Pen to paper, ink on the page
Unable to let flow the words I made
A block, a wall, something in the way makes it feel like these words are fake. My heart, my soul, my self I used to pour in the paper
The lines, the truth printed out in front of their maker, never forced never coerced out of his mind but now those same words I’ve written a thousand times seem hard to find.
Have I drank the well dry? Is it because I’ve gotten too happy to cry or feel empty inside? Is that where my inspiration was derived? Where my […]
Tag:
look
When I look at others, I think to myself.. Wow they must have an amazing life and family, when really they don’t. They may act happy, they may act like they have everything they could ever want. Most people have given me the impression that they get what they want, and ask me why I act like I have nothing. I use to think they had more than me, when in reality, I have more than them. Their parents don’t care. They try but never receive the affection they deserve. Parents with a lot of money don’t pay attention to their family, they focus more […]
2/22/14
Id like to be able to think ill wake up tomorrow and be happy and forget that i feel the way i do and have for the past years of my life. I know that wont happen. I often look at myself in disgust and think about how much I’ve fucked up. I waste to much time doing this when i should be doing this. My future seems like a hell hole. I don’t see me Completing any of my dreams because i just cant come to think i’m good at fucking anything and it makes me want to just fucking give up. I have […]
You thought you could control me and you did, you still do. One thing I want most in life is to become the bigger person, and be able to forgive and forget. Why is it that you make this so impossible for me. I hate you with every inch of my being, my core, soul, or whatever it is that comprises this sad excuse of a human being that I am.
Every hit you gave, physical or emotional, scarred me to an extent which I am ashamed to admit. No one should have such control over another human being like you do with me. I see […]
if i just disappeared,
would you know?
would you care?
would you look for me there?
i know you would search,
you’d fail, but you’d try,
and you’d cry,
for this horrible loss,
of a shadow that lost
it’s battle with life,
i tried oh so hard,
but i failed,
life derailed,
down the suicide path,
it was painless and fast,
i didn’t want to last,
and now Im gone,
and you cry for me,
you cut deep,
and you weep,
and you lose lots of sleep,
but you slowly move on,
and you no longer care,
about the girl who should not have been […]
I’m in two minds when someone asks me if I’m ok. Part of me want’s to say “of course not, do I look like I’m fine?” The other part of me keeps thinking  “wow, someone noticed I’m not ok, maybe I’m not so worthless.” Opinions?
So I’m trying to find another way to do this whole ‘not killing myself’ thing. I’m starting to put my poetry out there too, so if anyone wants to read it or comment in it, the link is http://hellopoetry.com/lookingforeuphoria/
er, thanks and don’t be scared to hate it.
I’m alone again
I don’t know when this will end
I don’t know how long I can take it
I woke up today
My heart was beating so loud
Like it was taunting me
Saying that I should die
Saying that the sound of my heartbeat makes people cringe
I try to look on the bright side
But is there on anymore?
For the occasional sunset or sunrise there really isn’t a bright side
The person I fell for will never like me back
The people I give love will never truly love me back
The people I comfort will never really comfort me back
Any depressed girls here in the city who want to just talk? Â Im not trying to hook up but I have unsuccessfully on dating sites. Â Just being honest. Â Ive attempted suicide several times. Â I even shot up motor oil once. Â My latest plan is to…. Â well I dont want to give it away. Â Everything thinG I do turns to shit. Â Btw …. guys… Â quit hitting on me. Â (Males) Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â […]
i always wonder if people look at me and think.. damn i wish i looked like her!! or do they think damn shes ugly ass fuck. im a kinda thick girl and active tall long blond hair. and you would think ppl would like that but i guess not..
Is he just teasing me??? What should I do when I meet him next time???
by snowflake
written by snowflake
Last weekend my family and I went to visit my grandma at hometown. I saw all of my cousins who I haven’t seen for a year or more than we greeted each other but one of my cousins, started to show signs that he maybe is interested in me?
I just want to know if it’s just family love or that he likes me. When I was eating and talking to my mom and sister, and he was on the other side of the room talking to his mom. I occasionally would look to direction he was in and he would be looking at me. A while […]
So many doors.
Don’t know which way.
Nowhere to go.
Nowhere to stay.
I hear voices,
inside my head.
I hear things creeping
beside my bed.
They say i’m different.
They say i’m crazy.
I don’t do anything.
They think i’m lazy.
If hear voices
they give me shots.
Oh so much medication.
Pills? I take lots.
The people in my head,
they give me so much pain.
But now I know the truth.
I have gone insane.
In my home
I share with many,
each person has a room.
For there are always plenty.
We are all so different,
but yet we’re all the […]
I wanted to come here for a repost, as if once was not enough.
I’m a middle aged woman (55) whose life was wrecked by a cancer diagnosis followed by a divorce. Combo hit hard. Back then, I was tearful and melodramatic, and wrote a tearful and melodramatic post. Happily, that’s over. That is a distinct plus.
Another plus: I’ve lost my faith. I no longer believe in a life after death, and that’s a very freeing thing.
I have, I believe, been a good mother to my kids who are pretty happy, pretty well adjusted, and pretty clueless. This is a major plus 🙂
Meanwhile, I’m as suicidal […]
Today just couldn’t get any worse. Finally I get all ready for work, only to forget my bus card.. Go back home look around and still nothing..
What else can fucking go wrong in my life?
I’ve found that the more I slice myself the pain takes my mind off what’s happening in this world.. It would just be easier to just to end things quick but i will get there.. Eventually I will get there
I’ve been coping since the middle of December. I just can’t get past everything that has happened.
I was sexually abused from age 9-12 by my father’s half-brother. At 18, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, depression, PTSD, and borderline personality disorder, for which I was in a state psychiatric facility. While I was a patient there, I was on a pass (meaning I could leave the hospital premises, which that time I was for a week). On the last full day, I was raped by someone who I knew and was a childhood friend. I refuse to tell my family about the rape because they […]
So far, in this short period I call a life, I’ve been hurt by three people. Whoever reads this post will probably be thinking, Only three? That’s nothing. But these three people have really put me down in life and I just can’t seem to pull myself back up. No matter how hard I try and get a few inches higher, I somehow manage to go down again the next day….
I’m not much of an expert on relationships, but I know something is definitely wrong when the “boy” you are with for almost three years ignores you for his friends. He would rather play his dumb […]
I’m thirteen years old.  I don’t know if it’s true or not but for some reason I have the fact that my parents hate me implanted into my brain.  I can’t seem to be able to trust them no matter what.  They’ve been making fun of me for as long as I can remember.  Some days they’re always calling me names and screaming at me.  They always threaten and criticize me and make me feel like nothing.  They blow it off and say that they’re just being sarcastic and that I can’t take a joke, but I don’t laugh at any of their […]
Things become complicated when talking about the source of my depression…Â Apart from the Bipolar and the usual day to day naturaly occurring depression, there is almost certainly a third…
Appologies for the length of the post, I hope someone is bored enough to read the whole thing ;)Â I just wanted to post it in case I had to explain things again at some point…
I have a fairly rare connective tissue disorder called Marfan’s Syndrome. About one in every 5000 people are affected. The condition is extremely hard to diagnose and I was only diagnosed by the age of 28. As a baby, I refused […]
It never ceases to amaze me just how cruel and insane the world can be.
People will just build you up and then blow you up for their own enjoyment. So many people have hated me my entire life. I have noting left to look forward to in life. this is driving me insane! I just wish I could be a different person and experience what’s it’s like to have a family, friends, and a girlfriend. I never will get to experience any of those things Why keep this suffering going?
It’s crazy, I graduated high school at sixteen. I’m twenty now, and still only have two college classes under my belt because I can’t afford school working my crap job. I barely make enough to get by while eating only once or twice a day, and I can’t even work right now because my knee is too fucking damaged to walk on. Yet with all the things that I should be more worried about, I care more about the fact that I’m a magnet for stupid sluts while a girl that I can have an intelligent conversation with, or that hasn’t slept with […]