I am sad to announce that, I am effectively going to end my life soon.
I don’t feel the need like to continue living, I don’t feel the need to continue worrying about anything. I am not going to talk about why I am going to end up my life, but just wanting to make you know is because I just can’t continue having pain.
I am going to leave everything, I don’t know how I am going to do it, but this is the last time i touch a keyboard; this is the last time i touch anything.
I am fucking annoyed of everyone […]
The Myth: People who intentionally cut, burn, or otherwise injure themselves are either trying to kill themselves or looking for attention.
Many people, particularly teenagers, who suffer from a variety of mental disorders cope with their inner pain by physically harming themselves, most commonly by cutting. Self-injury seems to be becoming more common and well-known these days, but myths about the self-injurer’s intentions have not gone away.
No matter what it looks like, self-injury is not a failed suicide attempt. Some self-injurers harm themselves over and over for years without having a single injury that would threaten their life, which would be an amazing record of failure […]
Have you ever wanted someone to give you everything. You spent forever obssesing over it getting emotionally drained over what you need and not focusing on what you are given. I realized a little too soon… too late that even if he gave me what I wanted I still wouldn’t know what to do with it. Thats just logic. A WOMAN WHO ACTS LIKE A CHILD WITH MEN LOOKING FOR COMFORT AND REGECTION. LOVE ME LOVE ME I told him when I don’t even love myself. So I left him before he could leave me so I could fix myself and become worthy but all I […]
These are the nights and the lights that we fade in
These are the words but the words aren’t coming out
They burn because they are hard to say
For every failing sun, there’s a morning after
but I just wanted you to know
that the world is ugly
but you’re beautiful to me
and are you thinking of me
like I’m thinking of you
though I really need to go
I just wanted you to know
It’s funny, despite it all, I’ve never felt this at ease before.
Whether its true acceptance, or an effect of events just causing an emotional overload and subsequent shutdown, numbing, and carefree state, I don’t know. Either way it doesn’t really matter.
How I survived the other times still confuses me, seems so simple, how could one screw up something like that, multiple times even, so strange.
An old friend once said to me years ago, “you know they say practice makes perfect”, sorta to lighten up the whole feeling of “how pathetic and useless am I to be able to fuck up something that easy”.
Might […]
you say you love me and are gonna come get me as soon as you have your own place… but I’m scared it won’t happen and I miss you and you still don’t have a phone and missing you kills me,makes me wish I were just dead. what if you’re just saying that? all I ever am is hurt. now I have first love telling me he loves me and I’ll always love him but I just need you. I fucking need you
Do I make it
Only with no wing
So that one day
If I may
Maybe one day
A world may need me
Maybe one day
A world may need me
Where may I go
To once again feel
A lone chain melody
Will I make it
Why is we need to feel happy infront of?? We dont if we feel like there is no happiness then there isnt being in that black hole again is utter shit it makes you feel utter shit and i remember saying shit like “im never gonna be in that black hole again” or “depression dont take over you” but in reality it does and it will never go away and even though we can be happy there is always that feeling inside that tells us that we shouldnt be and that everythings my fault i hate it especially when friends arent there for you when […]
I’m bored and need friends. Chatting in person is pretty nice. So I’m wondering who here is from Reno or within reasonable distance. Maybe we can get a support group going here or just have coffee and try to feel “normal” for a little while.
Cant stand society and most human beings. Must be in nature with A Lot of space or I will probably kill myself very soon. I dont need TV, or Music , or Computers, cars, Any of that, I just need the beauty and peace of nature, food (grown, hunting or fishing) and water. I can build my own shelter. I wonder if anyone feels similar…..
I took this photo this morning of my dog Finnegan slurping my cat, Charlie Chow Mein. Maybe I should say his cat. Finnegan is laid back. You can take food out of his mouth and he won’t bite you. If he feels his cat is being threatened though he will become fiercely protective. He will place himself between the perceived threat and the cat, be the threat human or another animal, and he will growl menacingly, his back hairs standing up a bit. And if the […]
I’m deeply sorry to those I have hurt. I hope that someday you’ll forgive me.
It’s been four and a half years daddy. I miss you. I pretend that I don’t care, and that I’m over it. But I’m not, not even a little. I wish you had never felt the need to do what you did. I wish you were still here. I wish you knew that I love you.
no home, no friends, anymore. they think i dont care. no love, no hope, no qualifications, no school (depression sorted that out). i need somewhere to go where i can be myself and not be reminded i have a disgusting family that want to ruin my reputation and shit all over my fathers memory. now i feel like i have to push mum away because shes not doing it right. every single aspect of my life seems messed up. ive had it all my life “your life is like a soap”. yeah, well im never gunna forget my friend telling me that, in second year. […]
I have recurrent depression and am on antidepressants and in therapy. I am married but my husband has just left me in my own when he knows I am feeling very bad today I cannot face getting dressed/eating or answering the phone. I have just returned from a 10 day holiday which was lovely but now I am home I just want to end it I cannot go on with this illness anymore I cannot face going back to work, I have been off sick now for 10 weeks, I am not getting better. Why oh why won’t this hideous illness lift and give me […]
well today was almost the day. why it wasn’t isn’t really important here. but the means, the opportunity and the will are all there. i really don’t know why i have fallen into the pit. i have been crying a lot (read everyday), angry, etc etc. you know the drill. after that then there is a certain kind of numbness. i am purposely withdrawing from the world, life. then the physical stuff isn’t exactly helping either. the near constant stomach pain whether i eat or not, various wounds from months ago that are not healing. chest pain and fatigue just for shits and giggles. yes […]
I think I am almost ready… I almost let it slip today that I have a plan. No one noticed though all I ever hear is have faith. Well it’s too late for that… I have to pick a date I think that will help push me to get everything ready. I wonder how long it will take for anyone to notice I am gone.
Just need to put my goodbyes in order…I have to say goodbye…
I don’t know how this works, I’ve never done this before but I need some kind words right now. I’ve lost a part of myself. It’s so hard to be happy. So hard to be motivated. Surrounded by people but if you open up they always leave. 2 psychologists are helping me work through what happened, but I just need a friend.
My life story – I was always the happy one. But I was raised in a post apocalyptic cult and was psychologically abused until 21. I come from a broken family with domestic violence. My mum is not mentally there, still severely damaged from sexual abuse at a […]
This depression is SO painful. My mind hurts. My chest hurts. I can barely stop crying. I really need to leave this earth so badly. There are little glimmers of hope, like tiny shimmers of light, but they’re gone just as quickly as they appear. Other than that, I worry for my daughter, how selfish of me it would be to bring her into this rotten world and then abandon her here without even me. I worry for my family, they would most likely never get over the grief of losing me, even tho I’m nothing. A burden. Useless. A failure. Still, that’s the way […]
It is always the same thing. Funnily, I should say, it is always the same thing. They pretend to care. They pretend to share my sorrow. They pretend to wish me the best.
But they just don’t care. They have their little own things to worry about and I’m not a part of these little things. I’m just contingent. And why (WHY?) would they care for someone who isn’t necessary? I’ve heard it a couple of times. I’m just the depressed and anxious girl they know and I need to stop worrying and to have bright ideas. Yeah please do tell a diabetic person to stop […]