You Can Loose People so Fast;

i Never Had a good Relationship with my Mom, she was Always out of the picture & on Drugs.

i Always wanted a mom Like The other kids in 4th Grade that would come & pick you up from school & just love you unconditionally. We fought , And Argued, She Told me She was Leaving Agian To NewMexico, i didnt really mind she had left multiple times . When she had gotten up there she called me maybe a month later saying she was pregnant, i Hated the Man she was with , He gotten her to take heroine agian, and she wasnt the same, She Said to me , im going to rehab, & im going to get out And take care of the baby. for once i wanted her to do good, And for this baby to have a mom And grow up like it needed to.  It Was November 2011.  She was Flying Down Here for Thanksgiving CLEAN! it was the First time i Actually gotten to spend time with my Mother When she wasnt on Drugs And We Werent Agruing. The baby was beautiful. We Had a Great time but After thanksgiving she had to go back, she begged my Grandmother to let her stay down here. But she was doing so good, She Went back i Talked to her as soon as she landing her plane.  i Was busy with school and everything & didnt get to call her after that. i Came Home From a Friends House Over the weekend my Father Was Crying he asked me if i had talked to my mom i Said the other day when she landed , but not in the last few days. He Looked me in the Eyes And Said Your mom , She Died From a Blood infection she had gotten from the baby when she got a see-section, i Broke Down i Know we Didnt have the Best Relationship, but before she had passed away she made everything better agian, with everyone. the baby went to Foster care in new mexico.  Nothing Was Okay, i Didnt eat, iDidnt sleep iWas Having Nightmare of my mother for Weeks , i was selfharming, And i was able to be there for my family like i needed to be. one Day i was Going threw my Grandmother’s text Messages, & Found something i Really Didnt want to see, i Was coping surly but slowly. The Text was to my Aunts Number And i said dont tell anyone but the real reason kelly Died was a heroine Overdose. i Thought she was clean i Seen a Difference . She WAS Clean When she was down here. i Went to The Garage And got a rope Decide i Wanted to see And Say a Few more things i never got to say i Started to hang myself, i was hanging there. my Little sister that was 11 years old walked in, i Freaked out i couldnt stand for her to loose someone else she loved. i pulled the Ropee and it snapped i ran and hugged Her, The Next day i was Sitting in the UBH Mental Health Hospital, im More stable Knowing that i Need to help everyone my mom should have helped . yes i miss her , but its not my time yet!

Yes, i was a Fat and ugly baby, But my Mom Was A Beautiful Woman! <3