My life is a series of fucked up events and people, it’s my own hell. I have been hurt and disappointed so much in my life that I have shut down, I don’t truly trust anyone and I’m emotionally shut off. I was in love once or so I thought, and this past year I lost it all. Family, friends, and the guy I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. It’s over been over and yet I still talk to him, everything I keep doing is stupid. I want to let go to just leave all of this behind. […]
Tag:
move
Tired of trying. Tired of crying. Just a lost soul who is waiting for the end. The hurt that is going on inside, no one tries to understand. They all say, “Just get over it and move on.” but how can you get over feeling dead inside?
so im socially awkward and im losing friends left and right,, im probly gonna die in a few months when i save up for a gun ..i lods my girlfriend of three years had to move out of her place (now shes a heroine addict) i was recently told by a pscycologist from my town that i fit the symtoms of adhd innattentive…which makes so much sense but im 24 now i feel like my life is ruined..i cant pay attention in conversation so now i avoid everyone…im afraid the doctor will think that im just out for drugs to sell..this is my last shot […]
How do you tell them?
How do you tell them that you don’t want help?
How do you tell them that you don’t want to find a new job?
How do you tell them you don’t want to find someone else?
How do you tell them you don’t want to move away again?
How do you tell them you don’t want to start over?
How do you tell them you don’t even want to leave the house?
How do you tell them you don’t want to sleep?
How do you tell them you don’t want to be awake?
How do you tell them that none of those things make the emptiness go away?
How do tell […]
Finally a site where I can be honest and tell the truth. So where did I come from? From about age 13 or so under the influence of some great adult leaders I got into helping people especially in the area of health care.
Whether it was in my early age with the first aid and CPR card, until the 30 years that I’ve been licensed as a paramedic and respiratory therapist I did my best for everyone. I don’t know if it was the adrenaline rush or just the pure joy of seeing someone get better or comforted at their time of death I was […]
Well, this is the way
it goes for some of us.
We try our best,
we fight the good fight…
…and yet we cannot succeed
against the greater forces.
..And After everything
we’d been through,
Our moment
will finally arrive.
To part from this world,
and to move on to the other!!!
Maybe she is the smart one. Maybe I am just rotten inside. Maybe I was so horrible to her that she cant forgive me. I didnt think I was. I loved her with everything I am but maybe the stupid mistakes I made were that horrible. She is better off without me. I dont deserve anyone, especially her. She is amazing. I am nothing. I mean why would anyone want to be with someone who cuts themselves? She should run away. Run far away Bonney. Get away from this monster you were with. She deserves happiness and I cant give that to her. She wants […]
Hi guys. So, uhm, I’ve been very distraught lately. For the last 6 years I’ve had depression but it really started hitting me last year. Around April, my family turned their back on me. I live with my cousin, sister and grandmother. My cousin wanted to move out and she needed an excuse, so she said I abused her. I had to be forced to move away multiple times from April-September during that time. Also a lot of my closest friends have turned their backs too. I went to a lot of them for help and they all rejected me and this year i made […]
Being alone and being lonely are completely different notions. Being alone is the act of being secluded or apart from other human beings…Being lonely is the emotional detatchment you get from having no emotional connections. You can be in a stadium full of people and still be lonely. That is what I am, lonely. I revel in being alone. I love it. I can walk around my apartment naked if I really wanted to and there would be no one to complain but myself. And up until recently, I never minded be lonely, either. But now, I’m losing sight of any real reason to continue. […]
I have to leave this area. I live in East Greenbush NY and I have to get out. This is a horrible area to live in. To live here you either got to be rich and snotty or a druggie. The people here have bullied me all my school life going here until I transferred to an alternative school. I’m to the point I don’t talk to anyone from here anymore. I use to have friends who were decent and pretty cool. I knew there were rumors about me going around but recently, not too long ago I found out about some other rumors besides […]
Well, he’s gone. I can’t say much about this, just in case someone who knows me stumbles across this website, they would be able to tell that it’s me. So… the struggle it is to talk about my feelings. The love of my life is gone, and isn’t coming back for months. No more constantly texting him, or sneaking out to see him. Only a couple pictures, his stuff that he gave me, and memories. I just can’t believe the moment where he had to leave, came so soon. He made me so happy. I no longer feel the need to move, eat, or take […]
I wonder if I’m doing what’s best for me, or whether this decision will cause me more pain. I sit and think if there will ever be a day when I let go of this fear thats weighing me down. I wish for the day when I can love myself truly and be happy with who I am and where I’m at. For the day that I let myself fall hopelessly in love and get married and have kids, for the day when I’m not too afraid to let myself be happy. I wish and I hope for that day when for once my happiness […]
First of all sorry but i have wrote a lot, i have poured as much as i can say into this and feel completely lost and don’t know where to turn. I don’t want to burden anyone else with my problems but i just have no dea what to do.
I’m pretty much back to square one. I’ m no better than the 16 year old me who left school and had nothing to show for it.
I was diagnosed with manic depression at the age of 16 (although they were plenty of signs that i had this throughout my childhood) […]
It was midnight nobody was at home…. i picked the keys of my car … i locked my room and i moved to the car…the time was 2:30am …i started the moved on…then i went to a nearest mountainn…… i stopped the car and realizing all who dont care abt me … who betrayed me…And then i started the car again and i was incresing the car race and then i took my foot off from break and the car move soo speedly …And then i ijumped into the mountain with my car … I closed my eyes and praying to my lord […]
There is no point in floating away from this. I want to drown in this feeling. Swirling and turning my whole world upside down and throughout the insides of my soul. To the depths of this ever so sweet suffocating embrace.
Far off from the dust of the earth surface, where kings have failed but still fall back in place.
Down in my luck, to the tide sweeping love beneath my feet. Low in behold, below fire and smoke. Bringing this all to a close…
Too cold to move on
And too sweet to hold!
Keep me drowning….please? I beg for it if you’d be […]
Seeking comrade, base, abyss. The clan back to the land. Train like a Hitmonlee and Hitmonchan. Heal, to take over the world. Peace… kick it. Comrade.
by Bisban
written by Bisban
Seeking a roommate. I’m looking to move out of Southern California and checking out rooms in New Mexico right now. There are some pretty good deals if maybe we can split rent two ways; split 750 so 375 dollars. I’m open to other suggestions, too.
I Am Sorry
For all I’ve antagonize take pleasure as i agonize over my slow painful death and I say. I am sorry!
for those I have wronged my pain is prolonged I just want them to know. I am sorry!
for every second you waste on my stupid mistakes i am sorry
for every penny you spent on a life that I went, and wasted I am sorry
now that I’m gone I hope you move on and please… don’t remember me just know I am sorry
Do you ever feel a nagging feeling of emptiness and disappointment? At first it’s small and easily ignored. Then, it grows and becomes a weight on your shoulders until it bogs you down til you cannot move. Do you ever feel so depressed and lost that any relationships or interactions seem like so much work and effort? You don’t even feel connections anymore. You just feel empty…moving through the actions without much thought. It all seems like ceremony anymore.
I feel like this everyday and I don’t know how to escape. I no longer feel love, compassion, sympathy, hate, anger…nothing. All I feel is an odd […]
A comparison
Have you ever read what it is like to fall in to a black hole? That’s what depression feels like. You’re slowly moving towards the end, regardless of how hard you struggle you can not escape. Time slows down for you while the world seems to move on faster without you. You can only see the things that came in with you, your problems and vices, all floating next to you as you fall in to a singularity of your own misery. And to an onlooker, you will never actually disappear. Only get closer and closer to the end, but in reality, you’ve […]