People have called me selfish for feeling suicidal but really I am far from it. I have just thought about it and when I die I would like my donate my body to help other people who need the help. I have done pretty pathetic things in my time in order to lets say “make up” for things I fail at in life. I sleep with a dumbell or my little dog in order to make up for that loneliness I feel in my heart. My dog though is one of the things that keeps me alive. To see her little tail wagging when she […]
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Mom
So , Its for me to believe that everyones sorty is differnt. This one..Well its beyond that.
I dont know how to explain my thought really, But im going to try to put you in my shoes, My state of mind.
*Big breath* Alright. . So sometimes that thing called Depression hits me, Makes me want to go home and cry, yell at everyone about my problems and just throw my hands around hoping that they will hit something to take away this pain.. This pain of loss. The pain of never being loved. Always getting walked out on, or forgotten. Im the type of […]
I used to have a few really good friends that i go to school with. They’ve either moved or we’ve had a falling out. Now i’m stuck by myself, with no one to go to… Today was the first day of senior year. It’s supposed to be the best year of your teenage years, right? Well. I could tell you otherwise. I walk in the class.. and i’m alone. Everyone’s in their own little cliques and i’m sitting in the back, alone. I’m not the most outgoing girl ever, i’ve been this way since i can remember… always the “quiet girl”. I didn’t really know […]
I am at the lowest i have ever been in my life. Sad to say, but i am starting to understand why people kill themselves. I am so depressed and can’t seem to shake it off. Im 27, a broken engagement sent me over the edge. I let any relationship im in consume my entire life and im never happy anyway because i cant seem to trust any man and end up being a crazy ***** for my insecurities. Im in love with a drug addict/alcoholic. He is a horrible person. He lies, steals, embarrasses me and doesnt work, but yet im completely addicted to […]
there is so much i have to say and i don’t really know where to begin… so i’ll try to start from the beginning. i don’t really remember ever being very happy. i spent the first five years of my life with a father who did and sold drugs all the time and when and if he came home he was abusive towards my mom. i don’t remember this but my mom told me that he pushed her down the stairs when she was pregant with my youngest brother. we never really had much money because my mom couldn’t work with all of us being […]
My aunt died after having cancer for four years. It was six days before my twelfth birthday. I was in sixth grade.
I felt nothing.
Jump forward a year and three months: Christmas 2010. During my seventh grade year.
My grandparents were crying while we were opening presents. It had something to do with a photo album, sent by my uncle, which had pictures of my aunt in it or something.
My depression started then. It’s lasted for almost two years now, getting progressively worse. It started out as grief, and from then until the first few months of eighth grade, whenever I’d hear about cancer or suicide I’d […]
i want to do it,,,,,,,,i just dont want my siblings to see something horrifying…..i dont want my mom to cry anymore, i dont want her crying over me………the rest of the world wont notice when im gone….
i have decided to take my mom suggestion and move away. she thinks it might help me , but i honestly don’t know. Last night i started cutting my self, apart of me felt good doing it then another part of me felt as if i am just stupid and sick.
i think i have a personality problem idk its just that there are times when i do things and am not sure why, or times were i sit and stare at my self in the mirror and talk to my self, i end up so deep in conversation that the other part […]
i fucking hate my mind. it plays such horrible games with me. i cant stop thinking about the beatings i would get from my mom. and each one is more vivid than the last. looks like im going to wind up cutting..again. such a fucking failure.
Ok here goes.
I’ve hated my life from the moment I became aware that life sucks hard. I was 10 when my loser, self hating mother died. I say self hating because she was married to an emotionally distant man who only bothered to turn up to impregnate her every so often. She got sick, he didn’t care. In fact I remember distinctly how he would take my sister and I to his girlfriends (yes plural) whenever she had a hospital appointment (they would turn on the TV and reappear when it was time to go home, nice). Interesting to note now that he was a […]
My name is Lyndsay & this is my experience in hell on earth.
I’m 20 years old, female, college student.
The craziest year of my life started August of 2011… Right around my birthday…. It seems like my birthday is a celebration of the worst times in my life. It’s like oh joy but not why you might think.
I was attending college and living at home with my mom and little brother. I had known that my mom had an addiction to pills all of my childhood. This has caused more problems than you can imagine (example seeing her go through withdraws and throwing […]
Im only 19 years old so I’m pretty new to this. I pretty sure were all here cuz we’re hurting an like many of u I think about killing myself all the time. But instead I’d figure I’ll try to fin help. I dnt have to pay any bills I love my mom I love my brothers I perfectly heatly. I jus got out of high school on my way to college I got a job. No kids no family lost. I’m pretty tall beautiful on the outside all is well but for some reason I’m soooo unhappy I dnt know why. Cuz I dnt […]
I have had 16 years of anxiety ridden life. The social phobia has gotten the best of me, I have no friends and am not in school. I stopped going last year in October.. After I ran away.
I was living in a dilapidated house. The ceilings leaked, the water pipes didn’t work, there was no heat. It had been less than a month that we lived there and we loved there due to transitions of homes. We were waiting for things to go through with the house we would be renting. Anyways, I was dealing with that and then school. I have no friends, […]
MY life has been hell for like 4-5 years now. I’m so tired of it.
I felt like I had JUST escaped from it all, but apparently not.
It started when my mom started doing drugs. That’s when my life changed. She started becoming more aggressive. She started staying in her room longer and sneaking friends in. She ruined me and my brothers lives. She eventually started to hit me. She attacked me a few times. She even lied to the cops about it once… I felt terrible that day. Even after all the stuff she’s put me through…I HATED seeing her walk out of […]
i Never Had a good Relationship with my Mom, she was Always out of the picture & on Drugs.
i Always wanted a mom Like The other kids in 4th Grade that would come & pick you up from school & just love you unconditionally. We fought , And Argued, She Told me She was Leaving Agian To NewMexico, i didnt really mind she had left multiple times . When she had gotten up there she called me maybe a month later saying she was pregnant, i Hated the Man she was with , He gotten her to take heroine agian, and she wasnt the same, She Said to me , […]
i Never Thought i Would Ever Think of Suicide or Self Harm, But When i Finally figured out i Was All By myself in a world full of non Understanding People, i Was left with Self harm, Daily. At First no i Didnt want to Kill myself it was just a stress release, i Was Only 13, My Mom was Never Around, && i Was Diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder, & Put on Meds For that.
i Didnt Want to Kill Myself until the Day i Went And Asked my Dad for help, i Felt worse that day, && i wasnt Just going to cutt, of corse he didnt believe me. […]
I don’t Know What Should I do.. Who Should I Talk.. I Am Going to die Soon..
by Shivi
written by Shivi
I am Just a Person Like you all.. I also live a Unwanted life.. I am living but nobody can see that By each Passing day I am dieing.. I am killing myself inside.. My soul is no more.. I am Spiritually dead.. But I physically Smile Only for the ones who love Me.. And I don’t know why!
I know how it feels to cry alone in the blanket.. just crying and crying!! I don’t know what my future gonna be! My Parents constantly giving me Tensions and Tensions.. I am Killing myself inside in these Stress tensions..
Sometimes I feel “Relations are everything and the […]
I probably don’t seem like I’m going through a lot but to me, I am. Ever since I was a kid i was really emotional, I may have acted sooo tough. But in reality the most littlest things hurt me. I’m a girl btw, and I was one fat ugly girl when i was young. I was always hated ever since I was 6. Everybody in every school I went to always hated me. For some reason and i swear to God i was soo nice and I didn’t talk much,  I still remember I use to have this little doll my cousin made me, and I […]
Honestly, this is killing me. Everyday, I wake up..
My mom is on drugs and she wants nothing to do with me,
My brother is in prison.. And dad’s getting older. Nothing easy anymore.
Guys, (girls) This isnt a cry for help. This is an honest statement.
I can’t go on much longer.
I’m in a relationship with someone I’m so in love with, but I get ignored on a daily basis.
It hurts more than anything. I could be happy. I really could, but not like this.
I’ve attempted suicide 5 times
I have scars, and I’ve be committed into the hospital 3 times.
i almost fully had the will to continue on living..then i go to a friends house and her sister tells me she is tryin to split my bf and i by telling my parents im still secretly dating him. my parents find out; i wont have internet access at all! let alone my bf? i cant live without him, hes half the reason im still alive and if i lose internet access il lose the other half, i cant let that happen…but if she does tell she has no proof. haha jokes on her now but still freaking i just might lose everyone close to […]