I am having the hardest time getting out of this bed today…. It’s super frustrating. I don’t understand how I’m just expected to wipe off these tears and go about life with the fake smile plastered on my face that I am forced to share. I can’t afford to miss work anymore. This struggle is beyond me, but I’ll take just one more step today, because somewhere deep down I know there’s more life left to go.
Tag:
miss
I’m sure that most of the world has heard that Robin Williams has passed away by asphyxiation. He died by suicide. Most of us on here are no stranger to depression and suicidal thoughts/tendencies. I’d be willing to guess that everyone here would be understanding but a curious thing happened with Robin’s passing. There has been so much attention on his passing and this “new” mysterious illness that magically gained relevance. Of course, it’s not new and it’s been real for so very long.
I have no right to go on and on about how much I will miss Mr. Williams and how he will forever […]
I’m so tired. I just miss my best friends. This entire thing is bullshit. I’m just so tired, and I can’t keep doing this. I can’t ‘hang on’ because it ‘gets better’. I’ve been waiting so long for it to get better. I can’t wait anymore, I’m just too tired.
I want to cut myself so bad right now. It’s like the longer I go without, the more intense the urges become. I should reward myself for going almost 3 weeks without any bloodshed. Positive reinforcement, or whatever that psychology theory is.
It might sound weird, but I almost miss the smell of the blood, the feel, the sight. I could get so much red out of just a few small wounds.
Why do I miss it?
So I haven’t slept anything tonight either. It seems it has become somewhat an habit of mine, not sleeping that is. My brain’s a gooey mess, and I find myself at the edge of sanity yet again.
I don’t know what’s worse, living in this blurry world of mine in a zombie like state, wasting time, almost not existing… Feeling this emptyness… It’s funny… No Mather how shit everything feels, if you take away one of the human essentials it actually gets worse. I just miss seeing things clearly, ya know? Sleeplessness is fogging up my fucked up mind and I feel so powerless.
but as I […]
My girlfriend and I of over two years are going off to college this fall. She thought she was going to the same school as me until just a few weeks ago she decided to change for the better if her education. She going to a different state. We truly are in love and aren’t one of those bullshit high school relationships. I’m gonna miss her so much and she’s all il ever think about the entire time. Now I don’t even want to go to college. I just want to be with her. Any advice?
Ok this is my last post, in just a few hours I’ll be gone.
I’ve spent my last days trying to enjoy myself and everything I love with my heart, but still it wasn’t enough to make me change my mind. I don’t have regrets but I would have loved to be able to give a propper goodbye to the people I love, anyway I don’t want them to know what I’ve done once it’s done, so I’ll have to keep all that for myself.
Life looks so different when you know it’s going to end, it’s not brighter nor darker, just different, as if you were […]
I miss my sex drive. i hope i get it back one day. i dont want to live like this. my health problems make me want to kill myself.
I wonder if anyone would miss me if I died. I mean like really miss me. There is always a certain sadness that comes with death. I think its the permanence of it and the unknowingness that makes it really sad. Even the death of someone you don’t know or a family pet is sad, so theres no doubt that my death with be sad for some people. But I wonder if people will remember me and miss me. Like a month down the road will one of my friends see something that reminds them of me and think about me? Will they wish I […]
is world going to miss me or I going to miss the world?
I feel I am going to miss human struggle and pain – That is another reason Why I am procrastinating my last day on this planet
I don’t know what to do with my life anymore. Life is just taking control of everything. It’s summer and my mom still hasn’t found out about my cuts and scars. I just need someone to talk to, please? Someone that understands me. I just miss the Jada I used to be.
so i posted part of my story on april 23rd. so i am miss reputation. before the bullying, i was a popular girl. i’m not bragging but i was a girl that people liked, and i was friends with a lot of people, they were all so nice. but then i fell in love with a boy, and we kissed, and of course he was a jerk and told everyone something else. that gave every boy the excuse to sexually harass me. girls thought i was a slut, and well that made me the perfect target for the girls who bullied me. wow, i don’t […]
I’m freaking out. I’m fucking freaking out. I can’t wait anymore. I want her. I want her to want me. Why is she taking so much time ? Why doesn’t she miss me ? Why doesn’t she come back regretting everything and saying I’m the love of her life ? It’s not fair. Stupid shitty life. I don’t deserve this and I’m sick and tired to collapse under your vicious hits. This girl is meant for me and she doesn’t even realize it. She doesn’t even want me. What will I do, alone and miserable in my stupid small apartment. Without her. Without everyone.
I won’t […]
I don’t even know what this is anymore. I used to be able to feel the pain, but apparently, if you immerse yourself in enough pain, you eventually stop feeling it. And I’m starting to miss it. I don’t even know. Anything, I guess. I’m lost in the world, and I’m not really sure I want to fin my way again. This is all I’ve ever known, and I don’t know what life will be like if everything were perfect. Suicide isn’t a last resort anymore- it’s the only option. And I have no choice but to take it eventually.
I must do it now. Now is the perfect time to do it. Now is probably the only chance i’ll ever get. my graduation completed last week. my sister’s marriage is also done. I am free right now. absolutely free. if i stick another month or so i’ll be expected to start finding a job. and i know i can’t do it at the time when i am expected to do some worldly thing. right now i am free. i must do it now. if i miss this opportunity i know i will regret that my whole life. my whole life will be ruined. i […]
I think Uptown and AngeredSoul have left this world for the next. Can we take a moment to pay our respects and celebrate the short lives that thay had here. I know they made an impact on me and I will miss them and keep them in my heart.
I’ve already been here
I’ve lived
I said goodbye
My moments are fading
As the time passes by
My photographs are burnt
They’ve forgotten my face
My footprints have disappeared
My clothes no longer have my scent
The end
They don’t miss me anymore
Looks like I’ve never been anything
Or anyone
It’s ok
The sorrow and the pain
The glory and the shame
The dreams and the emotion
The solitude and the devotion
All my unhappiness
Everything is nothingness
There is this internal conflict that keeps occurring more and more frequently. My feelings are trying to resurface and my numbness is trying to fight it away. I have the strangest dreams but they reflect those feelings I won’t allow myself to feel when I’m awake. When I’m dreaming I do feel them even if it’s just a pinch, but I feel it. And I wake up with the Reminence of those feelings and I don’t know what to do. These feelings for the most part have to do with one person in particular and I wish I could talk to this person but I […]
Everything is too much. I’ve been wanting to kill myself for so long, but I owe it to my family to make sure that it’s peaceful for them. I’m not financially stable enough for that. I really just feel like the only reason I ever save money is so I can die while still helping others. Why do I want to help? It’s stupid. I’m not needed. I’m useless and even when I try I fuck everything up. I don’t even know whether my family will miss me because they love and need me or if they’d simply be unused to my absence at first.
its time to go
not long now ill be gone soon
if you miss me look at moon
it not long now
ill always ask how
as i take my final breath
all gone
all over
now im greeting death