicted to gaming and this has led to my bad grades and I could never make my mom and dad proud. I’m so lazy and a waste of space this is all my fault I’m obese and I have […]
     “I’m sorry.”
Dear mom, I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment. I’m sorry I can’t get good grades. I’m sorry I can’t love up to your expectations. I’m sorry for not being successful.
Dear friends, I’m sorry I can’t keep a long term friendship with any of you. I’m sorry we lose connection for while. I’m sorry I never stayed. I’m sorry for pushing you away.
Dear people at my school, I’m sorry I don’t fit in unlike you do. I’m sorry that I’m weird. I’m sorry that I don’t look as pretty as most girls do.
Dear myself, I’m sorry I was ever born, I’m […]
1. silly- kids used it to bunk school,gf/bf ditched, no money, not beautiful body, lost/no  job, not enough money, not enough talent,…etc.
2. realism-allowing thoughts that most people will not dare to because they are intense, conflicts with survival. Â existential nihilism, Lost passion to do something. All human thing look like a foolish.
Which category are you belong to?
I’m stupid to think he would ACTUALLY want me….. WHY? Why does this always happen to me? I can’t even fucking CRY! He won’t talk to me, and he is with a new one. I warned her this time, because that f*cking b*tch is not worth her time. Not worth anyone’s time. He deserves to be alone. Sorry, but you don’t do this kinda crap to ANYONE. And I’m so tired of being used like this! I’m good until you get what you want and then you move on until you’re tired of them. Then where are you? Back to me because they won’t give […]
I don’t remember what it’s like, not to have a scar insight.
Tell me where I went wrong in life.
I don’t remember when I didn’t cry myself to sleep at night.
The nightmares seem to follow me.
I can’t remember a time I was actually alright.
What’s wrong with me?
When did my pain become so visually seen?
The scars are showing my history.
When did my brain turned on me?
I can’t look in the mirror anymore, because i’m afraid of what I’ll see.
Tell me when everyone turned their back on me?
They can’t see the darkness inside me.
When did I […]
Have you ever heard that saying..”Karma is a *****?” I been hearing that all my 19 years of my life so far and i actually agree with it. It is a fucken ***** -_-. Im not your typical ” Black girl” people call me a “white chocolate person” or ” oreo” because im not rude or disrespectful or all in your face about everything. i was bullied hardcore about myself. i dont like hip hop or rap, i dont braid hair and all that stereotype shit. it might shock you that im a vegetarian. aha yeah i can see why people call me the names […]
I’ve come to accept all this. It’s going to kill me, but I’ve accepted it. It’s just always going to be a part of my life. No running from it. Can’t get rid of it. Just have to deal with it until it’s over.
Im a bisexual girl n i have a struggle with fitting in with society cause i dress in boy clothes n stuff. Just another struggle i have to face. People look at me n judge they don’t understand. They look at my cuts n judge me. They look at my skin. Im native and i get marginalized for all these things. I get pushed aside. I battle addiction cause i feel that getting fucked up is better than dealing with this fucked up world… You know what i like this site because everyone on here is open minded i like that. Â U guys are all […]
today was weird i look around me at all the people that are happy and wonder what is so wrong with me that i cant be like that. my friend came out as gay and nobody made fun of him, and yet i get made fun of all the time for no reason. i wish i was normal…
This site is so sad yet so important – even having a rant or sharing to a cyber-shoulder can help.. can’t it? I have been increasingly thinking of suicide again.. and when I say thinking of it I mean it really has always been there. As with a lot of people on here who have suffered with mental and emotional baggage a big part of their life… they understand. I fall into a bracket where it has always been there looming.. but I guess it gets to a point in your life (I’m an oldie at 48) where you realise you have put a damn […]
Hello I’m 25yrs young I like that word better I’ve felt this way for awhile now I attempted suicide once already and died for about 5 seconds, long enough to hear the heart monitor flatline and feel life slip away, when I was a kid I had believed in finding something to believe in or hold onto, when I was younger I would look into the mirror and this feeling of sadness ignite in my heart I’d stare through the tears and tell myself it’ll change it’ll go away I used to wake up at night and cry until I fell asleep again sometimes my […]
The Suicide Spa- Check in if you wanna check out!
Does suicide really have to be this disgusting horrible action? Why is it so wrong to want to end your life on your own terms?
The thought of a 27 year old taking their own life is so “sad” and “unfortunate” yet a 95 year old dying ALONE, sick, and decrepit is just a normal everyday thing?
Death is the same no matter how you look at it. You “exist” then you don’t “exist” The end.
Why can’t society just admit that “life” for most of us is not that wonderful. I don’t want to watch myself grow old. […]
I can’t get out of my own head.
All the things I used to care about I don’t anymore. I used to care about working with youth and becoming a teacher and Changing someone’s life. Now I’ve dropped out of teaching school and my extra curricular activity working with youth.
I feel very unimportant in all aspects of my life. My hours at work got cut, now that other people have been hired I’m not important at work anymore. I stopped going to youth as my importance there dropped off. I used to do lectures there and now I’m not asked to do that anymore. I don’t know […]
Lately for about 1month and a half I’ve been feeling really disgusted with myself. Nothing about me pleases me. I think I really hate myself . I’m really fat and really ugly at least thats what I think. My friends and family think otherwise but no one actually understands me. Â If im not a hungry kid in africa or I can walk move and do other things most people can’t do I cant have no type of problems. Â I know I can try to change how look but its a lot harder then you expect. Â I can’t stand to look in the mirror it hurts […]