I post on this website to vent to let my thoughts and feelings flow out through these words. I don’t post on here to openly invite people to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do or how I should feel or to add to the distress in my life with their negativity. I am grateful to the people who have been positive and encouraging. At the end of the day I am me and I will make the right decision for me based on what I know and feel. I always find myself holding on I guess I can’t accept that life is truly […]
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mean
Hi Guys,
So today was a reaaaaaaaallllllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy good day. 😀 I’m actually kind of crying of happy tears. 😀
So let’s start off. Normal routine with school and stuff, BUT I GOT TO MEET SOMEONE THAT I’VE BEEN DYING TO MEET. And oh my goodness. I’m just really happy. Of course me being the awkwardly social human being I am I just blushed and didn’t really speak. (Sorry about that, Michael). And it’s just amazing.
I finally feel happy for once. I’m finally smiling. 😀 It’s just great. And the best part is that when I got home from where I was, it was about 11:00ish. My sister […]
I hope to make it through. I have one more year in this damn house and I’m moving out. I’m so done with my parents! I’ve heard to different stories. I’ve heard college gets worse and I’ve heard college gets better. I guess I have to wait and see for myself. I mean I don’t think anything can get worse then what I’ve been through and going through now. If it does I won’t make it.
I still remember how boring and empty my life was before i met him , and how when we started getting together it was just for fun ,wasn’t planning to ever fall for him or think the way im thinking right now ,i fell so hard i was ready to do anything literally ANYTHING ,and then he slightly started to back off ,its like he did that in purpose he just had this need to kill someone mentally for no reason ,he just left me without saying anything after he started to act mean ,i know he’s not mean i just dont know why! He […]
I want to fall asleep and never wake up, I lie awake at night thinking of nailing my door shut and I don’t know why, I aspire to do great things but in the morning, all I can see is the futility of it all…
The blessing of the condition is that you can have the grandest dreams, the curse of it all, is that you will never see your dreams realised because they are too unrealistic…
I’m due to have my lithium levels checked. On the one hand, I hope it comes back as too low so my medication gets pushed up…on the other hand I […]
it’s not a big problem, sorry. And I would have discuss it in a chat, but hey, it’s blocked here at my work.
Why on earth do I always feel so stupid, disappointed and empty when I ask someone to see me, and they can’t ? Really ? My mind knows it’s not personnal, but I can’t help the feelings. I rarely am courageous enough to offer activities to people, and when I do, it’s always like this. Well, maybe not always, but you know what I mean…
Tried to tell you, with all of my talk about death.
Tried to show you, but never in seriousness.
I hurt you and I’ll never let myself forget
How more people get hurt, the closer I get.
It’s so hard to find yourself in the shadows,
So I just settled for keepin’ the door closed.
Keepin’ secret the thoughts that rush through my head,
All the nights I’ve stayed up, thinkin’ “I should be dead.â€
I love you but it seems like I’m always falling.
I turned into a person who’s always name-calling,
And bitching and whining and hurting you all.
Time to find somewhere high […]
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