I post on this website to vent to let my thoughts and feelings flow out through these words. I don’t post on here to openly invite people to tell me what I should or shouldn’t do or how I should feel or to add to the distress in my life with their negativity. I am grateful to the people who have been positive and encouraging. At the end of the day I am me and I will make the right decision for me based on what I know and feel. I always find myself holding on I guess I can’t accept that life is truly pointless I don’t want to believe that all people are selfish monsters.So instead I cling on to any tiny shred of hope and I hold on for dear life I hold on because I am afraid. I don’t want to accept a cruel reality this big. Death doesn’t mean an escape to me anymore its more of a gift, a peaceful gift. I wish that when I close my eyes I won’t have to keep opening them everyday. It is hard to believe in a god or even in anything good in life because those things are like unicorns in my world. I want the simple things from life love health and a good job, but those things are far out of reach and every time I even attempt to get anywhere close everything falls apart. I am so fucked up mentally and emotionally and I’m just bitter. I can’t manage to successfully make good friends I mean I can meet people and make friends but not the good reliable type. So I may as well have no friends no family no nothing I am alone. Alone with these painful thoughts and feelings and it is torture truly to go through all of this.
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Alina-malina,
don’t even dare to say unicorn are not real
I liked your post. You are strong person because you keep going on and that’s incredible.
I guess it’s okay to fuck things up because without trying there are no mistakes either.
“Make glorious mistakes” – Neil Gaiman
Good thing that you know who you are and what you want, and that in the end you will usey our own solutions. Keep in mind that if you don’t want people commenting you might considering disabling the comments on your posts, but keep in mind that they are just trying to help, nothing else.
Funny tho, you want the same things that most people want out of life (love, health and good job), and you say they are simple things… i don’t know about most, but i’d have to say that even if they are simple, finding and keeping those is one of the hardest things in life. And aren’t the simplest and smaller things the most important in life anyway?
@Endless honestly idc what you think just because you’ve seen my posts you think you know what my problems may or may not be, well your wrong. Instead of reading or commenting on my post why don’t you go “help” someone else and worry about yourself. You clearly can’t read because I said people like yourself that come commenting negative things on my post are unnecessary. So you can go on about your own business thank you.
@keief it is people like you and a few other people that have been positive and encouraging and I honestly appreciate it. I just don’t like when people feel the need to bring negativity to others because they are miserable. People that post negative remarks aren’t trying to help its not advice its just negativity. Yeah i get what you mean its those simple things that give life meaning and without them it seems pointless.
Everything is a learning experience – making friends, no less. You learn how to be a good friend, and make good friends over time, with practice. Hopefully this isn’t one of the comments you don’t care about / want, but either way, well, there it is. 😮 Haha..
@lorax yeah i get what you mean, I’ve made friends that seemed great at first. I of course was always there to help or listen I never really expected something in return for my actions. But I was surprised when I needed help and I needed someone there for me and some how all those friends I was there for had vanished the moment that I needed a friend. But I guess I should worry about being my own friend because ultimately i think thats all I can count on.
No, you can count on people, it’s just a matter of finding which ones are willing to be there for you when you need them. Good people are hard to find these days, but they do still exist.
Finding good people is like looking for a 4 leaf clover. You sure can find one eventually, but it’s not going to be easy… best thing i can think off is to trust in people who gain your trust with facts, not words.
@lorax and @keief I kind of agree with both of you. I want to believe that there are good people I really do but I have yet to find one and sometimes wonder if I ever will. It’s so sad but its true and it sucks.
Well, I think you sound like you’re probably a good person, or you want to be one, which is about the same thing. It might take some time, but you’ll find them. 🙂
@alina_01
I get what you mean when you’d rather do without the seemingly negative comments that a few members on SP may post. I like to think that while they may sound really harsh, maybe there is a glimpse of helpful advice in there somewhere (not all of them of course.) I don’t want to see people get badmouthed or overly excessively hurt or exacerbate their suicidal depr3ssion, but sometimes there is a little frustrating, bitter truth to be learned in other’s advice and perhaps wisdom regardless the bitter reality behind it.
That being said, though you may not like what everyone has to comment on your posts, I get some good vibes from some of the things you a actively conveying. We’re here for you and we’ll help best we can 🙂