I am a depressive person, My first suicide attempt was at age six and all I wanted is peace, never have to feel again.
Depression it’s not sadness, but lack of vitality, a suffering so huge over anything so little to anybody else.
I grew up to become a chemical-pharmacist and treat myself and I want to say I been reading you guys and know many of you think you may not actually get to suicide and just come here and read and post because you feel like it; like waiting until you feel so fucked up that fear and doubt are gone. Believe me, […]
I am soon to be 18 and time seems to be plunging forward. I was unable to meet any of my parent’s expectations and when I turn 18 I will be disowned because of this. Maybe it would be good to be able to never see them ever again but I’m scared and don’t know what to do. I’ve run out of chances and time. Being a suicidal child since the age of 7 with numerous suicidal attempts had already ruined my chances of surviving this family .
What did they expect when my mother beat me most of the time as a child? My parents […]
I’ve been fighting with this stupid depression for over a year. Now that I managed to feel better, with a lot of work and dedication, everybody around me is falling down. I got 3 friends who suddenly want to die. One of them is at the hospital right now, for it. This is weird. I don’t want to lose them. I’m probably the best person to understand them, and help, but I don’t really know how to. I don’t really know exactly what made ME feel better. Just pills, therapy and taking some risks.
This is a mad world. Really. I thought I wasn’t strong enough. […]
Black bass. Black race. The gothic empire, the last in dire. The devour, of all, has settled. The sound of the new age, before, the march of the horse. The next one thousand years. Evolve me. To fight back. To die for it. The predecessors have all been taken. Tears and love, Princess Diana. The cannon. The lion. The sabre of light; the ultimate hope. You, too. Now we know, a group of killer narcissist does not want to lose control. Pig-head monsters. I am the undertaker, call me the stone cold stunner. We will go right under. […]
I find out Thursday if I’m going to lose my house in the divorce. He has spent well over $100,000 of my money and jerks off to “Rape Galaxy,” yet is a very prominent person in the Jewish world. I’m not starting my life all over again at 50. He can have the house so my daughter can continue to be raised here. August 8 can’t come soon enough.
How much better would life be without having to deal with mindless, narcissistic and self absorbed assholes? As if I don’t have enough shit sandwiches to eat every day, I have these useless bastards in my life that live for one and only one reason – to force everyone around them to kiss their asses. They never lose any sleep over unpaid bills or potential home foreclosure. They don’t ever get scraped up off the floor in the middle of the night and hauled to the Emergency Room because their lungs stop working. They don’t worry about how to get to work when their car […]
Take everything in stride and try to enjoy everything for what it is. I understand it’s easier said than done. But take that risk of believing and never giving up anything that’s worth it.Things will run their course and just remember when things get bad from darkness comes light and most importantly always remain yourself never lose sight of you.
This might seem different than most of the posts I make, or everybody else makes for that matter. I recently read something on depression and it mentioned how it’s very difficult to get back to or even remember how you were before your depression. You lose yourself and the lucky ones that get over their depression, don’t always know what kind of people they are, what their personality was like.
My question for you is, before this black monster crawled on top of your shoulders, what were you like?
I know this sounds silly but, would it be ideal to wear a diaper underneath a person’s clothes when it’s time to leave? Â I keep hearing different things about how people lose control of their bladder when the die.
     “I’m sorry.”
Dear mom, I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment. I’m sorry I can’t get good grades. I’m sorry I can’t love up to your expectations. I’m sorry for not being successful.
Dear friends, I’m sorry I can’t keep a long term friendship with any of you. I’m sorry we lose connection for while. I’m sorry I never stayed. I’m sorry for pushing you away.
Dear people at my school, I’m sorry I don’t fit in unlike you do. I’m sorry that I’m weird. I’m sorry that I don’t look as pretty as most girls do.
Dear myself, I’m sorry I was ever born, I’m […]
1. a guy sentenced to spent eternity pushing a rock up a mountain. only to have it roll back down to bottom
2. that guy had no meaning
3. Humans who don’t believe in god, heaven, hell all they have is struggle because in the end they are condemned to lose.
hence
Humans who believe in god are cowards and foolish.
Humans who don’t believe in god are deadly dumb to live because human life is like Sisyphus.
“I kissed the scars on her skin.
I still think you’re beautiful, and I don’t ever wanna lose my best friend.
I screamed out,”God, you vulture, bring her back or take me with her!”
~Pierce the Veil
i am writing this down more as a note to myself than to all of you but you can still listen.I am not going to kill myself in a few days from now though i may die and that is the intended goal as i do not have the desired will to live,But im probably not going to die as my attempts always fail.
the plan will be to reschedule appointments to friday that way i can get an important event out of the way.Id like to take friday off completely but i dont know if thats possible.anyway after my appointment i will go to […]
Okay. So I haven’t wrote here in a year…I guess I thought things were getting slightly better…they’re not. Life sucks. Now I’m 20. In college…and I just want to drop out soo bad, but at the same time, I really want to be a nurse so I have to keep going right? I feel like such a failure. Because, I might not graduate on time, and I feel as if all my friends are graduating and going to get nice jobs and start their life. And then there’ me who is still struggling to even get up in the morning. I still hate the way […]
i am so tired of having to fake a smile so that other people can accept me, i am so tired of having to pretend that i am tired instead of telling people the truth that i cant handle my life. i am “happier when am sleeping than when i am awake. my dreams keep me going knowing that one day i will jump off from that building. i am tired of getting rejected because i love too easily, now i am afraid to say i love in fear that i will lose someone, i only have one close friend and now like always i […]
Today as been one off the best days I’ve had in months so far I feel there is hope for me I can give so much to this world. my CPN (community psychiatric nurse) don’t know if you have them in the us? but in the uk we do. Well he said that I will be starting counselling next week I’ve been waiting for this for months as they have  a very long waiting list in my area where I live. I still feel down I still fell like ending it. but it is less today then it as been its mead me think my […]
I have a really fuckin’ stupid idea that worked really well for me.
Step 1. Get colored dot stickers; green, blue, and red.
Step 2. Strategically place the dots EVERYWHERE
Step 3. Identify the meaning of the dots
Green: focus on slowing and deepening your breathing
Blue: Say something nice to yourself
Red: Stop to think of something I am thankful for
Step 4. Do what the dots say…. Practice.
See, told you it was stupid, but it reminds us to calm down, be kind to ourselves, and be less anxious. What have you got to lose? Might as well give it a try.
There should be a law that says everything is 50 – 75% off according to how bad the economy is. That way companies would lose a bit of money but ultimately gain a profit and another the upside is that the economy holds up….think of all the spending people would do? I wonder why things are unregulated now….”lobbying” (legal bribery) perhaps?
http://sunny-quietinside.blogspot.in/
This is the link to my blog. soon, if time allowed, i’ll be posting my story too. i want to lose everything i consider sacred in me or secretly feel proud of.
I’ve thought about it many times, especially those sleepless nights, the drum beating inside the dark recess of my mind.
After the first attempt of 12 pills, then 24 pills, I decided to wake up and attend college both times I woke up from those failures.
I’ve been reading up a lot about Buddhism and about reincarnation or rebirth, and I was wondering and contemplated.
With everything that I’ve been through, and for me to cut my life short thinking that hell would probably be a better place to be in I realized, if I cop out now I’ll probably have to go through this entire experience again, […]